Pink: I really hope you get what you want. Blonde can be so tricky!
There's a few things I want to add to the great advice you've gotten here. You mentioned your hair is dark and coarse. That's a huge reason why your hair is harder to lighten to pale blonde. I have Level 1 hair naturally, but my hair lightens very easy because it is fine and curly. This doesn't mean to can't be pale blonde though. I think you should take a close look at your hair when it's bleached. Does it look yellow after the hairdresser's original bleaching, before toner? If it's yellow or golden, then it can be bleached further and probably should. Some people need to be bleached twice to get to the Level they want (just not white!). Many colourists are afraid to do that because bleach can be harsh. Then they try to cover the yellow/gold with violet, which works initially, then fades out quickly.
Basically, I think your hair needs to be bleached again. It needs to be watched very closely so that it doesn't lighten too much. THEN a violet toner can be placed over it.
Also, take into consideration that after hair is bleached, a weird thing happens. Some pigment returns to the cuticle and can make it look yellow. This happens with very dark hair. This is also why you need to maintain your blonde EVERY wash with a purple/violet shampoo/conditioner. My hair never goes yellow because I'm constantly apply a light violet conditioner to it.
Hey, it takes work to be pale blonde, but it's fun!
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