Etiquette For Hair At Wedding?

You know, that's a really good question. Yes, advice columnists say guests should avoid white (though last summer I attended a wedding where all the bridesmaids wore white) but I don't think there's any written rule on hairstyles. Are you a guest or in the wedding party? I don't think every person on the invitee list is assumed to know what style the bride will wear, so it's probably OK to wear it how you want.

Besides, a "curly updo" can look vastly different on different people: you can have a side/center/no part, big loose curls piled high or shiny little pin curls, tendrils coming down or no tendrils, flowers/rhinestones/barrettes or none. I don't think you should knock yourself out worrying over this one, unless you know the bride would be devastated if someone came within 10 curls of her prized hairstyle :-)