Which color and highlight product should I use?

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   About a year ago I paid like $150 to have caramel colored peekaboo highlights and all over color that was very dark with a violet hue to it. It wasn't necessarily "look at my hair, it's purple" It was almost like you could only see the deep violet when the light hit it. It was super expensive and took FOREVER as I have long hair. It's naturally a dark brown color (which is what it is now) and I would like to recreate that look but without the $150 pricetag. I currently cut my own hair (and i love it-I can never get exactly what I want at the salon). I've been watching tutorials on at home highlights. So this is what I gather as far as the highlights go:

DON'T use bleach, I should use a lightener. For the Peekaboo effect obviously I use pieces of hair not right at the top. However, I have no idea what product is best and I also don't know how to do the dye job and the highlights at the same time. I remember the stylist using a heat activated lightener, she had me sit under the dryer for  LONG TIME (she kept checking it though until she got what she wanted. I don't remember the order in which she did things. It was foiled which is what I plan to do. Do I need a toner? What is the best lightener for me? Do I dye all over then lighten what I want and use toner? Any help would be greatly appreciated. I want to make sure I have everything down before I actually do it. I know it won't be perfect but I'm pretty laisse-faire about my hair. When I have more money I'll go professional I'm sure.