Good idea, but.....

I've been reading some of the messages here out of curiosity more than anything else. I've never responded to a personal ad of any kind before, nor have I posted one. My own view about this is that I prefer to be spontaneous. Personal ads seem rather contrived to me. A more likely scenario for me would be to meet someone via your other message board as well as other areas on the internet. There, you can get to know people by the messages they post. After seeing a wide variety of posts, then a direct email message can be sent to break the ice.On the other hand, I'm not generally the dating type anyway. I've had only one serious relationship, and I ended up marrying her. I guess I break many of the male stereotypes, but for me, I doubt if personals will ever do much.Just my own opinion.Related Link:Men's Long Hair Site

Hi Charlie....Jeff and I are going to post some instructions at the top of the board in the next few days. Included will be how to send email. There will be instructions to click on the highlighted name to send email.Also....this board is not limited to single people. If attached people want to contribute...that is cool too. We are working on how to resolve that as well.Jeff and I are looking at ways to make this more of a Man meets Woman, Woman meets Man kind of setup rather than just a forum. Maybe that would help. With that type of setup any man or any woman can post and hopefully they will mention if they as attached or not. You know...something like the D/W/F or M/W/F or S/W/F.If people want to post comments or thoughts that would not be appropriate for Hair Talk...that is great too. We just want to maintain good taste...so that the majority of people are comfortable coming here.We are also looking at actual personals software so that people can post by state and post photos. You know...like a real personals forum.I can promise you all one thing....I personally am not giving up on this board. It may take time...but I am determined to find a good workable solution for everyone who visits. Just ask Jeff what I am like when I am determined....scary. :-)I want you to all know that Jeff and I really appreciate the heck out of all the people that visit our site. We want this site to be the best we can make it....and we know it is only best if our visitors think it is. So we are going to keep on working on this nit. OK?Hey...if I can grow my hair long...I can do anyting...even get other women to this board. Right? :-)Regards,KarenPS. I am glad to hear you don't scare your horses. I would hate to have to report you to the Humane Society... :-) Have a great day!

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*ahem* the "No.CA" in my _title_ refers to "Northern California" thankyouverymuch. (I couldn't fit Oakland/SF/SJo all in the space.) ;-)Karen, I like your idea of soliciting other long-haired women and directing them towards this board. Coming from a woman, that would be a lot less threatening, and I think, ultimately, that's everyone's primary concern. In light of that, I would like to pass along advice that comes from someone wiser than myself: have the women place the ads, and that way, _they_ can pick and choose who they wish to reply to. (Yes, they pick and choose now, but, in my opinion, from a smaller potential pool.)I would also like to offer a humble opinion about the concerns of being liked based only on appearance expressed by Brandy and felt by pretty much everyone in our enlightened society. Basically, that's how it works _everywhere_ in nature. Male peacocks have plumage; male frigate birds build nests, puff up their red pouchs (a long and difficult process) to attract the females, who fly down check out the nest, if they don't like it, they split. But why do women grow their hair long? Because they _LIKE_ it! And that simply, honestly, naturally attracts a specific type of man, ie: the guy that really likes long hair, and men who read and post to this board.But this doesn't mean that the _expression_ of this liking (ie, the "fetish") is supposed to occur on a first date! It's a part of the same discussion and negotiation that goes into shared interests/personal hobbies, political views, dining preferances, vacation spots, family history, family future, etc. I agree that those who have not progressed beyond the fascination with hair should be allowed a little more time to "ripen on vine". To quote my college English instructor, who "successfully raised three girls," "If you don't know the name of the man's kindergarten teacher, you don't know enough to sleep with him." (Personally, I think that's a _little_ extreme, but I agree with the sentiment.) ;-)And, also, as Stephanie a young yet wise woman, said to me thirteen years ago, "It's just an ornament." I was attracted to her and, I think, had I been more vine-ripened, she might have been attracted to me. I completely failed to make a good impression, and was too chagrined to try again.Unfortunately, this enlightened society does make it necessary to exercise caution with blind dates and blind e-mails, so I'd again like to commend Karen and Jeff for their efforts in making this a _safe_ enviornment.--Bruce

Karen:I read the ads here pretty regularly, but I have not responded to any of them, because like most women, I am a bit nervous about people who specify that the hair is the main reason for the contact. I don't mind that being a fun adjunct and possible basis for a friendship, but I don't know that I like the idea of being the object of a fetish. Another thing, it would be helpful if people placing ads would indicate early-on what telephone area code, state, or geographic area they are in. It doesn't make much sense if one is looking for a relationship to make the intended audience have to go through exchanging e-mail only to find out that the long-distances involved preclude any further contact.Just a suggestion...B>> Hi Bruce...> I totally agree with everything that you> have said in your post and as you know...I am> frustrated.> You are right...women as just as guilty of> having specific physical likes and dislikes just> like men are. However, for some reason women won't> really admit that or they try to downplay it.> Men are just more open about it...in my opinion.> Men have always been known to have a general preference> for blonde, brunette, tall, short, etc. Woman> also look for certain types of men....tall, short,> beards, lots of hair, etc. In fact, a lot of men> in today's society are discriminated against...or> feel they are ...by women who prefer men with> hair.> So go figure.> Jeff and I discussed this situation at length> during lunch and we are planning the following> actions:> 1. Get specific listings in the search engines> for just this personals page and state it is a> free singles forum for people with a love of long> hair (men & women) 2. Set up a special links> section JUST for this forum with other personal> boards so that we can try to get some attention> from other females that might be more open to> this. 3. Post addresses here of women that are> on the Net that are advertising in personals that> have long hair. I am not sure about #3 and we> would try to post this discretely. My thinking> is...if they are willing to advertise on the Internet> in free personal boards......what is wrong with> me passing on this information to the people who> post here?> I am open to comments on these three ideas.> Or if anyone has any other ideas or suggestions.>> As you can see Jeff and I are determined> to try and make this work because so many people> wrote to us asking for this board.> We are just disappointed that the women who> said they would participate...have not.> Thanks for taking the time to give your great> feedback. I think you are right...showing a photo> will help a lot. If anyone wanted to do that...it> would might help.> Karen

Hi Bruce...I totally agree with everything that you have said in your post and as you know...I am frustrated.You are right...women as just as guilty of having specific physical likes and dislikes just like men are. However, for some reason women won't really admit that or they try to downplay it. Men are just more open about it...in my opinion. Men have always been known to have a general preference for blonde, brunette, tall, short, etc. Woman also look for certain types of men....tall, short, beards, lots of hair, etc. In fact, a lot of men in today's society are discriminated against...or feel they are ...by women who prefer men with hair.So go figure.Jeff and I discussed this situation at length during lunch and we are planning the following actions:1. Get specific listings in the search engines for just this personals page and state it is a free singles forum for people with a love of long hair (men & women) 2. Set up a special links section JUST for this forum with other personal boards so that we can try to get some attention from other females that might be more open to this. 3. Post addresses here of women that are on the Net that are advertising in personals that have long hair. I am not sure about #3 and we would try to post this discretely. My thinking is...if they are willing to advertise on the Internet in free personal boards......what is wrong with me passing on this information to the people who post here?I am open to comments on these three ideas. Or if anyone has any other ideas or suggestions.As you can see Jeff and I are determined to try and make this work because so many people wrote to us asking for this board.We are just disappointed that the women who said they would participate...have not.Thanks for taking the time to give your great feedback. I think you are right...showing a photo will help a lot. If anyone wanted to do that...it would might help.Karen

> I agree with Fred! Yes, this board is a good> idea in theory, but I doubt whether any women> read it let alone actually respond! I think we've> got to find a better way to meet our dream girl!!!> Best of luck!! BarryHi there Here is a possible alternative.Email me direct for info regarding our Inroducory Special

>HiI too put in an as that went un-responded to. First of all, i thought the interest in long haired people was a given here. I believe that everyone finds a certain physical attribute to be attractive, men and women alike. Long hair, short hair, tall , short, dark light, or whatever. I, personaly, like long hair on a lady. That doesn't mean that that excludes everything else. A pair of pretty eyes will melt my insides everytime. I'm a big one for eye contact. What's between the ears is pretty important. I've always been more attracted to women who can discuss a wide range of topics adn have a lot of interests. I one eated a person who seemed that the only activities worth while were horizontal... That wasn't enough for me. I needed a partner who I could comunicate with and share with. She even had long hair!If any one, ANYONE, sent me an e-mail to my private address I would respond. I've been checking this site for a responce to my add every day. I re-read it. I'll admit that it's not the best but how do I sum myself up in a few short lines? I love to communicate, but I'm not that good! I also felt like an idiot when I put my full name on it... Oh well.Mary, if you'd like to write to me, I'd love to hear from you.Charlie

Augie,You say that you personally look for a woman with more than long hair...but when I reread your ad (which I just did) ...you very specifically say that "long hair stirs your soul" and that you want to meet a woman with "long hair".That is exactly what tells me that the hair is a big part of what you want. That is exactly what I don't want...to be chosen for my hair. In fact...I will often wear my hair up when I first get to know men because I want them to know me.Your ad also does not say your age, where you live or what your interests are besides the ocean, seafood and long hair. So I read your ad and surfed past it. In the future you may have more luck if you remove all the references to long hair and instead talk about who you are.Good luck.MaryPS. You might also have more luck if you don't print your ad in all caps. A lot of people have a hard time reading postings that are in all caps.

Hi all.... I have also read all the messages on this forum...but being the co-webmaster...I try to read all the messages all the time. However...I did send a private email to one of the men posting here and he did not respond. So I guess I have to wonder...like Mary...what the deal is.Do any of you guys get private email responses to the postings? If you do...then what? Do you respond? Jeff and I were originally assuming that you would get private email and that most people would not want to post in public. We also thought that the board could be used to post other hair stuff that fall under personals or singles types of forums.If not...Jeff and I need to figure out a better way. We are always open to suggestions for any visitors.I also know that women feel uncomfortable...like Mary said...if they think a man is only interested in her hair. I have been told that more times than I can remember.I know...I know...it is a man/woman difference thing. But hey...it that is what women think...don't you guys want to know? :-)Karen