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Forum LockedI got butched and I'm devastated!!

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Jena View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:42am
I had long beautiful blonde hair. The ends truly were getting thin and did need a good 3" trim. The night before my appointment, I was afraid I'd chicken out at the salon, so I trimmed it myself. It was so thick and luscious that I cut more. And more. And more. And more. I almost couldn't stop -- it was like I was possessed.The next day I walked into the salon with a scarf. After my horrible hack job, I ended up with a style that is completely shaved on the sides and shaved up the back. After people get over the shock, most people love it.However....I HATE it!! I have no rational explanation for my little fit of self-destruction. I feel that a good part of my sexuality was cut off.My question: I want to get hair extensions because I desperately miss my long hair. However, I also want to keep it healthy to grow. How much damage will highlighting it do? Also, how much damage will hair extensions cause? I'd like to do both. I want it to grow but I have to have it great-looking now, as well.Advice for long-haired ladies contemplating short: Do it in *stages*. That way if you change your mind, you've probably only lost a few inches which will grow out a whole lot easier than losing 16 inches. {sniff}An odd note, though: I do not like the look at all. I prefer a longer, flowing feminine type of hair. However, I hate to admit this, but I like the feel. Especially the shaved back. It's kind of sensual and yes, feels a little sexy. But then when I see my hair in the mirror, I hate the look. Am I completely nuts to have this love/hate relationship with a short haircut!?!Also, if anyone has any experience with hair extensions (I'm white and my hair is naturally blonde and wavy), I'd really love to her from you -- thanks!!
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hmm View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hmm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:42am
> I had long beautiful blonde hair. The ends truly were> getting thin and did need a good 3" trim. The> night before my appointment, I was afraid I'd chicken> out at the salon, so I trimmed it myself. It was so> thick and luscious that I cut more. And more. And> more. And more. I almost couldn't stop -- it was like> I was possessed.> The next day I walked into the salon with a scarf.> After my horrible hack job, I ended up with a style> that is completely shaved on the sides and shaved up> the back. After people get over the shock, most people> love it.> However....I HATE it!! I have no rational explanation> for my little fit of self-destruction. I feel that a> good part of my sexuality was cut off.> My question: I want to get hair extensions because I> desperately miss my long hair. However, I also want to> keep it healthy to grow. How much damage will> highlighting it do? Also, how much damage will hair> extensions cause? I'd like to do both. I want it to> grow but I have to have it great-looking now, as well.> Advice for long-haired ladies contemplating short: Do> it in *stages*. That way if you change your mind,> you've probably only lost a few inches which will grow> out a whole lot easier than losing 16 inches. {sniff}> An odd note, though: I do not like the look at all. I> prefer a longer, flowing feminine type of hair.> However, I hate to admit this, but I like the feel.> Especially the shaved back. It's kind of sensual and> yes, feels a little sexy. But then when I see my hair> in the mirror, I hate the look. Am I completely nuts> to have this love/hate relationship with a short> haircut!?!> Also, if anyone has any experience with hair> extensions (I'm white and my hair is naturally blonde> and wavy), I'd really love to her from you -- thanks!!
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Jade21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jade21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:43am
Hi, Jena.I read your story and I just wondered why you would do such a thing to yourself. You say yourself that your actions were extremely self-destructive. What's the point in growing it out if you may do this to yourself again? Think about why you may have hacked your hair.A friend's daughter of mine, who is 7, did the same thing to her hair which had grown substantially and which she ostensibly adored. She was a little girl who was tortured by some of the words of some of her playmates. That's why she picked up the scissors and hacked away.As a general note, it's much easier to trim split ends off your hair a bit at a time. I have trimmed as much as 4" off, but that was when my hair was in bad, bad shape. Check the mirror periodically for splits.Bye for now,Jade21I had long beautiful blonde hair. The ends truly were> getting thin and did need a good 3" trim. The> night before my appointment, I was afraid I'd chicken> out at the salon, so I trimmed it myself. It was so> thick and luscious that I cut more. And more. And> more. And more. I almost couldn't stop -- it was like> I was possessed.> The next day I walked into the salon with a scarf.> After my horrible hack job, I ended up with a style> that is completely shaved on the sides and shaved up> the back. After people get over the shock, most people> love it.> However....I HATE it!! I have no rational explanation> for my little fit of self-destruction. I feel that a> good part of my sexuality was cut off.> My question: I want to get hair extensions because I> desperately miss my long hair. However, I also want to> keep it healthy to grow. How much damage will> highlighting it do? Also, how much damage will hair> extensions cause? I'd like to do both. I want it to> grow but I have to have it great-looking now, as well.> Advice for long-haired ladies contemplating short: Do> it in *stages*. That way if you change your mind,> you've probably only lost a few inches which will grow> out a whole lot easier than losing 16 inches. {sniff}> An odd note, though: I do not like the look at all. I> prefer a longer, flowing feminine type of hair.> However, I hate to admit this, but I like the feel.> Especially the shaved back. It's kind of sensual and> yes, feels a little sexy. But then when I see my hair> in the mirror, I hate the look. Am I completely nuts> to have this love/hate relationship with a short> haircut!?!> Also, if anyone has any experience with hair> extensions (I'm white and my hair is naturally blonde> and wavy), I'd really love to her from you -- thanks!!
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:43am
What does "troll" mean? My post is sincere. To the message above, I didn't just immediately go from long to short. I'd cut a couple of inches off, and it felt so thick compared to what it was before. Then, I thought, well, just another inch. I simply got carried away with what I was doing. I hadn't changed my hair since, I dont know when! I'm 31 and I've always had long hair down my back. Occasionally I'd cut off 3 or 4 inches and although it seemed drastic at the time, I now know what drastic really is!! I guess when I was doing it, I kind of wanted to know what I'd look like in short hair but was scared to let go of my long hair.I also had a lot of stress at that time and I was tired and it was late at night, so that probably didn't help either.But if anyone has any information on the effects of hair extensions, I would really appreciate knowing about them! I was told that the salon uses "Great Lakes" hair extensions (real hair, not synethetic) and they're both bonded and braided. I want the extensions, but not if they're going to really hurt my hair now and when it grows or prevents it from growing.Help, please!
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Laura View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Laura Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:43am
> What does "troll" mean? My post is sincere.> To the message above, I didn't just immediately goI am not the person who posted the above message. But, I see a common thread to this post and the one mentioned as a troll alert earlier about a swimming question...they both have people talking about cutting their hair short and seeming to encourage it in some way. Is that what you mean, troll-watcher?Laura
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:43am
Going from long to short is just too drastic for me. I just mentioned that if someone is thinking about a huge change to do it gradually -- that way if she changes her mind, she'll have only had a few inches cut instead of several!Actually, I read that other thread, as well. And as a person who has gone through this, I find it hard to believe that she really liked it! However, I also do think that we all feel differently about our hair. I've had friends who didn't think a thing about going from below shoulder length to a real short cut -- in fact, they enjoyed not having all that hair. I always liked my long hair and simply got carried away one evening, and believe me, I wish I could turn back the clock! But to keep myself from a complete breakdown, I have to tell myself that it's just hair. And, unless I find some evidence that the hair extensions will hurt or slow down the growth and health of my hair, I'm getting long hair in three weeks!!I think a change in hairstyles is good. A drastic change, however, is just too much of a shock for me personally. I keep combing my back when there's nothing there! It kind of feels like my hair is in a bun, except that I can't take it down!> I am not the person who posted the above message. But,> I see a common thread to this post and the one> mentioned as a troll alert earlier about a swimming> question...they both have people talking about cutting> their hair short and seeming to encourage it in some> way. Is that what you mean, troll-watcher?> Laura
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JerkyFlea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:44am
First a quick definition: "Troll Alert" usually refers to a post made by an individual (usually a male purporting to be a female, but not always) describing some traumatic hair disaster or asking if someone would like to or have suggestions for cutting their hair in some exceptionally short or severe style.Those of you that have seen "posts" from "PenPals" at the correctional facility know exactly what I'm talking about.Anyway, here are the reasons that I think the alert was raised:> It was so thick and luscious that I cut more. And more.> And more. And more. I almost couldn't stop -- it was like> I was possessed. A woman who went through such and experience would be highly unlikely to describe her hair as "luscious". And unlike the 7 year old described by Jade, unless there was some sort of psychological condition like schitzophrenia, uncontrolled hacking is also unlikely.> The next day I walked into the salon with a scarf.> After my horrible hack job, I ended up with a style> that is completely shaved on the sides and shaved up> the back. After people get over the shock, most people> love it. The would be where the extreme style enters the picture. Since unless the wild cutting the night before left bald spots, then the shaved style described would be unnecessary. Plus, it ends with the typical pronouncement of the result that the new style is generally loved.> However....I HATE it!! I have no rational explanation> for my little fit of self-destruction. I feel that a> good part of my sexuality was cut off. This is where it gets iffy, since usually the "troll" poster proclaims their love of the new style as well.> My question: I want to get hair extensions because I> desperately miss my long hair. However, I also want to> keep it healthy to grow. How much damage will> highlighting it do? Also, how much damage will hair> extensions cause? I'd like to do both. I want it to> grow but I have to have it great-looking now, as well.> Advice for long-haired ladies contemplating short: Do> it in *stages*. That way if you change your mind,> you've probably only lost a few inches which will grow> out a whole lot easier than losing 16 inches. {sniff} Again, this section raises legitimate doubts as to a possible troll post.> An odd note, though: I do not like the look at all. I> prefer a longer, flowing feminine type of hair.> However, I hate to admit this, but I like the feel.> Especially the shaved back. It's kind of sensual and> yes, feels a little sexy. But then when I see my hair> in the mirror, I hate the look. Am I completely nuts> to have this love/hate relationship with a short> haircut!?! And then most of those doubts are shot by the "love/hate" section here, based on my original definition.> Also, if anyone has any experience with hair> extensions (I'm white and my hair is naturally blonde> and wavy), I'd really love to her from you -- thanks!! Again, back to the doubts since the thrust of the post appears to be about hair extensions to correct the problem.So, do I think it was a troll? Don't know, but there are definite red flags that would prompt someone to raise the alert.As usual,JerkyFlea
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:44am
If I were outside looking in, I might get the same suspicions. I honestly think that I was just reacting to a lot of stress in my life. Sometimes when we feel out-of-control, we grab onto something that we can control. Again, I didn't just cut off pieces of foot-long hair. It was kind of like, "Let's be daring and go just one more inch...."People who don't believe me will believe whatever they will. I'll certainly admit the writing style was a bit odd, but unfortunately, it really happened.Oddly enough, most people do react positively to it. I certainly don't love it, but I don't wish to be miserable so I just try to forget it!
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:44am
Since you have a hairboutique address, and if you give me your word you will not post them or show them to anyone, I would show you a picture of me before and after the "massacre" {sigh}
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Blink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:44am
What is the correctional facility and what are the reasons for trolls posting something so obscure? Thanks
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:44am
> Going from long to short is just too drastic for me. I> just mentioned that if someone is thinking about a> huge change to do it gradually -- that way if she> changes her mind, she'll have only had a few inches> cut instead of several!> Actually, I read that other thread, as well. And as a> person who has gone through this, I find it hard to> believe that she really liked it! However, I also do> think that we all feel differently about our hair.> I've had friends who didn't think a thing about going> from below shoulder length to a real short cut -- in> fact, they enjoyed not having all that hair. I always> liked my long hair and simply got carried away one> evening, and believe me, I wish I could turn back the> clock! But to keep myself from a complete breakdown, I> have to tell myself that it's just hair. And, unless I> find some evidence that the hair extensions will hurt> or slow down the growth and health of my hair, I'm> getting long hair in three weeks!!> I think a change in hairstyles is good. A drastic> change, however, is just too much of a shock for me> personally. I keep combing my back when there's> nothing there! It kind of feels like my hair is in a> bun, except that I can't take it down!I will say "troll" cetainly got what she was looking for. ATTENTION! Let's get back to serious questions.
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JerkyFlea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:44am
> Since you have a hairboutique address, and if you give> me your word you will not post them or show them to> anyone, I would show you a picture of me before and> after the "massacre" {sigh}Send away! If they are legit, they I'll vouch for you here on the board. Wouldn't want anyone to falsely be labeled a troll.JFRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
3 pm is simultaneously too late and too early to start anything.
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Kelly F. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kelly F. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:45am
Hi Jerky, gosh I learn something new everyday on the good ole' Internet. Why on earth would someone do something like pose as a woman on a hair message board? Are people really that moronic? All I can say is GEEZ! This person needs to get out more. Kelly F.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:45am
> Hi Jerky, gosh I learn something new everyday on the> good ole' Internet. Why on earth would someone do> something like pose as a woman on a hair message> board? Are people really that moronic? All I can say> is GEEZ! This person needs to get out more. Kelly F.Three words: Major hair fetish.JFRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
3 pm is simultaneously too late and too early to start anything.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:45am
Hi folks,Jena sent me her "before" and "after" pics and she appears to be legit. The cut she ended up with isn't nearly as severe as you would gather from her description, but is definitely shorter. It's essentially an earlobe length bob with the sideburn area shaved. And, as she said her friends said, it doesn't look bad at all.Anyway, the troll alert is hereby cancelled. :)As usual,JF
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Holly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2000 at 4:46am
> Three words: Major hair fetish.> JFI guess fetish is not the word to be using these days! (Just kidding-but if you saw the trouble I got into for mentioning it-and who hasn't?-that explains it all!).I should've just pressed ????? and let it go at that.Well, you know, hindsight is 20/20. Sigh.
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N/M
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