Long Hair over 40

Alisa, you go girl!! Good for you; you know what you want even with the obstacles. I also know what I want, and that entails hair that is now 6 inches shorter. I didn't make this decision because someone told me my hair was too long for my age (although my mom will usually tell me that I look better with shorter hair). I am not having any regrets right now; I am sure on my first bad-hair day (and it happens no matter how long--be honest) I will hate my hair. Right now in the honeymoon phase, I love the length.

Live long the confident person in all of us!!!

I agree, all the commercials are telling us we have to try to be younger, but they tell us that not only because they are playing on our desires to remember fondly our younger days, they also just want to sell their product and their using it as a tactic.  I don't think its right that people who just want to convince us to buy their product get to decide to perpetuate this idea.  After all, its the commercials we are constantly barraged with, and its those that we remember when we look in the mirror or think of "how we should be".  The rest of the media / fashion follows along with it, but I think this should change, as its really nothing more than age discrimination!  All people should be viewed as equals, older people should not be so discriminated against by the media so much.




Edited by Susan W - February 08 2007 at 6:54am

Personally, I have always wondered about the motivation that makes a person grow their hair extremely long. Sometimes I see the before and after pictures posted and think the person's hair looked healthier shorter. I have never looked routinely to see if that person had finer type of hair; maybe that is the case. Certainly, hair thins out as it grows longer (of course, I never could reach that length myself); so Lisa, you may have made an good observation. If someone has thin, fine hair, will it look good in extreme lengths no matter their age?

Well, if your hair is fine and normal thickness, you are lucky. You probably don't have to do too much with styling to make it look good. I have thick, wavy hair that requires a lot of handling to get it to look presentable. I have a lot of people compliment me on my hair, but they are usually people who have stick-straight hair. I guess it is one of those things where you envy what you don't have. I've always wanted straight hair, and straight hair people want wavy, curly hair.

I know someone who can wash their hair and not even do more than comb it out afterwards, and it will be perfect. I wish I could do that. Of course, as I have aged, I have noticed some changes (besides graying) in my hair. I don't remember my hair being as frizzy-prone back in the day as it is now, and back then, we had less products to control that kind of thing. Funny, now that I think about it.

Of course it is dry, and I have tried everything out there. The best for me is less washing; in fact, the dirter my hair, the better it behaves. Whereas everyone here hates silicones, I love them for their ability to control my hair. I've tried the homemade products, but sorry to report, nothing works as well on my hair as the products sold in the stores except using honey with my conditioner rinse. Honey does actually make my hair softer, but it also makes it wavier. Wavier is not what I usually want. The things that work for me are the things I used in the past (like way past years).

The best thing about my hair is that it is so forgiving. Whereas you have to be gentle with your hair, I can be less careful, and it will not accumulate into damage.

I once had a female professor in her late fifties, with hair slightly below classic length.  She wore it in a single braid down her back every day - it was very inspirational to me; she was beautiful.
I think that long hair actually makes people (of any age, race, or gender) look younger.  The ability to grow it long is a sign of good health, and good health in old age is a sign of vitality.  So maybe they don't necessarily look younger, rather...they look like they are thriving, rather than withering away. 
It is also very beautiful that you can see someone's life in their hair almost...it has grown, day by day, with them.  Sort of like seeing the stump of a tree with many lines, it only makes it more fascinating. 
I'm sorry if this is veering off-topic, but it's the same with greying hair, in my opinion.  I can not explain why, but I've always thought that older women who dyed their grey hair only end up looking older. 
I fully intend on having a waist-length (or longer) silvery ash mane when I age.  (And my poor children will have to visit me at my nursing home every day to oil it and cut out my split ends and braid it....just kidding) :)

Yes Lisa, I have tried CO washing and just about everything else talked about on here. I have gotten great tips, but mostly the alternative washing methods just don't give me the results that I want. Most people who CO use lighter conditioners, and guess what, lighter conditioners are just a waste on my hair type. That is what I mean when I say "the usual advise on these sites do not work on my hair." I am the definitely the "anti" on everything usual.

Astarte, grey hair is one of those things that can be startling for someone. The problem with grey hairs is that they don't behave like your normal colored hair. They have a mind of their own, and sometimes stand out because they seem to want to show off or something. I choose right now to not cover the grey because with my red-brown color they almost look like hightlights. I could change my mind as they increase in numbers. I can remember thinking when I was younger that I wouldn't dye my hair due to greying, but you never know until you are faced with the fact. The other reason is that I don't like the upkeep involved with covering the grey. The less I can do to my hair the better I like it.

Then again, some may be wondering why I keep it long at all. Well, here rears up the lazy part of me: Long hair is still easier to manage than short hair!!!
With short hair, you have to wash and style much more except the really short styles. I like being able to pull my hair back into a pony or french braid it when I don't want to be bothered. The best thing about it is that the dirter it gets, the better the french braid thing works--easier to get it up and keep it up. So Viva the long hair woman in me even closing in 1/2 a century (oops, gave the age away--memory slips too).

       Hi PKJ! Since you are happy with your decision, I'm happy! (lol) Your original posting sounded melancholy to me, and many women over 40 I've chatted with in person have betrayed plenty of insecurity about hair length. I'm glad you're among those who are confident in your hair choices.

Edited by Bob S - February 08 2007 at 2:48pm

I had to go back and read my original posting to see what you were referring to, Bob. I can not see it myself. If I do sound anything, I think it is just resolved. Like I stated in further postings, I still have long hair; it just isn't extremely long any more. My decision to trim 6 inches was not due to pressure about my age. I was looking for a length that is more manageable for my lifestyle. I don't personally think long hair ages a person, but how they wear it can. I was struggling daily trying to style my longer hair.

In my opinion, most guys like longer hair on women anyway. Hasn't it always been the romantic look that guys most want? You know the "he-man" wrapping the hand in the long, flowing locks of your woman. Be honest. I would say that at least 7 out of 10 men surveyed would say they like longer hair on a woman. So the real question could be, do women grow their hair long in order to hold on to their youth?

Anyway, if I lived in NE Pa, I would want the longer hair just for warmth. It's so cold outside even in the southeast.

Who's from NE PA? That's where I am and you're right PKJ, my long hair is warm! My ears freeze when I put it up or in a french braid!!! Also PKJ wanted to agree with you that I'm one of the few that likes cones. Our hair must be similar. My hair is very forgiving also. It's almost BSL and I've yet to find a split end. I've really never found one in all my years. I don't abuse it but I use a hair dryer once in awhile and a curling iron sometimes.