Hey Mystic. Good to hear from you again. How is your own hair-related saga going on? Still growing out that hair and is your wife liking it?
Thanks for the style suggestion. I wasn't familiar with that actress either but she does have great hair. I checked out some of the pictures on the web site and it does seem to follow the long-layered theme I've been gravitating towards, although her cut seems like it may be less dramatic than #7744 (which could be a good thing). She looks like she has her hair curled in most of the pictures I saw which obviously ups the feminine quotient quite a bit, but the bf could probably very easily sport the non-curly version in public without embarrassment. A very good suggestion indeed.......
Have you seen Kate Mara's hairstyle? I was watching the movie "Shooter" last night and thought you might like her hairstyle. It seemed to me to be similar to the style #7744, which is still my favorite of your original suggestions.
I looked at pictures of Kate Mara in the gallery here, but they really don't do her style justice compared to the look in the movie. There are some screen captures at this website: http://katemarafan.com/
And actually the pictures right at the homepage there look pretty good.
Just so you know, I had no idea who Kate Mara was before last night. I actually had read the book by Stephen Hunter that the movie was based on. Not a bad movie, really.
Keep us posted.
Mystic
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Well, nothing really interesting to report other than that I brought up the subject of Nathan having his hair done a couple of nights ago when we were hanging out. The good news is that he seems cool with the idea of getting something a bit more stylish again. As I mentioned at the beginning of this thread, he seemed pretty cool with the idea before--almost excited at some points in time--but the momentum sort of died out, mostly because I didn't want to weird him out, so I just sort of didn't bring it up for a while. But it appears that I have some momentum again.......
So now I'm more or less back to my original question: which style? You guys have given me some good ideas and opinions (though I'm certainly open to new ideas!!) now the challenge is a) to pick the style, b) to get him to give it the OK, and c) to actually get him to sit down in front of the stylist.
I also gave Kara (my stylist) a call and mentioned it to her again. Actually, I really called her to set up an appointment to have my own hair cut next week, but I mentioned Nathan and she said that she was still pretty keen on working with his hair again so I think we're going to grab some coffee after she finishes my hair and talk about it. I'm bringing my laptop and I'll show her some of the styles we've been bouncing around here. I'm sure she'll also have some ideas of her own. And I let her know about Nathan's rule about him being able to look like a normal guy with a ponytail, so she'll be picking some styles with that in mind. Of course, she's made the comment a few times that his hair is too nice for the simple long, straight style he currently wears, so I'll have to make sure that she doesn't get carried away. The blind leading the blind!!
Anyway, I guess the reason I posted this update was just to say that something will probably transpire soon. And to see if anyone else had any suggestions for styles that I should bring to the conversation next week. So if you have some good ideas, fire away!
And a couple of you have asked about the whole updo thing that I mentioned a couple of times. Well, the quick answer is that I don't really think I'm going to pursue that. The simple reason is that this hairstyle business is probably strange enough for my poor BF and I don't want to completely traumatize him. While he lets me do a lot of things with his hair, he's been very wary about anyone else seeing him with a girlie do. He's let a few of out friends braid his hair or put barrettes and clips in it. He let me and my friend Amy do his hair one night recently when we were drinking at her house. And then once when his stepsister came to visit (again some alcohol was involved) she said his hair would look great curled and I mentioned that I'd curled it a few times (understatement!) and then we both ganged up on him until he gave in and we attacked him with two curling irons at once. But all of those situations have been pretty private with people we know really well. So even if Kara would volunteer to come over to my house to do Nathan's hair, I'm not sure he'd be cool with the updo thing. So I'm not going to push that issue.
Anyway, I'll keep you updated. And give me some ideas if you have them!!
Edited by Jenny-B - July 12 2007 at 1:00pm
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You definitely need to increase the pressure if you really want to do this.
Have you asked Kara over so she could do his hair in the privacy of your own home? Your boyfriend may be much more comfortable with that and let her do some updos.
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I DEF think its time for you to start putting on the pressure again!!! Why dont you just bring it up and tell him that Kara brought it up and is interested in doing it.. Then start talking styles so you can at least get an idea of what he would be open to..
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I've had very long hair for several years now and have been thinking about a change (but I still want to keep most of the length). Some of the styles you listed are great.
Hey SS! Thanks for the response. Is that your hair in your signiture (I'm assuming that it is)? Very lovely. A girl like me would go crazy over that! So you're thinking about some of these same styles huh? Hey, more ammunition to use on the ol' bf --at least one or two other guys are interested in having nice hair!
Sunsailing wrote:
#17361 - That wouldn't be much different than the blunt cut he has now. It would look exactly the same in a pony. This would be a good gradual approach to later styles.
#3782 - I've always liked this picture. I think I could do something like that.
#7744 - I would love to have that cut and style! It would be great to actually have a style. I wonder what it would look like pulled back?
Seems like we're of pretty much the same mind about those styles. The first two are pretty conservative layered styles that really won't be too different that his current cut and I could probably get him to go for that pretty easily.
#7744 is just simply lovely. I'd love to get him to do it. Actually, after looking at that picture again, I saw down at the bottom that the girl in the picture is JoJo--a teen pop star of sorts. I'd heard of her but didn't really know much about her (teen pop not really being my thing). But I looked up some pics of her on Google to see some of her hairstyles. Wow! She has some amazing hair in some of those pictures. And the thing is, her face shape seems to be similar to Nathan's so he'd probably look good in most of her styles. But I think telling Nathan that I'd be basing his hairstyles on a teen pop queen would patently not be a good idea. I'm thinking that I'll at least have to tell Kara (my friend and stylist extraordinaire!) about the JoJo thing. I'm sure she'll find that amusing and may find some good ideas if we ever do manage to talk my BF into getting a real style.
Sunsailing wrote:
Here's another one you might want to consider for your BF. What do you think?
I like both of those, though I think I like the first one better. It sort of falls along that same long-layered theme. Although one of the key elements to that first style are the great highlights and I'm pretty sure Nathan would not go for having his hair highlighted! But both styles look sorta unisex and could look right on a stylish guy or be a nice girl's cut. Kind of reminds me of some of the 80's metal guys' hair whenver they didn't have it all teased out.
Sunsailing wrote:
Have you at least had your stylist/friend come over to have fun with an updo? It sounds like you'd both have fun with it.
Nope. Haven't done that either. The only contact Kara and my BF's hair have had has been in the salon where she works and he hasn't really gotten more than a trim except for getting that blunt cut. And the blunt cut has grown on me a bit. It's very sleek and pretty when it's all brushed out. However, Nathan and I did run into Kara at one of the bars that we go to pretty freuqently and ended up sitting with her for a while not too long ago. I was hoping that maybe she would bring up the subject of doing Nathan's hair but the only comment she made about his hair was that he should take it out of the ponytail he was wearing b/c it was too pretty to not show off. But that was it.
I've done some updos on him myself a few times, but I'm not particularly skilled at the art of the updo. So I can't manage much besides a French roll or just using the curling iron and then pinning parts of it up. It's fun, but I'd like to see him with a real professional updo, like he was going to a prom or wedding or something (God, he die if he saw that last bit!).
But I'll keep you guys posted. I'm still confident that I can get him to go for a new style. It's just that the momentum has sort of died down from when I initially sat down and began this thread. Maybe it's time for me to put some pressure on again!!
I've had very long hair for several years now and have been thinking about a change (but I still want to keep most of the length). Some of the styles you listed are great.
#17361 - That wouldn't be much different than the blunt cut he has now. It would look exactly the same in a pony. This would be a good gradual approach to later styles.
#3782 - I've always liked this picture. I think I could do something like that.
#7744 - I would love to have that cut and style! It would be great to actually have a style. I wonder what it would look like pulled back?
Here's another one you might want to consider for your BF. What do you think?
thanks jenny for the reply. As u said we enjoy our hair even though there is no conscious effort to bend the gender rules. In fact, when my wife wanted to have my mousch and beard shaved off, i thought for a while and then said yes. This was when my son went to school and both of us were alone. She shaved my beard and mousch and experimented my hair with a lot of feminine styles. Initially i was a bit reluctant but then i took it sportingly and enjoyed the process too. Imagine a guy with a long hair almost upto the waist and without mousch and beard and with all possible feminine hair dos. My goodness i could not beliieve the way by which i got transformed in my looks. The hairdos ranged from braids, ringlets, two pigtails and plaits. Actually i rarely use hair clips or hair pins, except in the week days to keep my hair secure because of my day job. But she experimented my hair with a variety of clips and actually to be honest i was more comfortable with the clips than without it. In fact i would also like to tell u that i dress her hair almost daily.
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I know how you feel Mystic. I went for a 'trim' and next thing you know I could have joined the Marines. Seems like no matter what you tell them they have their preconcieved notions of how a guy should have his hair. i have read some awsome comments in here about women who enjoy helping their guy look the way they want. i just want to say that those guys need to thank their lucky stars that they found such a woman.
As far an a pedi is concerned, my wife says yes to it today no tomorrow paints my toes the next day and instsits I take it off the next. I have been talking about getting an earring and that is just plain 'NO".
So how is the hair growing going mystic? Is your wife warming up to it at all? If your wife has dragged you with her for pedicures and the spa treatment, I'd be surprised if she wouldn't appreciate you having longer, prettier hair. It's a good thing I don't know your wife. I'd tell her that next time she drags you out for a pedicure that she needs to make sure that you come back with those toesies polished !!
Thanks Jenny B for the reply.
The growing out is.....well going slowly. My wife is kind of funny. Some days she thinks I look good with the longer hair and is up for going to get pedicures and such, and then other days she just wants me to have the same spikey fade haircut I sported forever. At her request, I got it trimmed 3-4 weeks ago more than I would have liked. It was getting shaggy again and probably needed to be shaped a bit, but the stylist pretty much whacked off all of the hair around the sides and back. I was ok with a little trim around the bottom, but I wanted to keep the length on the top and continue letting it grow out in a bob. It was going fine, until she started "blending" it. So I was not too happy leaving.
Actually, my hair is about where it was before it was cut. My bangs go down to about the middle of my nose, about 4 inches, and that is pretty consistent with the top of my head as well. But, just above my ears and the nape have only recovered to about 1-1.5 inches. I guess I didn't give they stylist a good idea about what I really wanted.
I am completely gun shy of going in for a trim now, because all the stylists seem to want to keep the entire back short or "blended". I guess maybe a picture would help?
My hair is really straight and there are a lot of them. The stylist said that my hairs have a lot of structure for whatever that means. The hairs aren't that thick, they just like to go where they want to go. My bangs pretty much fall down in my face despite any gel that I may use. Without gel and drying my hair on a cool setting, my hair would pretty much look like a bowl cut. I currently part it on the side. I think that I look better with a side part.
Anyway, I hope to break the cycle of let it grow to shaggy, trim, and sadness because they trimmed to much. Hopefully, I can break through and get the hair that I want.
But I will say, I feel pretty confident that there will be no painted toesies in the near future.
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Hey guys. I was directed back to this thread when I got a reply notification and then I realized that mystic asked a couple of questions that I never replied to. Sorry mystic!!
So he asked....
mystic wrote:
Do I keep trimming it like a bob as the layers grow out, or just let it keep growing? Any suggestions on a style? It is currently about 4 inches on top and 2.5 inches around the bottom, just below the collar in the back. And it is fairly full, but more fine than thick, straight hair.
It's hard to give a really informed answer without knowing what your hair looks like exactly, but I'd say that since your wife sounds more worried about your hair being shaggy than it being long, you couldn't go wrong with the bob as your hair contiues to grow. Long bobs are one of the few styles that are really unisex. They are neat and simple and, for the most part, "acceptable" for males in western society except with the most conservative of folks. But long bobs can also be very pretty and can be dressed up with curls, braids, clips, or other hair ornaments.
I heartily advocate bobs. I've been wearing them for the last several years myself, though the exact length and style have fluctuated considerably.
So how is the hair growing going mystic? Is your wife warming up to it at all? If your wife has dragged you with her for pedicures and the spa treatment, I'd be surprised if she wouldn't appreciate you having longer, prettier hair. It's a good thing I don't know your wife. I'd tell her that next time she drags you out for a pedicure that she needs to make sure that you come back with those toesies polished !!
vivek wrote:
this is vivek. last week myself and my wife went to our sons pre-school , where i won a lot of admiration for my long hair from both men and women. And at the end of the inaugural function, my wife requested , whethere she could dress my hair up for the day. I agreed to it as i love someone setting my hair . she is actually very good in that. She washed my hair with shampoo. Since my hair is quite long( 32 inches ) with good volume, it requires a lot of patience. She then applied oil and then said that she would like to see my hair in plaits /braids. I said yes but not in public. I usually sport a long pony tail or a highbun as i had to keep the hair secure because of my dayjob. She applied french braids and then ringlets and she really enjoyed it , i also too. So i think that it all depends on the individual and not the gender. I have always felt that if you r confidemt u can have ur way in any style
Thanks for the story vivek. Sounds like you have lovely hair and both you and your wife understand how much fun your hair can be for both of you. Keep challenging those gender-norms!! The world will be a better place when everyone just learns to realax a little and enjoy themselves.
this is vivek. last week myself and my wife went to our sons pre-school , where i won a lot of admiration for my long hair from both men and women. And at the end of the inaugural function, my wife requested , whethere she could dress my hair up for the day. I agreed to it as i love someone setting my hair . she is actually very good in that. She washed my hair with shampoo. Since my hair is quite long( 32 inches ) with good volume, it requires a lot of patience. She then applied oil and then said that she would like to see my hair in plaits /braids. I said yes but not in public. I usually sport a long pony tail or a highbun as i had to keep the hair secure because of my dayjob. She applied french braids and then ringlets and she really enjoyed it , i also too. So i think that it all depends on the individual and not the gender. I have always felt that if you r confidemt u can have ur way in any style
(Don't worry, I didn't make him suffer through facials or talk about boys or anything like that, but he is avoiding sandals right now after his pedicure and I'm not letting him take off the polish!!)
Thanks Jenny-B. I had to laugh. My wife dragged me into a nail salon for dual pedicures once, but I did not leave with nail polish on. Although, I had to admit later that the spa treatment, massage, and stuff was definitely worth the risk of embarrassment. I think my wife subconsiously would like to do more things like you and your boyfriend, but we both come from very conservative backgrounds.
The good news is that he actually seemed to enjoy it sort of.
It sounds to me like he probably does enjoy it. I think guys run the full spectrum on this, where some guys wouldn't want anything close to that sort of thing, and I think there are probably many that would complain some because they don't think society would approve. But I think it might be suprising on how many would willing accept and even enjoy being fussed over by thier girlfriend. Although I completely understand the guy code and the fear of what a guy's friends might think.
But maybe if she thinks you might look good with longer hair, she won't mind you giving it a try and then see if she warms up to it.
I have actually been letting my hair grow out since really January, from the clipped in the back and above the ears look that most guys have. My hair grows very quickly. I had to get it trimmed when my wife thought I started to look like a sheepdog, but it is probably longer now than when I last got it trimmed. And it was only in the last couple of weeks that she thought that I might actually look good with longer hair. My challenge, as the shagginess returns, is finding a style that I can get it trimmed to that she might think looks good as well as keep letting it grow out. Her biggest concern seemed to be that it was too shaggy. Do I keep trimming it like a bob as the layers grow out, or just let it keep growing? Any suggestions on a style? It is currently about 4 inches on top and 2.5 inches around the bottom, just below the collar in the back. And it is fairly full, but more fine than thick, straight hair.
But watch out--it's addictive!! You may find yourself with a head full of curlers if you're not careful.
Lol. I could think of worse things. But, I will keep my eyes peeled.
Edited by mystic - May 16 2007 at 7:17am
Traci_cheer07
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Yes, I do have a unique relationship with my son, and I'll admit I lovedoing his hair and having him be somewhat feminine (tho not effeminate, if you see what I mean). His sisters are pretty blaséabout the whole thing to tell you the truth – when they have friends over and Blair's hair is in braids or whatever ( like I said he's still pretty shy about being seen in rollers ) they just kind of roll their eyes and say 'Oh that's just my gay little brother.' The fact is they love him and we've talked about supporting this part of his exploration. (Naturally they're extremely picky about him not using their hair accessories etc. so I've made sure he has his own rollers and headbands and so on.)
His middle sister is a cheerleader (& as you can tell by my username I'm a former cheerleadermyself, I spent my summers in college teaching at cheer camps) and Blair is now VERY interested in cheering himself at some point – there's a cheer clinic at a gym this summer for girls who are thinking of trying out and we're considering letting him sign up (I've talked to the director and she said he'd be welcome, they've had one or 2 boys go through the clinic before. He would have to wear the same outfit as the girls: cheer T-shirt, gym shorts, high ponytail, pompoms and sneakers). I don't know if this is just a phase or not – I suspect he'll be either gay or a crossdresser to some extent but I try not to worry about it. Some of my friends who are mothers think I'm nuts but I've consulted a couple of therapists and they say I should just let him be who he is, while trying to caution him and keep him from gettinghis feelings hurt. Frankly I worry more about the next few years when he's in middle school – right now he's pretty much accepted at school from what I can tell.
I think it's super that you managed to get your BF in hot rollers! I'm glad you (& he, I take it) loved his curls. Yay! Like I said, once he gets used to regular roller sets I think you'll find he enjoys them. Most men secretly love to be pampered & have their hair and nails done and I think it's really important to let them show that side of their personality.
(Oh yeah, my stylist: Jessica has been really terrific through this whole process with Blair experimenting w/his hairdos, and he gets fussed over and encouraged so much when he goes to the salon that he loves going. It's another thing I get to share with him!)
I think you mean my son Blair – Nathan is Jenny-B's boyfriend.
Hi Traci,
I WAS actually referring to Jenny-B's boyfriend, but I think it is kinda cool that you have that kind of fun with your son as well. I can understand his lack of eagerness on being in 'public'/salon in rollers, but I could probably get through it with a bit of fear of embarassment. I kind of felt that way when my wife took me into a salon the first time for highlights. I can only imagine that curlers would be even more intense.
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I think you mean my son Blair – Nathan is Jenny-B's boyfriend. & yes, he goes to our salon and Jessica, who does my hair, has done his hair on rollers a couple of times. He usually just goes for trims. He's not all that eager to be seen in 'public,' even in a salon, in rollers. I'm pretty anti-perm cause of the damage it does to your hair ( I had a couple of bad experiences in my college days ) and we all like the flexibility of either curling or not curling our hair on any given day.
Traci, you seem to have a very interesting relationship with your son.
I haven't looked at your other thread (didn't see it when I scrolled back through the old threads) so I don't know what you've said about it before. But, like I said before, I don't really know that many boys who are really into that. You didn't mention his age, but I'm guessing he's pretty young? While it's true that my boyfriend enjoys having his hair done most of the time, it's really only beacuse it's something he and I can do together. I don't think he's too into the actual styles themselves.
Do you think maybe it's just a phase your son is going through or something? Or maybe he's just young enough that he doesn't care about social norms? And I'm really curious how his sister feels about it. And actually, what about your stylist? I know my stylist would love to get her hands on Nathan's hair for more than just a trim, but we're all pretty good friends already so it's kind of a running joke between the three of us.
Jenny B.
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No, not really. To be honest, I've kind of laid off asking him about it. I think maybe I was starting to bug him a bit by talking about it too much and I'm pretty sure he thought I was becoming a bit obsessive. Perhaps I was. And the most important thing is that he's comfortable--I don't want to goad him into anything he's not OK with. So I'm just letting it go for now.
The good news is that he's not thinking of cutting his hair off or anything. In fact, he seems pretty cool with the idea of continuing to grow it. Which is obviously fine with me. He's actually been getting a lot of positive comments on it lately (and it is beautiful) so I'm hoping that will encourage him. Maybe if I can't have his hair done in a really pretty style I can get him to grow it out super-long. It's really long already (close to mid-back) but I think it might be fun if it were longer.
Or maybe I can get him to grow it really long AND finally talk him into the style. Ahhh, a girl can dream
But I still have a great time with his hair. Actually, I have a pretty funny story from this past weekend. He'd kill me if he knew I were telling this but......well, internet anonymity is a great thing!!
Last Friday night we stayed in for the evening over at my house and just watched a couple of movies. A lot of times when we watch movies, he'll sit in the floor and I'll sit behind him and play with his hair. Just brushing or braiding and stuff. Well, one of the movies was pretty much a chick-flick (Under the Tuscan Sun--I don't recommend by the way) and I made a joke that this was like having a slumber party. Well, I kind of kept going with the slumber party joke and eventually talked him into letting me put his hair up in curlers since I told him that's what we do at slumber parties!! (Don't worry, I didn't make him suffer through facials or talk about boys or anything like that, but he is avoiding sandals right now after his pedicure and I'm not letting him take off the polish!!) Anyway, I dragged out my hot roller set that I haven't used in several years and went to work. He wore them until right before bed--I couldn't talk him into sleeping with them, and really, I can't blame him. When I took out the curlers, his hair looked amazing! Until now I've only curled his hair with a curling iron and this was soooo much better. Unfortunatley I didn't use spray or gel or anything--just dampened his hair a little--and his hair is pretty straight and doesn't really hold curl well. So by the next morning, all of those curls were pretty much destroyed
The good news is that he actually seemed to enjoy it sort of. Oh, he complained some but he probably felt like he needed to complain since 23 year old men aren't supposed to enjoy having their hair curled. But I think he secretly likes being fussed-over and I don't think he'll mind doing it again soon, and next time I'm going to make sure I get to enjoy those curls for a while.
As a pretty conservative guy, I think it is very cool that you like to style your boyfriend's hair.
Thanks for that. It makes me feel like he and I are a little less weird. But I enjoy his hair so much, and I think he does too. But the internet is really the only place I can talk about it. It's not like I can go around telling my friends--and especially not Nathan's!!!--things about me curling his hair this weekend. Actually, some of my friends would probably think it was cute or cool, but they also probably wouldn't keep it to themselves, and eventually it would end up embarrasing Nathan.
But, if it were me I would go with the 7744 look. I like the look, and it seems like it would work in a ponytail just as easily as straight across the bottom. If that was too much, than I would definitely do 3782. I do think bangs are probably too much.
Thanks for the suggestions. Yeah, I really, really like 7744. I think that it would be perfect for his face shape. But too feminine? Maybe you're right about it being pretty inconspicuous in a ponytail......
The bangs aren't really a serious possibility obviously. Actually, I'm not even sure he'd really look good with bangs. But I just love that look--long hair with wide, blunt bangs.
As for me, my wife has recently said I might look good with longer hair, so perhaps something around chin-length by the end of the year. Perhaps she will be as open-minded as you one day.
Good luck to you and your wife on this. Obviously you can do what you want with your hair, but the type of enjoyment Nathan and I get from his hair really only works when both people are into it. But maybe if she thinks you might look good with longer hair, she won't mind you giving it a try and then see if she warms up to it. But watch out--it's addictive!! You may find yourself with a head full of curlers if you're not careful.
Edited by Jenny-B - May 10 2007 at 9:38am
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I think you mean my son Blair – Nathan is Jenny-B's boyfriend. & yes, he goes to our salon and Jessica, who does my hair, has done his hair on rollers a couple of times. He usually just goes for trims. He's not all that eager to be seen in 'public,' even in a salon, in rollers. I'm pretty anti-perm cause of the damage it does to your hair ( I had a couple of bad experiences in my college days ) and we all like the flexibility of either curling or not curling our hair on any given day.
Any update on getting Nathan's hair done? As a pretty conservative guy, I think it is very cool that you like to style your boyfriend's hair. My wife has been rather reluctant for me to have anything other than the typical short guy cut. But, if it were me I would go with the 7744 look. I like the look, and it seems like it would work in a ponytail just as easily as straight across the bottom. If that was too much, than I would definitely do 3782. I do think bangs are probably too much.
As for me, my wife has recently said I might look good with longer hair, so perhaps something around chin-length by the end of the year. Perhaps she will be as open-minded as you one day.
Good luck.
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Hey if you are both comfortable with it and are having fun, then go for it. You are both consenting adults. It's only hair. It grows back or it can be cut again.
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Sunsailing wrote:
--at least one or two other guys are interested in having nice hair! 
Like I said, once he gets used to regular roller sets I think you'll find he enjoys them. Most men secretly love to be pampered & have their hair and nails done and I think it's really important to let them show that side of their personality.
) and we all like the flexibility of either curling or not curling our hair on any given day. 
He's actually been getting a lot of positive comments on it lately (and it is beautiful) so I'm hoping that will encourage him. Maybe if I can't have his hair done in a really pretty style I can get him to grow it out super-long. It's really long already (close to mid-back) but I think it might be fun if it were longer.
