women with short hair, and men

jeez, this is NOT a secret.

men like women who look like WOMEN.


if it takes more explanation than that...

men respond almost instantly to visual stimuli. a woman`s long hair is an acute sexual cue, and you don`t have to take her clothes off to check it out.

healthy long hair is beautiful, feminine, youthful, sexy and relatively rare. and it is just so wonderful to run your fingers through it.... especially if your fingers come to the the end of it at someplace really nice. :-)

short hair is ordinary, androgynous and ubiquitous. and decidely UN-youthful. our MOTHERS have short hair, ya know??

once cut, how many women ever grow their long hair back... especially after they`re married? men consider a woman`s hair as something fundamental to their attractivness, not merely a fashion accessory to be changed at whim.

and guys just don`t like change. especially change for the worse.

Hello Lina:

Please keep in mind that comments on the board doesn`t represent what everyone feels. If you would look around and see how people feel on the streets etc you would certainly find tons of men who love women with short hair. I personally don`t think that short hair or long hair on a woman makes a woman more feminine or younger but I would think her style would say a lot about her personality which makes life a lot exciting.
YOu have ever seen Victorian`s pictures? For whatever reasons there are lots of those pictures around showing women like models with very long hair. Strange heh? Almost everyday someone emails me a pictures of the Victorian times and it always made me wonder why women tend to tie their hair and yet there were lots of pictures showing women looking romantic with long hair. Does long hair or short hair make a women more romantic looking or younger? I would think that answer is in the eyes of beholder. I think that to some men long hair tends to bring something mystery like there is more to see but that is a guess.

I posted a question expecting enlightenment, not a callous, "what a stupid question" sort of reply. "Jeez, this is not a secret" and "if it requires more explanation that that" coupled with the bluntness of your response (long hair makes a woman look like a WOMAN, long hair makes a woman look younger) promotes debate at the irrelevance of your response. What about in other cultures/eras when both men and women had long hair? I urge you to agree that long hair is considered feminine in those instances.

I continue to pose this question. What is it that closes men`s minds against any form of short hair, especially one which exposes the universally feminine aspects of a woman`s body.. which can be found in her face, not her hair. It`s not the supposedly "femininity" of the hair that is the nature of the question, but the ingrained status quo.

See, I do agree with Jeffrey`s response. Yes, obviously people have varying opinions, and I acknowledge that.

But aside from the one small comment "Men don`t like change" I still haven`t had anyone respond to what I`m really trying to get at.. Not the fact that some men prefer long hair, or any sort of rationale behind that, but why they are so opposed to short hair. I like chicken, but you don`t see me running around yelling at people not to eat beef, or making disgusting faces when someone presents me with a steak.

The reason this entire debate enrages me is the first responder`s sexist attitude toward women`s hair. It would have been respectable for him to respond "I like long hair because it is very feminine" but just the use of such tones as "Jeez, it`s not that hard to figure out... men like women who look like women" and subsequently I needed to point out that a WOMAN should not be defined by having long hair. As someone else pointed out, more or less, a woman is defined by who she is inside, not what she looks like. But still, I feel that, even appearance-wise, it is not necessarily the hair that makes a woman, as I succeeded to point out in several examples.

So what is the huff? This just brings back 1960s university-style protesting on feminism. That a woman who looks different from the accepted societal standard is unattractive.

The argument really isn`t restrained to women. Men`s hair, to a lesser extent, is a topic of debate. Like most women, I like men with reasonably short hair. Long hair looks scruffy, while shaved heads are creepy. It`s all about association.. if I see a man with waist lenght unkempt hair, I`ll tend to think he`s a bit of a rebel.. probably some metalhead. 10 years ago, a man with a shaved head would look like some sort of gang member, or other socially unaccepted type, but now, with musicians, actors, and athletes sporting the style, it has come into acceptance. Yes, you will hear wives and girlfriends begging their mates not to shave their heads, or whining about them getting a haircut when it gets long and straggly. But you rarely hear the "if you cut your hair we`re through" sort of attitude that men exuberate.

Control? I think so.

Diane, I absolutely understand what you`re trying to get at.
But in your response, you still add to my point.
You said "Change is the process of accepting others". Which brings me back to my original, yet unanswered question. What is it about some boyfriends, like mine, who refuse to accept change? Who appear disgusted at the thought of their girlfriend trying out short hair? Isn`t change a part of living? And learning? If cutting her hair short is a mistake, isn`t it beneficial for the woman to make this mistake firsthand, so that she can learn from it? Someone not respecting such a trivial choice made by their mate shows that they are not accepting of their mate. So why do seemingly giving men suddenly freeze up and revert to caveman possessive tactics on the proposal of a haircut?

Lina,
You pose the question relating to mens` closed minds regarding short hair, then go on to deride their possible reasons for liking it (hankering for childhood, frustrated sexuality)... I ask, just what is it you actually want?
I also feel a certain amount of "pigeon-holing" going on here, not all men have closed minds about short hair. Personally I love it, and not for any reasons you have given. Perhaps you are going through a bit of a "downer" on us males?

I have short hair (not through choice - it was damaged beyond repair) and I am desperately waiting for it to grow. Some women look fabulous with short hair but others, like me look awful. I really notice the difference in attitutes between the 2 lengths - I was always considered quite pretty with long hair and feel invisible with short. I also look about 10 years older. Its a sad fact that most men seem to prefer long hair, and makes women like me feel lousy. However, I am lucky as my partner wouldn`t care if I was bald, he is not swayed by external appearances, but I suspect he is rare.

Lina,

I love long hair and I can not explain more deeper why it is so. It`s a kind of feeling that appears if I see a long haired woman and this has been very persistent over a long time. I think I like the beauty of the long hair and I am impressed that women can let it look so nice, something that is hard for me to learn for my own long hair in this life.

It was always very difficult for me to find a long haired woman in reality for a friendly relationship, why in this civilization they are very rare. So I try to defend long hair against hair cuts why I think it makes the outer appearance of the world I live in only more poor as it already is.

My argumentations are only based on feelings I have for long hair and I want to explore this and I am curious what long haired women think about themselfes. My special sight of view implies the choice of the websites I participate and from that I know that in some cases women had cut off their very long hair and have regret this for a long time and often a hair cut occurs in view of social pressure and missing encouragement for long hair.

From all of my activities I conclude that my feelings are not only an individual crazy thing (as my family is assuming about me) and I try to find people to share this, and I have found them.

If I think that encouragement for long hair is needed I try to do it, but I am not interested to make short haired people feel bad or to make them down. The most women I know from work have short hair and with some of them I had good "vibrations". Nevertheless, I think my admiration for long hair isn`t a bad thing that I have to be ashamed of, and I had discussions with short haired women about the hair topic. The outcoming was that we respected our different opinions and there was nothing wrong between us.

I don`t know how I would react in a love relationship with a long haired woman if she will decide to cut it all off. I think this depends from the inner quality of the relationship and I know some men who admired the very long hair of their wife and suffered personally from a hair cut but have accepted it later on and the relationship hasn`t got a break in love.

wolfgang

Yeah.. I don`t know. I can see the "getting personal" basis behind the opinion.. Women are notorious for their indecision and unhappiness about their appearance, so I can see men wanting to avoid that (especially if they`re the shoulder that gets leaned on!) Plus, if you`re happy with the way something looks, you can be wary about changing it, in case it gets ruined. I think that`s essentially what`s true in my boyfriend`s case.

However, I have heard of other men (or women) being more possessive than that.. threatening a breakup over a haircut.. I guess it`s a good way to tell your mate isn`t such a great person, after all. I just find it funny that my boyfriend, who is generally a very openminded and accepting person would be so opinionated over hair.

Oh well. :) If I get a haircut, and he hates it to the point of breaking up, then obviously it`s one of those instances of your mother saying, "At least you find out how immature he is now instead of it coming out later, when you`re married".

hubby was reading this over my shoulder and came up with two words:

Lady Godiva.

Makes you think, doesn`t it? I think society propetuates the whole long hair = sexy mess. Just like men shouldn`t wear pink because it`s not masculine. It`s all opinions. some ppl look good with long hair and some don`t. some look awesome with short hair and some don`t. If my significant other is going to threaten to leave me if I cut my hair, he is with me for the wrong reasons in the first place.