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Involving your partner...

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enfys View Drop Down
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    Posted: November 30 2007 at 4:51pm
Oddly, in saying he would like to engage in what is kind of a fantasy, my fiance has created a bit of a conundrum for me.

He's said he would let me cut his hair, as long as I didn't mind him having to take whatever steps were necessary  to fix it,  such as shaving it to whatever length he needed to.

It wouldn't be anything drastic, just round an inch all over, and tidy round the edges, but I don't want to mess it up.  While I would like to see it shorter, I won't mess it up deliberately to force a repair job, and I don't want to make him lose trust in me.

On the other hand, I've always enjoyed cutting hair, but only ever long hair, which has more leeway.  I think it would be a great symbol of trust and intimacy, as I would also like him to trim mine.

So.  What do I do?  Speaking from experience, can anyone tell me how hard this task would be to complete?  Or offer any advice or experiences?  Should an untrained person never touch short hair?  Even though he is very easy going and loving, would I ruin our relationship if I  did somehow mess it up?

This is very much not a fetishy thing, it's between me and my partner as a trust and intimacy expression.

Last couple of notes, he prefers scissor cuts, and I'm a very dextrous, left handed, perfectionist.
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Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMB61 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 30 2007 at 9:20pm
Hi,
 
I say go for it, he is willing to have you do it for him. You can do it. How is your hair style, length etc.
 
Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HAWG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 01 2007 at 9:17pm
With a set of clippers and a #8 guard that will leave the hair one inch long, you can't screw it up and you'll both have a great time.  Go for it and enjoy; my wife and I do.
HAWG
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snipette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2007 at 9:39am
I agreee with HAWG. I got my wife to cut myhair and she had no experience whatever. Just use the right guard on the clippersto get the main length. Then depending on how that looks you could go the next size down for the back and sides, but ask him first.  He may want to go shorter. The thing to remember is to relax and enjoy it. It the feeling of you cutting his hair that he wants.  How long is his hair now?  Maybe cut it with the longest guard the go to #8 guard.  Asking him if the length is ok or if he wants to go shorter.  If you would like him to go shorter, then tell him after you have cut it to the length he asked for. He may agree with you. Also you can say that it would mean you would have to trim it more often to tidy it up, and so he can enjoy the pleasure of you cutting his hair more often.
 
Don't be scared enjoy it, i'm sure he will.
 
How long is  your hair?  Maybe you could put him in the same position and instead of asking him for a trim, ask him to maybe cut it a bit shorter. See what his reaction is, he might say no but like the idea you would trust him too.  Let us know how you get on.
 
All the best
Snipette
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enfys View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2007 at 12:32pm
Thanks for the advice all Smile  It's good to know he's not the only partner willing to let their partner have a play with their hair and sharp objects. 

I think if he wanted me to use clippers it would be much easier, but he's not keen on them.  I can try and talk him round though, as it's likely to be the most sensible option in term of a successful outcome.

As for my own hair, it's about to my bra strap, and I'm growing it longer for our wedding, and his sake since he wants to see me with super long hair again.  It's only got a bit of layering through the ends and front, so would be quite easy for him to cut with some direction and pointers.

We have a few weeks before he would need a haircut anyway, since he just got one professonally, but since he mentioned it again today I think he's looking forward to it, and enjoying the idea.
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Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMB61 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2007 at 4:54pm
Hi,
 
Are you willing to let him cut your hair for you? That would be great! Hope you both have fun cutting each others hair.
 
David
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snipette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2007 at 6:19pm
Glad to make you feel a little better about the whole thing. You could try it with scissors, bit leave it longer, then if it's not working out you can fall back and use the clippers.  How short does he normally have his hair and does he want you to do the same style. 
 
You can find pictures on the internet trying to explain with diagrams how to cut hair.  They will give you a rough idea of cutting technics, and should help you if he does want it done by scissors.
 
It sounds like you had long hair when you met him and then cut it shorter and he wants it long like you first met for your wedding. It's quite romantic really. Smile So how long was your hair when you met him, how short did you cut it (plus was it your idea or his) and how long to the wedding and do you think it will be back to the length when you first met?
 
Sorry for all the questons, but i'm just curious. Please do not feel obliged to answer them if you do not feel comfortable.
 
Let us know how you get on and all the best for the Wedding. Enjoy the day as it goes so fast.
 
Cheers
S
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 05 2007 at 12:35pm
Snipette, I don't mind answering those questions.

Firstly, I'd say the longest length, which is on top, is usually a little over an inch when it's first cut, and the sides and back sort of taper down to half an inch or so.  We'd be aiming for cutting the same style, but I know hair doesn't grow at an even rate all over.

We actually met through online dating, and some of the photos were a few months old, where my hair was tailbone length.  When he met me, it was about to my bra, and I had a Bettie Page fringe.  I know he loves me however I look, but there's a photo with my long hair and no fringe that is his favourite, and I'm happy enough to go back to that.

Officially, the wedding is aimed for summer '09, and while I doubt that I will get it to my tailbone again in time I should get a good bit of growing done.  And I know my fiance would love to see me looking like a renaissance  beauty when I  become his wife.

I will keep you updated on what happens next hair-wise, so long as the cut doesn't go so wrong he leaves me after shaving my head in retaliation to it...
http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea
Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snipette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 05 2007 at 4:12pm
When his hair is that short there isn't any need for scissors.  So you can use them to cut a bit for dramatic flare, but use the clippers when you get down to the serious businessSmile
 
It soulds like you have amazing hair. Why did you cut it in the first place? Also what is your hair like? Thick, thin, wavey, straight, blonde, brunette, red head?
 
I look forward to hearing how your barbette skill are and how much fun you have. If it turns him on as much as it sounds like it might, then you are in for a very fun evening Wink
 
All the best
S
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 05 2007 at 4:38pm
Snipette, thanks again for your input.  I have to say I don't know a lot about male hair cutting, having never even set foot in a barbers before being with my fiance.  Does it just tend to be preference on the barbers part to use scissors then?  I've only ever seen my boyfriends hair cut with clippers at the bottom and on his sideburns.  Argh. 

I'd only cut my hair through boredom, and an interest in 50s and rockerbilly; I was intending to recreate those looks, then realised I missed my straight, willing hair, as it developed waves.  It's naturally brown and has a dyed fuchsia streak, which I'm not sure whether to keep or not.

Maybe I should wait until the weather is warmer...I do have an impending feeling of doom about it.  The trust and fun may be gone if I bugger it up too severely.  Or, worse, do it then realise *I* don't like it, or him, then feel guilty.  I know that if he were to cut my hair wonkily, I could easily easily disguise it.  On hair as short as his there aren't many options except hats.  I have to say, I'm glad to finally have a partner who is as hair-interested as I am.
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Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snipette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 17 2007 at 4:42pm
So enfys,
 
Have you cut his hair yet or are you waiting until after Christmas?  Has he mentioned any more? or have you said that you are willing to do it and what was his reaction?
 
If you have cut his hair, how did it go and how did you both feel?
 
Cheers
Snipette
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 18 2007 at 4:01pm

We've been having a really hard time the past few weeks; I've been ill and I'm waiting to get tests done to see whats up, and he has had a few family bereavements, so it's been pretty tough.  To be honest, hair has been the least of our worries.  However, in the new year I may still have a go.  We've been so busy with family and doctors that we havent had hardly any intimate time.  It's not even been brought up in conversation.

Here's to a quieter new year for 08....
 
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Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 17 2008 at 3:56am
I can offer a little conclusion to this story now.  Last week, my fiance got a haircut at a well known, reputable, expensive barbers.  And they barely did what he asked for.  Essentially the top wasn't cut and the shorter sides and back didn't blend, they were left with harsher edges.  So, last night, after proving a point by grabbing a bit of the top and putting one of my hairbands round it, he said he'd like me to cut it, and he trusted me.  He cut a bit at the front to give me a guide to follow, and from there I pretty much just used my fingers and scissors to cut the top, from crown to forehead.
He was really pleased with the job I did, and even said it was a better finish than some/most paid for cuts.  And, since it's obviously free, he said he'd be happy to have me cut his hair every month, rather than the 6-8 weeks he'd normally wait. 

Of course this was just a corrective tidy up, but not an insignificant one considering the length difference in top to sides and back.  Next time, we will get some clippers and I will do the whole haircut, but for now we're both very happy with yesterday's outcome.  He said it's made him trust me even more; he could see the care and concern I used. 

As for him cuting my own hair, he doesn't want to because he wants me to grow it, so I will involve him in other things like have him mix up the dye and bleach and re-do my roots next time, so he can have a part to play in my hair styling.

While it was an expensive lesson initially for him, I'm really glad he had a botched haircut, it gave us a great stepping stone.  Now he's actually encouraging me to study hairdressing as a profession!  Quite a leap from a few months ago.
http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea
Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HAWG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 17 2008 at 9:28pm
What a nice end to this story; happy for both of you.
HAWG
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snipette Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 20 2008 at 8:14am
Enfys,
 
I'm glad you got a chance to cut your boyfriends hair, and even happier you did such a good job that you are going to be his full time hairstylist.  I'm sure you will enjoy using the clippers on him too.
As for him doing your hair is a great idea, maybe get him to use some rollers to give more volume and waves just for diferent looks and fun.  Also if he changes his mind on you growing your hair and thinks a trim, cut or shorter style would suit you, then let us know how you get on. 
 
Plus let us know how his next hair cut goes when you use the clippers I can imagine you smile from ear to ear the first time you use them.
 
All the best and enjoy
S
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 21 2008 at 2:02pm
Aye, the story isn't quite over since we need to try a full haircut, which may or may not be forgivable, so I will update when that happens.  For now I'm still pleased with myself, and got compliments from the in-laws when we saw them for his birthday.

I think it's a fair thing that partners should have a say in each others hair.  After all, I see his hair more than he sees his own, and vice versa.  And if I can keep up this barbering game and keep his trust we should both be happy for some time yet.

Now I'm just willing his hair to grow faster so I can get the first cut out of the way!
http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea
Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote julesyjul88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 21 2008 at 11:19pm
My husband had about three botched professional hair cuts before he let me have a go at his hair.Once where the lady even cut a very noticeable bald spot!
Now he lets me trim it like you did,shape up the scargglys every now and then.I wouldnt feel comfortable trying to give him a style though.
 
My husband doesnt know the first thing about hairdye,but he does an excellent job of trimming when sometimes I cant see the back to do it myself.He is a mechanic,so he is very good with his hands.
 
I agree we should have SOME say in how our mates hair is...
so long as we arent trying to COMPLETELY change who they are.
(example: a guy who loves having his hair long meets girl who wants him to buzz it all off)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Honeystrands Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 07 2008 at 9:20pm
I think it's great that you and your sweetie are helping one another with your hair. How do you suggest it to him or bring it up?

What would you like him to do to your hair?

I'm wanting to do the same with my guy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 15 2008 at 5:02pm
Well today we finally went for it, and I cut my fiance's hair properly.  It was a thorough success.  Thankfully he knows how he likes his hair and would pay attention to how "professionals" cut it, what lengths he likes and all that jazz, which came in very handy for me!  I bought the clippers as one of his Valentines gifts, and used #5 on the nape, up to #8 for the rest of the back and sides, then I did the front .and top, and round the ears with scissors.  So far his family have been convinced it was a professional cut, and my fiance has said it feels good everytime he touches it.

Honeystrands, my fiance has always liked having his hair played with.  Sometimes when we're watching tv he'll lie across the sofa so I can play with it, and I find that then, when he's comfortable and relaxed and it's in context, that it is the best time to talk about hair.  Also, I found it was a good time to drop subtle hints about him needing a haircut soon, for example if it gets long enough to sit on his ears, then saying I'd like to cut it. 
From the other perspective, I always ask what he thinks of my hair, then play up to what he likes.  I know he was a bit intimidated by my hair because he was scared he would knot it or something, but he overcame that when I injured my shoulder and couldnt lift it!  I don't suggest you hurt yourself but maybe get your guy to help with your hair, like if you are wearing it up, ask him to hold it while you put a pin in, things like that.  He'll get used to touching your hair, and if you ask he'll know it's not annoying you.  Hope you get the same response I did, it's worth it for that trust and intimacy you definately can't get from a real hairdresser!
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Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Honeystrands Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 15 2008 at 7:13pm
Sounds great. Those are good ideas. Thanks.
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