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Forum LockedI want to cut off my hair, but I'm afraid my husband will hate it!

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Mary View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 12 2000 at 2:47am
Don't get me wrong, I am married to the best guy in the world, but we disagree when it comes to my hair. I complain a lot about my hair, which is naturally curly and just below my shoulders, dark brown and very healthy. It has been this length since we met and my hair had grown to my waist by the time I cut it off when I was 18. I've tried layering it and wearing it straight for a change, but it's just not managable and I just want something new. I would love to try a short, layered cut, something with a lot of volume and body, but whenever I say I want to go to the salon and whack it all off, my husband groans. I know he doesn't think short hair is feminine, but I'm not talking about a buzz cut! Anyone have any advice?
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> Don't get me wrong, I am married to the best guy in> the world, but we disagree when it comes to my hair. I> complain a lot about my hair, which is naturally curly> and just below my shoulders, dark brown and very> healthy. It has been this length since we met and my> hair had grown to my waist by the time I cut it off> when I was 18. I've tried layering it and wearing it> straight for a change, but it's just not managable and> I just want something new. I would love to try a> short, layered cut, something with a lot of volume and> body, but whenever I say I want to go to the salon and> whack it all off, my husband groans. I know he doesn't> think short hair is feminine, but I'm not talking> about a buzz cut! Anyone have any advice?i say that you do what you want to do. does your husband get his hair cut the way you want it? if so, you have no room to do anything. but if he doesnt, its your hair! do what you want with it! maybe you should just do it. dont tell him, just go get it done and suprise him. if its what you want to do, thats all that matters. your husband should love you, not your hair. and if he likes it better long, thats fine. but if you want it short, cut it off. i guess thats just the way i see it. whenever anyone comes into my salon, thats what i tell them. be true to yourself before a husband, a lover, a spouse, or a boyfriend. unless they get their hair cut how you want it, you should do what you want with yours.
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Diane View Drop Down
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If you cut it you will only have one style to work with. If you leave it long you can do so many things. I used to have short hair, than I had shoulder lenght hair and now my hair reaches my waist. I never been more happier with longer hair because I get bored often and need to change my looks many times. With short hair you are stuck and you have to wait to let it grow to change it or cut it even more shorter. I can't tell you how many times I heard from women that the regretted it. By the way have you forgotten why you allow it this long in your life? I believe in long hair and I would like you to seriously think about all of this. Believe me short hair women also complain in the morning about their hair. Long hair is a treasure that one treasures for life.> Don't get me wrong, I am married to the best guy in> the world, but we disagree when it comes to my hair. I> complain a lot about my hair, which is naturally curly> and just below my shoulders, dark brown and very> healthy. It has been this length since we met and my> hair had grown to my waist by the time I cut it off> when I was 18. I've tried layering it and wearing it> straight for a change, but it's just not managable and> I just want something new. I would love to try a> short, layered cut, something with a lot of volume and> body, but whenever I say I want to go to the salon and> whack it all off, my husband groans. I know he doesn't> think short hair is feminine, but I'm not talking> about a buzz cut! Anyone have any advice?
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Cher View Drop Down
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> Don't get me wrong, I am married to the best guy in> the world, but we disagree when it comes to my hair. I> complain a lot about my hair, which is naturally curly> and just below my shoulders, dark brown and very> healthy. It has been this length since we met and my> hair had grown to my waist by the time I cut it off> when I was 18. I've tried layering it and wearing it> straight for a change, but it's just not managable and> I just want something new. I would love to try a> short, layered cut, something with a lot of volume and> body, but whenever I say I want to go to the salon and> whack it all off, my husband groans. I know he doesn't> think short hair is feminine, but I'm not talking> about a buzz cut! Anyone have any advice?It sounds like you have been through a few styles already to know what you would prefer. If you have naturally curly hair and you cut it short.. you probably will end up with lots of curls. My husband always trys to talk me out of trims, cuts whatever. He wants my hair to my knees. Most men love long hair. There are exceptions.Something funny happened to me today. I have an aquaintance that used to work at our mall.. Her hair is well below her knees. I used to stop and talk to her about her hair which is very lovely. She went to work for the historic part of our town driving one of the trolleys that takes tourists around to the view all the historic sites. I constantly try to pick her out when I pass the trolleys but never have spotted her. Today I was downtown passing through for some appts. One of them was a salon appt for a trim.(I havent' been for 4 mos and decided to go for it) Well... I saw Heidi standing on the street corner waiting for the tourists to load onto the trolley. . Her hair was in a braid to her knees. WOW.. I cancelled my appt.!! When I got home I told my husband how odd it was that I saw Heidi today of all days and that when I saw that braid I decided to hang on to all the length I have right now. He said he owed Heidi a huge thanks. He doesn't even want me trimming at this point. So.. you aren't the only one dealing with a husband who wants long hair! Cher~
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andy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote andy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 2:47am
Hi Mary,A couple of points here:One: I agree with Kyrsha - ITS YOUR HAIR. Ultimately what you do with it is up to you. Sure, ask his advice and take an interest in what he thinks, but at the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right for you.Two: Somebody (I can't remember who) said that most men don't think they will like a short style on a woman they know with long hair, until they see it. I reckon there is a lot of truth in this.live long (or short ) and prosper Andy :-)>
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Diane View Drop Down
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Andy,I cannot believe that you as a man would telll a long hair woman to do what she wants at the end of the day concerning her hair. Where is your passion for long hair?Most men happen to love long hair . Here we have someone that spent a lot of time growing her hair for a very good reason and now for whatever reason she thinks that having short hair will make her happier. It won't.It beyond my understanding unless you happen to be a short hair lover and not a long hair lover. I can't tell you how many emails I get from men saying they fantasies about running thier fingers throught my hair and here we have the opportunity to point out to Mary the beautiful reason why she wanted her long in the first place. Hell if someone want to jump off a cliff would you just say" whatever makes you happy?"Really Andy wake up and save this long hair woman. Where is the long hair passion in ytou ?> Hi Mary,> A couple of points here:> One: I agree with Kyrsha - ITS YOUR HAIR. Ultimately> what you do with it is up to you. Sure, ask his advice> and take an interest in what he thinks, but at the end> of the day you have to do what you feel is right for> you.> Two: Somebody (I can't remember who) said that most> men don't think they will like a short style on a> woman they know with long hair, until they see it. I> reckon there is a lot of truth in this.> live long (or short ) and prosper Andy :-)>
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Diane View Drop Down
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Mary you tell me that you are married to the best guy in the world . Well that best guy in the world loves you very much. When he thinks of you he thinks of your eyes, your voice, your walk, your touches. He also thinks of your beautiful hair and how he probably loves it messy in the morning and he can't wait to come home to you. It would be a huge crime to cut your hair because he is not asking for much in life. He loves your hair. You are taking a huge risk in cutting it because it might give him a strong message that you don't love him enough to have kept something that he treasures about you. He is a long hair lover. Do you realize how many emails I get from men that has this fantasy about running thier fingers in my hair. Mary wake up please because some on those men are married to short hair women and they are emailing me because their wife didn't care enought for them to grow their hair or they cut it and the husband is devastated.Its a very small gesture to do in your marriage. So many marriage are in trouble because we ignore the passion and we have this attitude about what one can tell us and not tell us what to do.I am talking from my heart to you as I can't stand the fact you will make this huge mistake. It has nothing to do with hair but everything to do with a tiny request from your husband. You need to remember that those creators are from Mars and we are from Venus. He is trying to tell you that he loves you the way you are and please don't change. Now Mary your husband can spoil you and take you out etc. When we ruined the small important things with our mate in life things do downhill quickly and we end up having a divorse becuase the other person didn't care for our feelings. Your husband will be very hurt and will remember that you didn't care enought for him to keep your hair. YOu have the change to stop this. If your hair is so unmanageable maybe its the shampoo, or the conditioner. Go and buy something more expensive that is better for your hair. Heck get the husband to pay for it and he will since he wants you to keep your hair.If you allow him to be more involve it will bring you both closer. Remember Mary he is from Mars and you are from Venus. I remember a pyschologist telling me that men and women are so diffirent in their thoughts as diffirent as a cat is to a dog. That is how diffirent we are. Your husband loves you Mary. Wouldn't it hurt you if he took away something that you treasure about him?> Don't get me wrong, I am married to the best guy in> the world, but we disagree when it comes to my hair. I> complain a lot about my hair, which is naturally curly> and just below my shoulders, dark brown and very> healthy. It has been this length since we met and my> hair had grown to my waist by the time I cut it off> when I was 18. I've tried layering it and wearing it> straight for a change, but it's just not managable and> I just want something new. I would love to try a> short, layered cut, something with a lot of volume and> body, but whenever I say I want to go to the salon and> whack it all off, my husband groans. I know he doesn't> think short hair is feminine, but I'm not talking> about a buzz cut! Anyone have any advice?
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You'll get lots of discussion on this one here! The first and most important thing to remember is that it's *your* hair, and you have to live with it. You always have the right to make the final decision about your own hair (well, once you reach adulthood, anyway, which is obviously true in your case).That being said, I think considering your husband's wishes is also important, up to a point. I get the sense that his main concern is that you won't look feminine with short hair. There are plenty of ways you can look feminine with shorter hair - consider your cothing and so on. It doesn't even have to mean a major change; little details can make a big difference.As far as reassuring him that it is possible to look feminine with short hair, you have a few options. You could try having one of those "virtual makeovers", where your picture is altered on a computer to show how you would look with different styles. You could look at a book of styles, and show him a few that you would consider. (If you're going to look at a book, I'd highly recommend _388 Great Hairstyles_ by Margit Rudiger and Renate von Samson. It has cuts for all lengths, with different styles you can do for each cut, and lots of very feminine short styles. I bought it to get ideas for styles to try on my (long) hair, but if I were ever to cut it, this is the book I would take to the appointment to explain what I wanted.)How much does your hair bother you? If it's a major issue for you, a short cut might be a good idea. If it's just an occasional annoyance, you may want to reconsider. If you really don't mind, keeping your hair long for someone else is a viable option. My hair is to my waist now. I originally began growing it out from chin length because my husband (to whom I was not yet married then) asked me to. I agreed, with the condition that he would not give me a hard time if I found it too irritating and decided to cut it - I would grow it only as long as it didn't cause me too much trouble. This isn't the right choice for everyone, though.One more thought - you say your hair is to your shoulders. I've always found that to be the most problematic length of all, because it's too short to really put up and have it *stay* up, but it's long enough to get in your way. You might want to consider going a little longer rather than shorter. It's amazing what a difference 2 inches or so can make.Whatever you decide to do, make sure your husband knows his opinion is important to you. Reassure him that you're aware of his concerns, and try to involve him in the process if you can. In the end, it's *your* hair, and your choice.Laura Janelswanson@sunflower.bio.indiana.edu
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> I say, if you want to give short hair a try - go for it!!! It's "just" hair and it will grow back if you don't like it! I have had mine long and short. My husband prefers it long but he still loves _me_ with short hair! Go for it!!! Someone earlier said that sometimes shoulder length hair is a pain - too short to put up and gets into your collar when down - I agree there...it's sometimes hard to get it past that length. But look at Sharon Stone, Anne Heche they both look terrific with short hair!!!
Heather
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andy View Drop Down
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Wow, I sure raised your ire there Dianne,My point is just that people control their lives, make their own descisions and have their own right to decide how they look, they are not bound by other's opinions of how they 'should' look. Please note that for many years women's lives were governed by the dictates of society (including long hair for women)not by their rights as individuals.I am neither a 'long hair' or 'short hair' lover, I am a lover of people's rights to freedom: the freedom to feel that they are able to make choices for themselves. At the end of the day Mary is a thinking, independent person in her own right, and must make her own choice as to what she feels will suit her. YOU feel that long hair is right for you, fine; if Mary feels that short hair is right for her, also fine.I just don't want to see women back in the situation where they have to consider what pleases men, not what pleases them, about their appearence.
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Diane View Drop Down
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>Okay Andy I also agree to the freedon of choice but I have two very important points in this case.I see another side to this more the freedom of choice.. I read a message from Mary that says she had long hair for a whiile. That tells me that it was very important to her one time in her life and that it took years to grow. I guess we are all diffrent with our thougths but for me to be sincere with Mary would to remind her of her passion . We sometime forget our passions in life because of stress and we sometime need to be reminded. Not be told to but reminded and that is what I called being a friend. She is asking for help.Sometimes we do drastic things because we are bored, stressed frustrated and we deeply regret it later. I don't know how many times I have heard from women that tell me to never cut my hair because they made a mistake in cutting theirs'.The other important point is that I read that Mary's husband is desperate because he loves her the way she is . Love is very precious and rare . It shouldn't be tossed out by the attitude of choice. It is very clear to me that her husband is a true long hair lover and that is very important to him and he treasure his Mary with her long hair. Its very normal to treasure something in our mates and when they take something that we treasure our romance dies. I felt you missed all that.I do understand that you only seen one side. I hope that you now understand there are many sides. Mary is not a simgle woman. She is a woman that that is loved by her husband and in a marriage we do things to please the other person and vice a versa. Yes its important to be our own person but we must also find room in our hearts to keep the romance of the marriage alive. I fear that her husband's heart will be so broken as he wish for his love for his wife was not honor. That is also extremly important.Its vey easy in life to say to someone do whatever you want but its not so easy to be a real friend to someone. Sometimes we have to go out of our way to kindly remind that other person that we care and we are helping them to remember their passion in life.. I care for Mary and her marriage. Idon't know Mary but I see other sides. I am very much a peson that is very sincere and caring for the human race. I think this attidue that its always our choice has a hell of lot of responsiblities to it. Sometimes that attitude distroyed the most beautiful marriages etc.A marriage consists of two people and she might not have thought that their arguemnent really meant in his words that he really loves her and the long hair is very much included.I am so surprised that the man's feelings is often ignore in all this.What happen to the need of pleasing the mate?Wow, I sure raised your ire there Dianne,> My point is just that people control their lives, make> their own descisions and have their own right to> decide how they look, they are not bound by other's> opinions of how they 'should' look. Please note that> for many years women's lives were governed by the> dictates of society (including long hair for women)not> by their rights as individuals.> I am neither a 'long hair' or 'short hair' lover, I am> a lover of people's rights to freedom: the freedom to> feel that they are able to make choices for> themselves. At the end of the day Mary is a thinking,> independent person in her own right, and must make her> own choice as to what she feels will suit her. YOU> feel that long hair is right for you, fine; if Mary> feels that short hair is right for her, also fine.> I just don't want to see women back in the situation> where they have to consider what pleases men, not what> pleases them, about their appearence.
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Mary, if this man is the best guy in the world, it shouldnot matter what your hair style or hair cut is. He wouldlove you for you not your hair. Just take time and lookat pictures and books on hair, and then decide on what todo. Also ask for his opinion, but also listen toyourself on this. Only you know what you want.
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After reading all of the responses I thought I would provide my own male (and probably politically incorrect) viewpoint.I love long hair on women. I suspect many men feel this way. I am single, but if I were married to a woman with long hair I would want her to keep it long. If she cut it off anyway I would feel hurt. I would wonder why such a simple thing as keeping her hair long was too much to ask. I would also wonder if my opinion mattered at all to her.Your husband may feel the same way, or he may be indifferent about it. I don't know. What you need to decide is how important pleasing your husband is to you.Someone else said that if he is so wonderful he'll love you no matter what you do. Frankly I don't think any of us have a right to expect that kind of love. If cutting your hair is going to result in his feelings getting hurt it will affect your relationship.I don't know why long hair is so important to some of us men, it just is.Robert
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"I want to cut my hair, I don't know what to do, Will he love me still?"For goodness sakes. Will you please talk to your husband and ask him just how he would feel if you came home sporting a new wash and wear easycare do? Make sure you let him know how much he means to you, and how much his opinion means toyou. After all is said and done, its your hair, your head and your happiness.If he had shoulder length curly (frizzed) hair in the morning; would he take the extra 30 minutes needed to style it pretty for his coworkers, boss, or wife. I DON'T THINK SO! He'd whack it off himself with a kitchen shear. I don't care how much he likes your hair he is being a jerk if he wants you unhappy over his pleasure. Besides, He'll get over it. Hair grows. I think a man that is threatened by a woman reinventing herself once in a while is a insecure brat. What he is afraid of is being married to a dykey woman who never takes care of herself and her looks after the cut. Ithink you too can work this out together. You don't need us.Rich
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> "I want to cut my hair, I don't know what to do,> Will he love me still?"> For goodness sakes. Will you please talk to your> husband and ask him just how he would feel if you came> home sporting a new wash and wear easycare do? Make> sure you let him know how much he means to you, and> how much his opinion means toyou. After all is said> and done, its your hair, your head and your> happiness.If he had shoulder length curly (frizzed)> hair in the morning; would he take the extra 30> minutes needed to style it pretty for his coworkers,> boss, or wife. I DON'T THINK SO! He'd whack it off> himself with a kitchen shear. I don't care how much he> likes your hair he is being a jerk if he wants you> unhappy over his pleasure. Besides, He'll get over it.> Hair grows. I think a man that is threatened by a> woman reinventing herself once in a while is a> insecure brat. What he is afraid of is being married> to a dykey woman who never takes care of herself and> her looks after the cut. Ithink you too can work this> out together. You don't need us.Halleluia Rich! (Although that was a bit harsh...)Talk to your husband and figure out how important it is to him, versus how important it is to you. Let him know your concerns and listen to his and follow your concience. You know your husband and your marriage and your hair better than we do and you know better than we what sacrifices you both have made and will continue to make to build a strong marriage.You have the power to make the right decision.-jennifer j
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Rich,First, I do agree with you on the key issue here in that this concernshould be discussed, to whatever extent necessary, between husband and wife.However, I've just gotta add a few comments to some of your statements...> ... a new wash and wear easycare doMy hair is quite long and I can (conceivably) walk out of the shower and go.I have done this a few times. Okay, so I like to spend a minute or two tocomb it out after washing it. To me, that's "easy care."Since I like long hair, a short "do" is a "don't." Just my opinion.> If he had shoulder length curly (frizzed) hair in the morning;> would he take the extra 30 minutes needed to style it pretty for> his coworkers, boss, or wife.Men and women are not exactly alike. Just because some women choose to"style their hair pretty" doesn't mean that many men will do the same.I am sure that there are some things that men choose to do that SOME womendon't understand (like "why the obsession with being an avid spectatorof sporting events?").I am certain that there are husbands who do things for their wives purelybecause their women enjoy or appreciate it, and for these men, these gesturesare a reflection of their love for their women. I know. I've been there.> I DON'T THINK SO! He'd whack it off himself with a kitchen shear.That's a pretty graphic visual. And it paints a picture of an uncaring manunwilling to do something for his wife that may please her. I'm not sayingthat this issue is THE thing that a spouse can or should do for their partner.But the reaction you paint is one done from that which is not kind considerationor love.> I don't care how much he likes your hair he is being a jerk if he wants> you unhappy over his pleasure.Your first three words pretty much sum up your attitude.Let's put the shoe on the other foot. A person who shows no considerationto their partner's feelings is a jerk.> Besides, He'll get over it.He would be forced to deal, but he may or may not "get over it." Of course,his preference so easily dismissed paints a not-so-positive picture in hismind of how much she cares about him.> I think a man that is threatened by a woman reinventing herself once in> a while is a insecure brat.I think a man who doesn't at least try to understand why his wife wants toreinvent herself is not aware of how she feels or what she's thinking.Time to reacquaint himself with his wife.> What he is afraid of is being married to a dykey woman who never takes> care of herself and her looks after the cut.Really?! And just how did you come to learn this from her husband?? I shouldthink that your snide remark will elicit some negative feelings from some.And you talk about other people being jerks...Dave
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RichI am challenging your comments. You are walking down the street and you come across the most beautiful woman of your dreams. YOu marry her and you look forward everyday seeing her. ONe day you come home and she did something that you treasured so much about her and you happened to talk to her a while back and it ended up being an argument because the beautiful lady of your dreams didn't understand how important she was to you in the whole package. YOu are going to tell me that you wouldn't feel betrayed?Somethiing happen in my life and the male in life threw away something that I treasued so much about him. It affected our relationship very deeply because he didn't care enough .I never got over itIts common sense to make to please the other person.Love is very rare Rich. Get that thought in your head because the topic is more than hair in this case.> "I want to cut my hair, I don't know what to do,> Will he love me still?"> For goodness sakes. Will you please talk to your> husband and ask him just how he would feel if you came> home sporting a new wash and wear easycare do? Make> sure you let him know how much he means to you, and> how much his opinion means toyou. After all is said> and done, its your hair, your head and your> happiness.If he had shoulder length curly (frizzed)> hair in the morning; would he take the extra 30> minutes needed to style it pretty for his coworkers,> boss, or wife. I DON'T THINK SO! He'd whack it off> himself with a kitchen shear. I don't care how much he> likes your hair he is being a jerk if he wants you> unhappy over his pleasure. Besides, He'll get over it.> Hair grows. I think a man that is threatened by a> woman reinventing herself once in a while is a> insecure brat. What he is afraid of is being married> to a dykey woman who never takes care of herself and> her looks after the cut. Ithink you too can work this> out together. You don't need us.> Rich
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote David Justin Lynch, Esquire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 2:49am
It is because of the kind of thinking stated in this message that our society has divorces and domestic violence. I mean, the idea of that, if you are in a marriage, you do what you want, and to hell with your partner. If you are single, wear your hair as you choose, and live with the consequences, which will be that some men will choose not to date you or do busines with you. It is their right to do that just as much as it is your right to wear your hair as you choose. But if you are married, the rules change. You have an implied in fact agreement to consider your husband's feelings in your decisions about your hair, and everything else. The idea is to find a man whose feelings agree with yours. But absent that, you have a duty to consider his feelings, period. No one is going to be your husband with the expectation that you do what you wish and to hell with how he feels. A relationship isn't just for your purposes. It is about caring for and nurturing your partner, and that goes BOTH WAYS.DAVID> i say that you do what you want to do. does your> husband get his hair cut the way you want it? if so,> you have no room to do anything. but if he doesnt, its> your hair! do what you want with it! maybe you should> just do it. dont tell him, just go get it done and> suprise him. if its what you want to do, thats all> that matters. your husband should love you, not your> hair. and if he likes it better long, thats fine. but> if you want it short, cut it off. i guess thats just> the way i see it. whenever anyone comes into my salon,> thats what i tell them. be true to yourself before a> husband, a lover, a spouse, or a boyfriend. unless> they get their hair cut how you want it, you should do> what you want with yours.
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Rich View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rich Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 2:49am
> Rich,> First, I do agree with you on the key issue here in> that this concern> should be discussed, to whatever extent necessary,> between husband and wife.> However, I've just gotta add a few comments to some of> your statements...> My hair is quite long and I can (conceivably) walk out> of the shower and go.> I have done this a few times. Okay, so I like to spend> a minute or two to> comb it out after washing it. To me, that's "easy> care."> Since I like long hair, a short "do" is a> "don't." Just my opinion.> Men and women are not exactly alike. Just because some> women choose to> "style their hair pretty" doesn't mean that> many men will do the same.> I am sure that there are some things that men choose> to do that SOME women> don't understand (like "why the obsession with> being an avid spectator> of sporting events?").> I am certain that there are husbands who do things for> their wives purely> because their women enjoy or appreciate it, and for> these men, these gestures> are a reflection of their love for their women. I> know. I've been there.> That's a pretty graphic visual. And it paints a> picture of an uncaring man> unwilling to do something for his wife that may please> her. I'm not saying> that this issue is THE thing that a spouse can or> should do for their partner.> But the reaction you paint is one done from that which> is not kind consideration> or love.> Your first three words pretty much sum up your> attitude.> Let's put the shoe on the other foot. A person who> shows no consideration> to their partner's feelings is a jerk.> He would be forced to deal, but he may or may not> "get over it." Of course,> his preference so easily dismissed paints a> not-so-positive picture in his> mind of how much she cares about him.> I think a man who doesn't at least try to understand> why his wife wants to> reinvent herself is not aware of how she feels or what> she's thinking.> Time to reacquaint himself with his wife.> Really?! And just how did you come to learn this from> her husband?? I should> think that your snide remark will elicit some negative> feelings from some.> And you talk about other people being jerks...> DaveDave, a well thought out and lucid argument. I was too harsh and graphic. Oh, well I'll try to be more caring next time. Its just that this went on,and on and on . . .I fatigued, what can I say? Sorry.But hidden in your response I'd like to point out a flaw and a possible solution at the same time. I called no-one a jerk, you see. The shoe had to fit first. And secondly the description for this hypothetical man would be (by my own definition) a "jerk". So don't take that personally. The attitude manifests itself in many ways. And women are turned off by it. Finally you brought up the issue of spectator sports and addiction and not understanding, etc.Maybe a compromise is in order? If I can get permission to cut my hair from you I'll allow you too (fill in your own answer here)Stay cool,Rich
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rich Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 2:49am
> Rich> I am challenging your comments. You are walking down> the street and you come across the most beautiful> woman of your dreams. YOu marry her and you look> forward everyday seeing her. ONe day you come home and> she did something that you treasured so much about her> and you happened to talk to her a while back and it> ended up being an argument because the beautiful lady> of your dreams didn't understand how important she was> to you in the whole package. YOu are going to tell me> that you wouldn't feel betrayed?> Somethiing happen in my life and the male in life> threw away something that I treasued so much about> him. It affected our relationship very deeply because> he didn't care enough .I never got over it> Its common sense to make to please the other person.> Love is very rare Rich. Get that thought in your head> because the topic is more than hair in this case.Right on! And what man wouldn't want that kind of unselfish wife. And what kind of women wouldn't want that kind of unselfish husband? I could only hope that a love like the one you described would run a little deeper. Giving room for personal growth or the room to make a mistake. After all, I'd hate to have to write a new ending to "The Gift of the Magi". Perhaps a hair "prenuptual agreement" is in order for some. . . She didn't seem all that selfish in her original post though, don't you think your being a little too fatalistic? I think they'll work this out. =)
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