QuoteReplyTopic: Cut & Perm Posted: June 18 2002 at 6:30am
Hi, my name is Anna, I`m 37 years old and live in Southern England. I have reasonably long hair that reaches my bra strap.
My Great Gran is not a fan of long hair and as a result has been nagging me for years to have my hair cut short and permed. Her view is that now I`m a married adult woman, I should lose the "little girl" long hair and adopt a more mature short & curly style.
Although her nagging has always been in fun and she has never been nasty or put me under pressure, about 10 years ago I conceeded that one day she might get her wish and I promised that if she reached a 100 years old, I would attend her birthday party looking very respectable with short curly hair.
Unfortunately, due to poor health, it looks highly unlikely that we will be throwing that birthday party and I`m now in a quandry. We are travelling to London to visit my Great Gran at the weekend to celebrate her 98th birthday and I`m wondering if it might be nice if I had my hair done. My "Nana" has been the most wonderful person in the world to me and I would love to bring a great big smile to her face by presenting myself to her with as she`d describe "a neat little head of short curly hair". Although it would have been really scary, I would have kept my promise and done it for her 100th, but should I do it for her 98th?
I have spoken to my husband and although he thinks the style that I would go for is very conservative and would probably make me look a little plain, he says that he supports me in what I want to do. I am 98% sure that I should do it, but would really appreciate peoples comments on what I should do and what the experience is likely to be for me as I`ve never had my hair cut short or had it curly.
Hmm sounds like you are in a bit of a bind. One thing that you could do, is get your hair permed really tightly so that it looks like you`ve got reasonably short(er) hair.
Rachel A
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Hi Anna, I don`t think I would get a perm. Perms are after all permanent. Why not instead go for a stylish chin length bob with the back cut slightly shorter. Have the stylist show you how to roll your hair for curls. You could have the stylist even roll your for a mass of curls and the next morning you could simply wash your hair and remove the curl. Since you`ve always had long hair I think it would be a mistake to go shorter and perm at the same time. At least take a deep breath and do it in steps. If you liked the curly look then you could go back for the perm later once you`ve adjusted and gotten use to working with you new shorter look. Keep us informed and Good Luck. Rachel
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
Keep in mind a perm is what its advertised to be, permanent, it`s best to cut your hair and then curl it and then if you want the perm, you can always get it later, that way she can see you curly and you are not stuck if you don`t like it. But if your hearts in it, go for it, after all its only hair and it does grow.
wozziewoo
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I think I have to agree with what everyone has said. I`d go for the short hair. Around chin length or so. Wait & see how you like it, & give yourself some time to get used to it, then if you wanted to try the perm. It will be easier to handle the change & learn how to style/deal with the change if it is done one step at a time.
I just wanted to say a big thank you to you all for your help and advice. I’m afraid that I went against most people’s advice and yesterday went and had my hair done! After much thought I concluded that as my Nana doesn’t have a great length of time left I’d better act quickly. As if I were to say my last goodbye to her with my long hair in tact I would feel that I had let my Nana and myself down. By then it would be too late and rather than possibly regretting having cut my hair, I would end up definitely regretting that I had not cut my long hair off. This would be terrible and would probably lead to me disliking myself AND my hair. With these thoughts in mind, my quandary was over and it was off to the hairdressers! I wasn’t scared in the slightest as I entered the hairdressers with my long hair (although you’d think I would be) as by this time I no longer wanted my hair, it was strange because although I loved my long hair, I just wanted it gone! I explained to the hairdresser about my promise and that I wanted a style that would be considered conservative and respectable by my Nana. The hairdresser was very good, she didn’t try to talk me out of it but merely commenced cutting off and then perming my hair into a style my Nana would approve of. I left the salon looking very different to the way I entered. I felt quite naked as I faced the world for the first time minus my long locks, which had been replaced with my now very conservative short curly hairstyle. The fashionable long haired me was no more, she had been replaced with the new prim and proper me, I definitely had a “neat little head of hair”, just as my Nana had wanted. I can’t say that I like my new look. I definitely miss my long hair and I don’t look or feel as pretty without it. I think I look older and having been given such a conservative style, I do feel like I’ve become rather plain and dowdy. That said, my husband has been really supportive and my mum loves it. Most of importantly, the smile that I received from my Nana as I presented myself to her with “my neat little head of short curly hair” was the most wonderful smile I’ve ever received and confirmed to me that I’d done the right thing. Do I miss my long hair? Yes. Do I regret having it cut short and permed? No. Do I like looking and feeling like a Plane Jane? Not really, but right now I wouldn’t want to look any other way and I will retain my conservative short curly hairstyle until I’ve said my final goodbye to my Nana, which I hope won’t happen for a very long time, by which time I may have got used to it and decided that I like it. Thanks for reading and your support, Anna.
Rachel A
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Ok...Anna, I`m happy it turned out for you. I admire your courage and sacriface. I am especially happy that your husband is so very supportative. It shows you must have a strong and loving marriage. I hope when I get married to find someone as loving as your husband. My Daddy is a lot like your husband. My maternal grabdfather has alsztimers (spelling was never my strong point) and my Mom is always having to check or be there for him. My Daddy always supports her and will even have supper cooked when Mom gets home. The good thing about hair is it has a wonderful way of growing back. I had a spiral perm put in my hair after much , much encouragement from my Mom in May of 2001 then in December I cut my hair chin length with slighly shorter in the back. I just couldn`t take the curls anymore and it took too long to straighten everyday. Lately I`ve been letting the back catchup with the front and now my hair is a 3 inches below my chin. I`ll probably grow it to about just below shoulder length. Anyway, I`m happy you made your Nana Happy.
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
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