different toners for blonde

Can someone please tell me the different toners for blonde hair?  I had my highlights touched up at the root last week and the toner looks a little ash to me.  I asked the girl about it and she said that gold would be too dark for me.  We actually never used toner before - just achieved a nice caramel blonde from just the bleach - but she has since had to use toner because I had someone else wreck my highlighted hair and put to much dark in it.  Also my length is not as bright as my roots, but my hair dresser said that to make it lighter - it will get drier and possibly more splits.  Couldn't she just put a 20 volume through the length for a few minutes to bring the color closer to the root color?  It dosn't look bad - I just know what my hair used to look like before the color was wrecked.