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Is it wrong to curl my son's hair?

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Sharyg11 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sharyg11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2007 at 6:50pm
Yeah, turn your son into a crossdresser. Children don't have enough identity problems today!!!
 
I think this person wanted to have a girl.
 
Wanting to curl your son's hair is one thing. But dressing him as a female is borderline abuse. My nephew's have been raised to love and respect women and we didn't have to dress any of them as females.  They are very young but believe me, they have learned.
 
If a grown man wants to dress as a female, then that is his choice. But imposing that on a child because that is your "idea" of how to teach them to relate to women is just ridiculous.
 
If my mother or father had dressed me as a boy to "teach" me how to relate to men, I would have sued them as soon as I was of age.


Edited by Sharyg11 - October 01 2007 at 12:21pm
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Jenny-B View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenny-B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2007 at 10:52pm
Hmmmm.  I'm thinking that there's no reason to get all worked up here. 
 
That post seems like a tranny fantasy to me. 
 
It's hard to tell sometimes, but I think that this one is pretty clearly BS.  I do apologize if I'm wrong here, but........
Jenny B.
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Sharyg11 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sharyg11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 28 2007 at 12:33pm
You know what? I think you're rightLOL
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TMortis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TMortis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 29 2007 at 5:20pm
I hate it when they start this fantasy about making little boys into girls for school, or a play, or something else. Leave the kids out of this place. 
Tommi
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ald_fld Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 14 2007 at 11:42am
Well, yingyangmom, what did you decide to do? These posts tell you everything from letting him dress as a girl all the way to forcing him to have a marine cut, its seems.
 
aldfld
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lickalime Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2007 at 10:34am
Originally posted by TMortis TMortis wrote:

I hate it when they start this fantasy about making little boys into girls for school, or a play, or something else. Leave the kids out of this place. 
 
aren't you the guy who was asking about men wearing skirts?
I am at 32"
~goal length 36"
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TMortis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TMortis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 22 2007 at 6:35am
I think that if MEN want to wear skirts, OK-
Tommi
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lickalime Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 27 2007 at 3:36pm
boys/men should dress like boys/men and girls/women should dress like girls/women
 
leave the curling and skirt wearing to the girls
I am at 32"
~goal length 36"
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TONETTE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TONETTE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 14 2007 at 2:13am
The importance is that the initial question should be: Should I curl my CHILD'S hair?  As most parents balk at perms and sets for children.  They opt for fads or styles that are preferential to peers and friends.  Most kids like many of their own Mothers, have no idea what curlers are or what they might do for their own or their off springs. Introducing it to them in as much privacy as is possible and making it as natural and accepting as they possibly can.  Just do it and dont worry about what other people think.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote owenocs Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 14 2007 at 7:20am
Of course it is not wrong to curl his hair, the important thing is does he want it or you. It does not matter what sex the person is I thought we had given up on that in this day and age and all the rubbish about turning into a cross dresser just because someone wants to look smart and tidy is quickly forgettable. I am normal hetrosexual whose Mum permed my hair for the first time aged 5, not my coice at that age, but it did not change my feelings or development neither will it your sons. if he wants it go for it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trilophile Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2009 at 7:12am
Jenny, Traci, I wanted to answer you.
 
I can tell you what happened with me, because what you're asking for is a long term answer, right? Will this be ok in the long run or no. I'm in my 40s. I can answer for me, and you all can see what you think.
 
My mom always wanted a girl. She had five boys. I was the last. Like Nathan I had long blonde hair. It was curly though, and light, and shiny. Women would stop and coo at the grocery store, pet, and it wasnt long before all the attention I got was from women who loved it, just like some of you all. Dad was distant and hostile, very 50s male. Hair and curls were associated with comfort, men were associated with growls and hostility. 
 
So it occured for a family picture that mom curled my hair and got me two tone patent leather shoes, and a little sailor outfit. Longggg blonde curls cascading down my 3 year old neck, never been cut. Carefully trained, and painfully suited to the day. It was really something!  Dad was upset, and I got cut the next week.
 
So in grade school because of the conflict I tried desperately to tame it by putting a stocking cap on wet hair at night, however, mom would take it off at midnight, and even if I was successful at avoiding her, it turned into flat pin curls, which my grandmother adored when we stayed over. I had to have my stocking cap. It was futile. Curly girls know how frustrating it is to get them to go the way you want. 
 
And I began to realize again how amazing blonde curls were in high school, but still, having them was delicious, conflicted and forbidden. It was kept short until I knew how fascinating hair was, and in grad school I grew it out, living on my own, with little money. I experimented with color, going lighter mostly, but sometimes light brown or strwberry. That was tremendously fun.
 
Mostly for that time of experiment with myself though there were curls. Irons, big rollers, siliconizing things to straighten it, 5 inch boar brush, hot air....I could make it as straight as I wanted, or swoopy like Marilyn. Like other guys I ponytailed it, and would also french braid. It was tamed that way, and it would come out at night into fantastic waves. I got good. It was really wonderful actually. I played guitar, I became sensitive again.
 
A few things came of this trend.
 
First, I became fascinated with hair. I worship hair. I love it. I want to pet it all the time. I am good with it. Someday maybe I'll get a license to cut. In the strip joint for bachelor parties I even ask the ladies /not/ to take off anything, just please sit with me and rest while I pet their hair. Most oblige. This is brave of me, and they always ask a second time if I'm sure, so it must be really rare to them. Most think thats odd. I dont care.
 
Second, lots and lots of women rejected me. They dont understand like some here do. I've been told I had "amazingly little chemistry as a guy", am 'boring', etc, however this is always from straight hetero women in the archetypal gender roles. Many times, I would let the urge to be feminine go until they would discover the stash of hair toys, and then, overnight, they would completely dry up to me and we would be over. Its simply not exciting to most. This has been extremely hurtful and painful. Its not that I'm unattractive, either, over six feet, a marathoner with good 200 pound chest press...I'm handsome and many have said so, to be honest.
 
Third, I have sensitivies that are shocking to most women. I notice clothing, and style and smells. Its fascinating. I know how long it takes to prep for a date. I know hair colors and treatments, and all the relevant straightening and curling. Its so much fun. I understand, I'm easy to relate to. This has caused more crushes than I care to admit, but usually by needy misunderstood women, and not the smart pretty high functioning ones.
 
Last, I really have to watch this. People are fascinated by it, but a lot also have hostility and judgment. Its dangerous. You can get your tail beaten if its not halloween, for the way you present yourself. Even killed, if you live in Wyoming. Its dangerous. I cant underscore this enough. Women have left behind skirts a long time ago, but men cant have long blonde flowing curls. I will, as I expect, get abuse for this, but I dont care anymore, because clearly those people dont care about me. I have come to trust a few wonderful women with it. Its private. Whatever people believe should or shouldnt be, society cant deal. Thats the reality. No one wants to see it, thats my impression. 
 
So I give you this: If a boy wants to, make sure he understands whats at risk. I for one and completely envious of Nathan, I want desperatley to be him or meet someone like you, and I sit here shaking at the keyboard after reading this thread. Salons and curls and long hair are wonderfully fantastic things. I wish wish wish for it for myself, but it will never ever happen. My hairline is receding and that time is over. For now, I'll live in my regular job, with my regular haircut, wearing regular clothes, and make me way in this world just fine. I have a great job and things work fine as long as I dont rufle the feathers of perennially conservative business owners.
 
Why do you all want to do this to boyfreinds? I would suspect that if any guy wanted it, or asked for it, the draw from you could instantaneously go away. Then he would not be as male, he would be truly effeminate. I also suspect that its only fun if theres some complaining on his part.  Is this so? Just curious. Please answer.
 
I cant help but tell you how brave these guys are to let you at them. There more amazing that way than girls know. They dont know how much it takes. Thank you all for understanding that.
 
C
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TONETTE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TONETTE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 10 2009 at 1:06pm
I'm 58. so many older readers may have some personal understanding with my former plight.  As a young boy, from ages 5-11, my mother curled my hair with numerous home permanents and I was taken to a beauty shop where the Owner cut, conditioned and set my hair with pincurls to rollers in those 5 years, and kept my shortish blonde hair and instructed my mother on how to care for it at home. My mother favored Toni so she picked Tonette Little Girl's permanent for me; my neighbor favored Lilt for herself, so she pushed Lilt Party Curl for my hair. My grandmother used Nutri-Tonic for herself and purchased N-T for girls for me. My mother also put Rexall Fast for little girls as it was a cheaper budget permanent and Quick for girls for my hair early on.  Until age 9, all my permanents were 'self neutralizing', which meant wearing the curler rods all day or night, and THEN having my hair set, and my mother who had a quirk against  heat with my hair, only let me use her bonnet portable in emergencies, so I spent hours almost daily and at night with my hair set, unable to play as I watched the kids in our front yard and felt bitter and in misery as even my brother older by 3 years, who wore his hair short and never had his hair curled joined with them.  I never was given a salon wave in the beauty shop and I felt humiliation and embarrassment with the permanents, the lotion application causing me to cry, wheeze, and be in complete agony through the process.  I dont feel that my mother wanted a girl, but wanted to do something for my 'rats nest', "to see what it would do" for my hair, because she always said I "needed" a permanent like a child 'needing' glasses, making me feel that my hair was 'bad', and unless she spent time with it, doing as she did, I wouldnt be accepted. As a boy, I felt sissy and girlish, although I had no idea what those words even were, taken from rumor and tales told from what I heard.  There was no excitement, joy or 'wanting' it done. The boring and time wasting winding and waiting for my hair to dry-to get me out of the curlers, caused me to spent lots of time in my room listening to records, doing homework and reading. It wasnt until a hair dresser when I was a teenager gave me a Body Wave without curl, that I was able to understand and feel some excitement, especially when I sexually matured.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Daisy :) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2010 at 10:38am
I have a 9 year old son just has the most gorgeous long blonde hair, almost at his waist. He goes to a mixed school and absolutely loves the attention from the girls when I curl his hair.
          He asked me to have his hair curled last year, so I did it for him at the weekend. Then he came shopping with me to test it out, and I couldn't believe how many people looked at him. Virtually none that I could see. Has society changed for boys now, is it finally accepted? Although maybe it was because people thought he was a girl. Ah well. I never knew how far he wanted to go with his hair so I only ever tied it up in a ponytail for school.
         But now I have realised he loves having his hair done, I tie it up every day in many styles and I think all boys love it to some extent.
         He now has his hair tied up all the time for school now. Usually Its a french braid now, but sometimes pigtails or high ponytail. Though when it comes to special occasions, such as weddings, my mum comes round to dress him up in adorable skirts and dresses but I insist that this is probably too much for the little guy so instead we tie the back into a sock bun. The abuse and bullying does come, I have to admit. And the teachers have had to get involved.
           He never complains and I strongly hope you curled your sons hair because it gives you and your son, some mother and son time, which not many mothers or boys get. The overall point is stop as soon as he does not like it or the bullying increases. That, I think, can never be fully stopped.
 
Daisy


Edited by Daisy :) - June 29 2011 at 2:08pm
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jackieg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jackieg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 26 2010 at 5:36pm
To start off I am a happly married man, when I was young I had longish hair and my sisters were always tormrnting me to plat or braid my hair, over time this developed into getting me to wear dresses and shoes and stuff, I didnt like it and presently have no inclinations or desires to dress in female clothes and am by no means a crossdresser, but I dont think there is anything wrong with a guy wearing womens clothes.
 
We dont accept it because society dosent allow it, it wasnt so long ago when women couldnt vote, because society didnt allow it?? and that was way more serious than a guy wearing a skirt or what ever else he wanted, that deprived a woman of a a basic human right.
 
Womens clothes surely are not frightening for a guy to wear is it that bad for a guy to put on a pair of his wifes nylons a skirt and heels silky top and not be afraid to be seen in public??? answer yes it is because society dosent allow it!!??? The way I see it women have developed so much better than men as 100 years ago a woman would not be accepted in society if she wore a pants but guys they were confident enough to defeat the so called morals of society and not alone wear a trousers but mens shirts shoes...the works!!
 
Some women still think females look better in skirts and shouldnt ever wear pants and some people coment and say skirts are not for men! yes but also there are some women that dont look good in a skirt and should never wear one...... like wise yes som men would not look good in a skirt but Im sure thee are guys out there that a skirt would look really good on them.... but if another guy sees a guy in a skirt and thinks it suits him surely we have developed enough that he would think he is gay for thinking that??? we have to open our minds and grow up a little bit... there are only clothes  
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