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Mary View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 12 2000 at 1:31am
I was reading with intrest in a previous post that many people feel that fine hair should be kept short.My hair is also fine, but my beautician has siad that I have alot of it. I remember when I was young I had long hair down to my waist, and eventually had it cut off into a pixie cut. I have always missed having long hair, and through the years I was always told that fine hair should be kept short in order to give it more body and appear thicker so I have kept it shorter cut in layer. I have never felt comfortable with my hair sty;le. I am more of a non-fuss person, and I think I would really be so much happier if I just left my hair grow as long as it wants to and keep the style simple, but now I am thinking....and am being told.... that becuase of my age ( 41 ) that I should keep my hair shorter and styled...long hair is for young girls...From finding this site and reading messages I think I am getting the courage to grow my hair and not worry about what is thought of me.... a lady my age trying to wear long hair...I sure could use advise and encouragment in addition to tips on how to care for my hair while it is growing and once I get it long. Thanks to everyone !!! Mary
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> Welcome Mary! I am one of the people who firmly believes that fine or thin hair is actually much better looking when long. When short it can tend to be flyaway and hard to deal with, but long it looks and feels fantastic, lots more volume and very soft. Don't listen to those people who tell you to cut your hair. The older you get, the more unique long hair is because everyone falls for that prejudice that only the young are allowed to enjoy long hair. I can sympathize totally, I'm 39 and my hair is to my knees. Frankly I think it makes me look a good ten years younger. If I could just lose my extra weight you couldn't tell the difference between me now and when I was 25! I'm sure Cheryl will be here too to encourage you about women over 40 with long hair. You go for it! And by the way, go read Karen's incredible tips and articles section, you'll find a world of good ideas about caring for your hair while it's growing and when it does get long. Best of luck! Dawn Dawn
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Hi Mary,Don't let other people try to tell you that long hair is only for "young" girls. I am 43 and have knee length hair. I am lucky, I guess, that no one ever tells me to cut my hair because of my age. Maybe that is because they don't realize just how old I am (thank you, long hair). My hair makes me look and feel younger. Whenever I am asked if I will ever cut my hair I always respond with "Never willingly!!!". My hair is still growing, and with luck, it may reach my ankles before I am too old to enjoy it. Maybe someday I will be known as that crazy old lady with the long hair (you know what I mean, the town "character") but I don't mind. I, at least, will be able to say that I was able to do something for myself that I not only enjoyed but could take great pride in. So if you want long hair, then keep growing it. Good luck, and keep us all posted. We "older" girls have to stick together:-)
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Mary:I would personally like to take every yo-yo who parrots that line about "all women over 40 should have short hair" out into the nearest field and shoot them.I'm over 40, I've had long hair all my life, and I'm not about to change now. I just color it, and wear it any way I want to.You want to let it grow? You go, girl!B>> I was reading with intrest in a previous> post that many people feel that fine hair should> be kept short.> My hair is also fine, but my beautician has> siad that I have alot of it. I remember when I> was young I had long hair down to my waist, and> eventually had it cut off into a pixie cut. I> have always missed having long hair, and through> the years I was always told that fine hair should> be kept short in order to give it more body and> appear thicker so I have kept it shorter cut in> layer. I have never felt comfortable with my hair> sty;le. I am more of a non-fuss person, and I> think I would really be so much happier if I just> left my hair grow as long as it wants to and keep> the style simple, but now I am thinking....and> am being told.... that becuase of my age ( 41> ) that I should keep my hair shorter and styled...long> hair is for young girls...> From finding this site and reading messages> I think I am getting the courage to grow my hair> and not worry about what is thought of me....> a lady my age trying to wear long hair...> I sure could use advise and encouragment> in addition to tips on how to care for my hair> while it is growing and once I get it long. Thanks> to everyone !!! Mary
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Cheryl View Drop Down
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You go girls!! ;-) I love it. I am also 39, like Dawn. I tho, have silver coming in on the front and sides. When I colored my hair, someone thought I was my son's sister!(would that make me my own daughter? haha) Even with that great compliment, I am just not a person who is into coloring. I think it's so gross. Plus, my hair grows fast and I had to do touch ups every two weeks. ick & ugh. I had second thoughts about letting my hair grow back long only because of the gray. After the water damage and cutting my hair off, I got caught up in the salon routine..doing what I thought was appropriate for my age, with the silver. I also was still having trouble with our water and some parts of my hair refused to grow back. Until finding a stylist who knew about water damage, my hair seemed doomed to being above shoulder length. Since rinsing my hair with the distilled water at every final rinse, parts of my hair that haven't grown for 5 years have started to grow like mad. I think I hit on a wonderful combination with the Aveda and the distilled water for my situation. Do you ever take a look around you and see how much everyone looks alike? I hate feeling like I am a clone. Every age group has it's pattern. Then every once in awhile you see a person who stands out. Not that I want to grow my hair back to be noticed. Not at all..it's a preference thing with me, I miss my long braid, and so does my husband. For most of my life I had a long braid hanging down or a bun and feathery bangs..that's me. I also like being my own style and not conforming to what's in. I think society has gone overboard and have made women slaves to the system. I think it's sad. If you want long hair... I say go for it. Long hair is a beauty at any age. I really look around now and compare women in different age groups and their hairstyles. There's something regal about a middle aged woman with long hair. I favor the knee length hair..that's my goal. I thank you gals for discussing this topic..I come here for support and thankfully find it. Cheryl> Hi Mary,> Don't let other people try to tell you that> long hair is only for "young" girls.> I am 43 and have knee length hair. I am lucky,> I guess, that no one ever tells me to cut my hair> because of my age. Maybe that is because they> don't realize just how old I am (thank you, long> hair). My hair makes me look and feel younger.> Whenever I am asked if I will ever cut my hair> I always respond with "Never willingly!!!".> My hair is still growing, and with luck, it may> reach my ankles before I am too old to enjoy it.> Maybe someday I will be known as that crazy old> lady with the long hair (you know what I mean,> the town "character") but I don't mind.> I, at least, will be able to say that I was able> to do something for myself that I not only enjoyed> but could take great pride in. So if you want> long hair, then keep growing it. Good luck, and> keep us all posted. We "older" girls> have to stick together:-)>
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Hey, good for you! I'm 38, my hair is down to my waist, and I have no intentions of cutting it short anytime soon. I do wear it differently than I would have when I was younger, but I certainly don't think I'm trying to look too young by having long hair. In fact, most of the younger women at my office have short to medium length hair. When I take my hair down to brush it and let it hang loose once or twice during the day, I get so many compliments and am asked why I don't leave it down all the time. The reason there is not because of thinking it doesn't look "professional" but because I'll find myself playing with it or snipping split ends with little scissors that I keep with me at all times -- rather than doing my work !Anyway, I'm looking forward to growing completely grey with hair down to my butt (or knees or ankles -- however long it will get.)Da Augs
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Mary et al,I just have to comment because this topic is so close to home for me. I left 40 behind a few years ago and when I tell people who don't know me, they can not believe it. I personally believe that it is because of my butt length hair. Long hair is very youthful. Always....in my opinion.I just returned from a trip to Portland, Oregon and attended a hair and beauty show at the Doubletree Hotel. I saw one of the hair models who had hair as long as mine get it totally cut off to a very short cut. As I walked past her she started to cry and the show stylists immediately...and in a loud voice as they looked at me....told the hair model that she looked "so much more mature with her short do". Of course they ALL had very short hair.The model looked at me with very sad teary eyes and then looked at her hair on the floor. I think she regretted her decision and she did not look more mature...she looked older.Like all of you...I am never going to cut my hair again. No matter how old I get to be. I tell people who ask that when I die they are doing to have to figure out a way to stuff all the hair into the coffin. :-)Thanks Dawn for the thumbs up on the articles. I wrote the one about hair over 40 because so much of it is true for me. :-)Karen> You go girls!! ;-) I love it. I am also 39,> like Dawn. I tho, have silver coming in on the> front and sides. When I colored my hair, someone> thought I was my son's sister!(would that make> me my own daughter? haha) Even with that great> compliment, I am just not a person who is into> coloring. I think it's so gross. Plus, my hair> grows fast and I had to do touch ups every two> weeks. ick & ugh. I had second thoughts about> letting my hair grow back long only because of> the gray. After the water damage and cutting my> hair off, I got caught up in the salon routine..doing> what I thought was appropriate for my age, with> the silver. I also was still having trouble with> our water and some parts of my hair refused to> grow back. Until finding a stylist who knew about> water damage, my hair seemed doomed to being above> shoulder length. Since rinsing my hair with the> distilled water at every final rinse, parts of> my hair that haven't grown for 5 years have started> to grow like mad. I think I hit on a wonderful> combination with the Aveda and the distilled water> for my situation. Do you ever take a look around> you and see how much everyone looks alike? I hate> feeling like I am a clone. Every age group has> it's pattern. Then every once in awhile you see> a person who stands out. Not that I want to grow> my hair back to be noticed. Not at all..it's a> preference thing with me, I miss my long braid,> and so does my husband. For most of my life I> had a long braid hanging down or a bun and feathery> bangs..that's me. I also like being my own style> and not conforming to what's in. I think society> has gone overboard and have made women slaves> to the system. I think it's sad. If you want long> hair... I say go for it. Long hair is a beauty> at any age. I really look around now and compare> women in different age groups and their hairstyles.> There's something regal about a middle aged woman> with long hair. I favor the knee length hair..that's> my goal. I thank you gals for discussing this> topic..I come here for support and thankfully> find it. Cheryl
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i'll bet all the people telling you that your too old for long hair are woman who are just jelious they can't grow theirs long, they just don't want anyone looking better than they do. my hats off to you!! you go for it!! good luck fred> I was reading with intrest in a previous> post that many people feel that fine hair should> be kept short.> My hair is also fine, but my beautician has> siad that I have alot of it. I remember when I> was young I had long hair down to my waist, and> eventually had it cut off into a pixie cut. I> have always missed having long hair, and through> the years I was always told that fine hair should> be kept short in order to give it more body and> appear thicker so I have kept it shorter cut in> layer. I have never felt comfortable with my hair> sty;le. I am more of a non-fuss person, and I> think I would really be so much happier if I just> left my hair grow as long as it wants to and keep> the style simple, but now I am thinking....and> am being told.... that becuase of my age ( 41> ) that I should keep my hair shorter and styled...long> hair is for young girls...> From finding this site and reading messages> I think I am getting the courage to grow my hair> and not worry about what is thought of me....> a lady my age trying to wear long hair...> I sure could use advise and encouragment> in addition to tips on how to care for my hair> while it is growing and once I get it long. Thanks> to everyone !!! Mary
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Yesterday when shopping, I saw a much older than 40 lady with waist length hair... She had feathery bangs in front that were totally gray and alot of gray in the back but not as much. Her hair was very attractive and as I was passing her I had to say "you have pretty hair". She lit up and smiled and said a big thank you. It was a sincere compliment because her hair was very attractive and I didn't want to gawk at her but couldn't help it. I made a promise to myself that I would compliment the longer haired older women for now on when possible. I sometimes compliment the younger ones too.. but I feel that society has placed a stigma on the older ladies to pressure them.. Just today my Mom was talking about cutting her hair and it's just starting to reach her shoulders again and I was telling her how pretty it is getting. Her reply? Oh, but I am too old to have my hair hanging down too long. She won't listen to me.. It's a shame because she has beautiful hair. (strawberry blonde) To me there is so much more you can do with longer hair. When you get a cut, you are kind of stuck with it. I am big on braiding and when I couldn't braid my hair, it was depressing. I cringed when reading Karen's email on the model who got her hair all cut off.. now she will look just like the rest of the other models. Poor thing. No longer will she be unique when it comes to her hair. That's what I like about the older ladies with long hair.. they are unique.. Cheryl> I was reading with intrest in a previous> post that many people feel that fine hair should> be kept short.> My hair is also fine, but my beautician has> siad that I have alot of it. I remember when I> was young I had long hair down to my waist, and> eventually had it cut off into a pixie cut. I> have always missed having long hair, and through> the years I was always told that fine hair should> be kept short in order to give it more body and> appear thicker so I have kept it shorter cut in> layer. I have never felt comfortable with my hair> sty;le. I am more of a non-fuss person, and I> think I would really be so much happier if I just> left my hair grow as long as it wants to and keep> the style simple, but now I am thinking....and> am being told.... that becuase of my age ( 41> ) that I should keep my hair shorter and styled...long> hair is for young girls...> From finding this site and reading messages> I think I am getting the courage to grow my hair> and not worry about what is thought of me....> a lady my age trying to wear long hair...> I sure could use advise and encouragment> in addition to tips on how to care for my hair> while it is growing and once I get it long. Thanks> to everyone !!! Mary
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Hi Cheryl,That is a great idea about complimenting older women with long hair. I always do try to compliment any woman I see with long hair but I am going to make a special effort from now on. I know it makes me feel good when people compliment me.Thanks for your insights and I hope your mom keeps her hair growing.KarenPS. Thanks Fred for your insight as well. Yes...it is almost always other women telling me to cut my hair and I think you are right. Jealousy is a good thought. :-)> Yesterday when shopping, I saw a much older> than 40 lady with waist length hair... She had> feathery bangs in front that were totally gray> and alot of gray in the back but not as much.> Her hair was very attractive and as I was passing> her I had to say "you have pretty hair".> She lit up and smiled and said a big thank you.> It was a sincere compliment because her hair was> very attractive and I didn't want to gawk at her> but couldn't help it. I made a promise to myself> that I would compliment the longer haired older> women for now on when possible. I sometimes compliment> the younger ones too.. but I feel that society> has placed a stigma on the older ladies to pressure> them.. Just today my Mom was talking about cutting> her hair and it's just starting to reach her shoulders> again and I was telling her how pretty it is getting.> Her reply? Oh, but I am too old to have my hair> hanging down too long. She won't listen to me..> It's a shame because she has beautiful hair. (strawberry> blonde) To me there is so much more you can do> with longer hair. When you get a cut, you are> kind of stuck with it. I am big on braiding and> when I couldn't braid my hair, it was depressing.> I cringed when reading Karen's email on the model> who got her hair all cut off.. now she will look> just like the rest of the other models. Poor thing.> No longer will she be unique when it comes to> her hair. That's what I like about the older ladies> with long hair.. they are unique.. Cheryl
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Here is a recent picture I took at this spring's Pecan Street Festival. The people were walking past pretty quickly, so I can't say this for certain, but I'm pretty sure that what you are seeing is a grandmother with the longest hair, mother with medium hair, and child with the shortest hair. I'll let the picture speak for itself.Related Link:The Men's Long Hair Site
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Awesome....Thanks,Karen> Here is a recent picture I took at this spring's> Pecan Street Festival. The people were walking> past pretty quickly, so I can't say this for certain,> but I'm pretty sure that what you are seeing is> a grandmother with the longest hair, mother with> medium hair, and child with the shortest hair.> I'll let the picture speak for itself.
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Dear Everyone..........Thanks for all of the support you have given me regarding if I should pursue my thought of letting my hair grow and finally being comfortable with myself. I know that it will take a long time but I think I will stick to it, and it is so wonderful to have found this site where I can find advice on hair care and support.Thanks Karen, and whomever else is involved with designing this site and keeping it current. It's a great place to come.Mary
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The picture does speak for itself and says a thousand words. One is that grandma is a knockout in the hair dept. Thanks for the pic Victor.. Cheryl> Here is a recent picture I took at this spring's> Pecan Street Festival. The people were walking> past pretty quickly, so I can't say this for certain,> but I'm pretty sure that what you are seeing is> a grandmother with the longest hair, mother with> medium hair, and child with the shortest hair.> I'll let the picture speak for itself.
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> I just returned from a trip to Portland, Oregon and attended a hair and beauty> show at the Doubletree Hotel. I saw one of the hair models who had hair as> long as mine get it totally cut off to a very short cut. As I walked past her she> started to cry and the show stylists immediately...and in a loud voice as they> looked at me....told the hair model that she looked "so much more mature with> her short do". Of course they ALL had very short hair.> The model looked at me with very sad teary eyes and then looked at her hair> on the floor. I think she regretted her decision and she did not look more> mature...she looked older.IMO, the stylists attempted to further perpetuate the myth about "looking" more mature with short hair. I thought maturity was about a reflection of a certain state of mind...?Maturation proceeds as we live life, and we get a little bit older each step along the way. And it may be generally true that a higher percentage of younger people have long hair than "less young" people, does that mean there is a correlation between these two statements?"If a then b" is true, and "if c then d" is true, does that mean "if a then d" is true? No.These stylists have twisted together two separate issues and attempted to correlate them. But sadly, the tactic may work to some degree. (But I have known *older* immature people with short hair, and I have known some very mature young people with long hair). Unfortunately, some women fall victim to faulty logic conveyed on the part of "professional" hairstylists.> ...the show stylists immediately...and in a loud voice as they> looked at me....told the hair model...Sounds as though the stylists wished to dis-empower Karen on her choice of her hair. Not very professional behavior on their part, IMO.Truly fortunate are those who are able to gain wisdom and maturity while managing to retain their long hair!Dave
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Hi Dave,Thanks for the great comments. On the flip side the same stylists will tell an "more mature" woman over 40 that she will look younger if she gets her hair cut. I think it is the secret conspiracy to have you become dependent on your hairstylist. The more you go and get your hair cut, the more often you spend money in their shop. Right?I was cleaning out my office and discovered the book...New Classic Beauty by Joey Mills. The book was published in 1987 and has all kinds of beauty tips. It has a chapter titled....Why Hair Is Even More Crucial as You Get Older....Here is a direct quote:"As a rule, shorter hair works better on women over forty. If your hair is fine, a blunt, straight cut will flatter you; if your hair is thick and wavy, I'd recommedn something layered. Unless you have it styled every day, a mane can be aging to an older woman because it "drags down" your features."I cringed. OK...so this book is over 10 years old. But a lot of stylists STILL believe this about women over 40.See what I mean? A conspiracy.Karen>> IMO, the stylists attempted to further perpetuate> the myth about "looking" more mature> with short hair. I thought maturity was about> a reflection of a certain state of mind...?> Maturation proceeds as we live life, and> we get a little bit older each step along the> way. And it may be generally true that a higher> percentage of younger people have long hair than> "less young" people, does that mean> there is a correlation between these two statements?>> "If a then b" is true, and "if> c then d" is true, does that mean "if> a then d" is true? No.> These stylists have twisted together two> separate issues and attempted to correlate them.> But sadly, the tactic may work to some degree.> (But I have known *older* immature people with> short hair, and I have known some very mature> young people with long hair). Unfortunately, some> women fall victim to faulty logic conveyed on> the part of "professional" hairstylists.>> Sounds as though the stylists wished to dis-empower> Karen on her choice of her hair. Not very professional> behavior on their part, IMO.> Truly fortunate are those who are able to> gain wisdom and maturity while managing to retain> their long hair!> Dave
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> On the flip side the same stylists will tell a "more mature" woman over 40> that she will look younger if she gets her hair cut.Pure fallacy! If she does go short, her hair length will more closely resemble the majority of the "more mature" set, thus making her look more like an older person, instead of looking younger.> I think it is the secret conspiracy to have you become dependent on your> hairstylist. The more you go and get your hair cut, the more often you spend> money in their shop. Right?You are 100% correct! An integral part of the conspiracy is to create dissonance in the minds of their clients regarding their choice of hair. Stylists wish to convince their clients that their present hairstyle is no longer "up to date," and wish to create a dependency on their stylist for "help" in staying/becoming "beautiful." So these misfortunate souls perpetually chase after the "latest" style, when they might instead find inner peace and happiness in the acceptance of themselves and their hair ("Hey, I've got this really great stuff called hair, and I can grow a whole lot of it!").> I was cleaning out my office and discovered the book...New Classic Beauty by> Joey Mills. The book was published in 1987 and has all kinds of beauty tips. It> has a chapter titled....Why Hair Is Even More Crucial as You Get Older....Ha! Just had to laugh because *their* message is actually "why LESS hair is even more crucial as you get older".... I know I'm playing with their words, but they are THEIR words, after all ;)> Here is a direct quote:> "As a rule, shorter hair works better on women over forty. If your hair is fine, a> blunt, straight cut will flatter you; if your hair is thick and wavy, I'd recommend> something layered. Unless you have it styled every day, a mane can be aging> to an older woman because it "drags down" your features."Personally, I do not understand these criticisms. To where, precisely, does it "drag" one's features? I thought one's features existed just exactly where they are...Shortening one's long hair would only lessen a distinguishing (and beautiful) feature.> I cringed. OK...so this book is over 10 years old. But a lot of stylists STILL> believe this about women over 40.> See what I mean? A conspiracy.They believe it because it's what they sell. But their message hasn't changed a whit in decades. The only thing that seems to be in need of a makeover is their attitude about the social acceptability, and yes, even the personal desirability, of the choice for long hair.Dave
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> "As a rule, shorter hair works better> on women over forty. If your hair is fine, a blunt,> straight cut will flatter you; if your hair is> thick and wavy, I'd recommedn something layered.> Unless you have it styled every day, a mane can> be aging to an older woman because it "drags> down" your features."Not only does this repeat the old chestnut that older women should cut their hair, it buys into that whole BS that your hair needs to look "styled" all the time. :-PWhat an outdated concept.-jennifer
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 1:33am
> Not only does this repeat the old chestnut> that older women should cut their hair, it buys> into that whole BS that your hair needs to look> "styled" all the time. :-P> What an outdated concept.> -jennifer short hair on older women makes them look older!
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