Hair Disaster(s)

I am all thumbs when it comes down to my hair. I can't style it, I don't know what products to use, I can't even put a relaxer in my hair without calling my mother. (I'm 23 by the way)So as you can see my hair isn't exactly "healthy". Over the past few weeks my hair, as you might guess, is falling out. Personally I don't want to look like shinade O'conner, it's too cold where I live to go bauld. But on the other hand I don't want to spend two hours everyday just doing my hair. I have more important things to do.My mother says it's just too dry, I disagree. With all the goop and slime I put in my hair I can't see how that's possible. If you can give me some tips and pointers, or even product information I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!