Outspoken critics of long hair

Dave,It is an unfortunate part of human nature that people seem to feel it is necessary to tell others how to live their lives. Perhaps because I am a more introverted person and believe others have the right to make their own decisions, I don¹t go up to people and tell them what I think they should do. Unfortunately, society determines what is acceptable and what is not ... when any of us go out of that oftentimes narrow range, we get criticism. Anything that is deemed different or extreme is considered fair game.As a man with long hair (half way down my back) I have learned to brush off negative comments. Just because a person makes a comment doesn¹t mean everyone feels the same way. And even if the majority of people did agree, I still need to be true to myself. When I started growing my hair I started saying to myself, ³I don¹t care what other people think². I knew it would be a difficult battle for me, because I am extremely concerned about not offending or hurting others. But my choice to wear my hair long is not something that will hurt another individual. It is my personal right to be myself and it is something I like and have felt compelled to do for most of my adult life. Besides, I am the same person with long OR short hair.I recently discovered this forum, and confess I was somewhat surprised to learn that women with what some would consider extremely long hair get negative comments. I confess I thought it was something that affected primarily men with long hair. I am saddened that this is not the case, and wish this woman could have been spared the pain and loss of any length of hair. There will always be people in this world who will tell us how to live and what to do. But for me, even in areas of morality (in which I have some strong convictions) I would be very reluctant to force my opinion on someone else. We live in a free society where we have the right to make our own choices.This unfortunate woman made the mistake to let someone else¹s comment cause her to cut off two years of hair growth. She should have listened to her own feelings and just brushed off the other person¹s opinion as something not worth considering. You, Dave, were also the victim of someone else¹s attempt to control or tell you how to live your life. People will continue to do this, no matter what any of us do. We could shave our heads bald (hideous thought) and someone would be telling us that it is too short, or too shiny, or too much something else. You can¹t win.I still struggle with my long hair, especially when I get discouraged or my ego feels threatened. I suddenly become very self-conscious of my hair and feel like I should duck or hide. My personal insecurities and self esteem start to come into play and I find it feels like being naked and exposed. We each must fight our own battle with ourselves and those who would try to enforce their opinions on us. We must remain firm in our resolve to be ourselves and if that means our hair is longer than others consider acceptable , that is okay.At least people in this forum can encourage each other and be there as a sounding board for fears and frustrations. Personally, I think each of you who are reading this have the right to look any way you want. And you look great, so go for it with grace and joy!

Dave,I believe there are actually two sides of this issue, as there are also outspoken critics of short hair. There have been several posters on this board that have instantly assumed a woman has been coerced, butchered, and emotionally wrecked simply because she has short hair. I completely agree that a woman who cuts her hair short and then regrets it is much more impacted than a woman with short hair who decides to grow it out and doesn't particularly like it. Why? Because one obviously takes a great deal more time and sacrifice to return to it's previous state.From a purely objective viewpoint here, I think that those that encourage someone to cut their hair are viewed more harshly because the change is instant and undoing it can take years. Conversely, those preferring longer hair encourage a change that can take years, but that can undone in moments.Simply put, a person who has had short hair for a long time and finally grows it out may love it or decide to cut it off again. Same for a person with long hair who cuts it; they may love it or immediately start taking Viviscal or Miracle Grow or something. You have given several examples of folks that have done the latter, but I contend that there are also many in the former category.And believe it or not, in the vast majority of both cases, someone actually decides for themselves and isn't the victim of a meddling friend/family member or a rogue stylist.As usual,JerkyFlea

I just had the opportunity to meet a friend of a colleague. Upon seeingmy long hair, she told me had just had her thigh-length hair cut threeweeks ago because she had been told by several people that it was "toolong." The way she described the situation, she seemed to trying totalk herself into believing that she did "the right thing" to cut it,but I sensed she had strong regrets over having cut her hair. I laterspoke with my colleague who confirmed that her friend did indeed feelthis way.The concern I have is other people passing negative judgment againstthis woman's choice -- or anybody's choice -- to have very long hair.I myself had a stranger approach me just a few weeks ago who told methe exact same thing that others had told my colleague's friend -- thatmy hair was "too long." Were it not for my conviction to keep my hairlong, perhaps I too might have suffered similarly.While the sender of such a message may just be feeling uninhibited in"sharing" their (negative) opinion of others to their faces, it couldbe seen (and certainly perceived) as giving motivation/persuasion tocut.My question is, why do some people seem so eager to dissuade those ofus who have long or very long hair from having it?Dave