cut sons hair

hello to all...as some of u may remember i was curious as to how long is too long for a toddler's(17mo old boy) hair...well the decision was made for me, one of the family members(who shall remain nameless) took caden to the mall and cut his hair:( i was just so angry i could not speak!!!
the only good thing is she saved the hair 4 me (it was his 1st haircut) it is still kinda long for a boy and as much as i hate to admit it , i like it.....but i really LOVED his long locks...i feel so cheated..am i overreacting? it will grow back i know ...BUT I AM STILL SEETHING....does anyone have any words of enlightenment?

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm speechless.

Something worse happened to my
mother. When she was like 3 yrs
old, her aunt pierced her ears!

duke wrote: Please tell us, did Caden have any comment? I hope he wasn't forced. How does he feel about it?

His comments? How did he feel? He is 17 months old. Hair isn't his top priority right now. He'd be more concerned about being around people he didn't know that having a stylish 'do.

JF

How can someone do that? That is so mean. I don't suppose that he's old enough to have an opinion, but what about you? That is so sneaky and decietful, doing that without asking you. Saving the hair for you is like rubbing your face in what they did.

As your son is presently unable to express his preference for his hair length, it is your decision as a parent that has to be adhered to.

That someone other than a childs parents have made and implemented their own decision regarding his bodily part is out of order.

If I was his mother, I would take measures to prevent this ever happening again.
I would forbid it in the strongest terms and if there was a danger that despite my instruction, it would happen again, I would not leave my son alone in the care of that person.

When Caden is able to communicate his preference then no one elses decision or opinion will matter.
Until that time - everyone other than Mum and Dad has to be told.."Hands Off".

This is a case of disrespectful behaviour, no matter how trivial others may make it out to be.

ndividuality is great and should be encouraged, but it has to be your son's individuality, not yours. If those differ, they differ.

You put that really well, Rod.
I agree wholeheartedly.

Let's be realistic and honest here.
I have a 5 year old daughter. Even though I wear my hair very short, my daughter has fairly long hair, a little girl's style and length of hair.

Now I believe very much in individuality. But I also know that when children are small, boys wear short hair and girls have hair a little longer. That is common so we can tell boys from girls.
Now when boys and girls become men and women they mature. Their bodies mature and their voices and facial features mature. So even if a woman is bald or a man has hair down to his ankles, you can still easily tell that the bald woman is a woman and the man with long hair is a man. But when kids are real little,-(unless you peek under their little clothes tee hee, nothing dirty intended there!)- it is harder to tell isn't it!
Of course a little girl with very short hair or a little boy with very long hair would be ostracized by the other kids! That's a no brainer! You have to use your common sense.

When the boy is grown up and has a man's features then he can grow his hair to his knees if he wants to, like the handsome Dave Decker who moderates the long hair board here does. Many men have long hair.

And when a girl grows up and has a woman's body and features, then, if she wants to, she can wear her hair very short as I do. Many women wear their hair in short hair styles.


Adults are different than kids. Don't put your kid through alot of uneccesary hell. Life is tough enough for kids.

I know you love your kid and I'm sure you are a good mother, but you have to realize he and his playmates are still very young. A couple of years from now when he's 4 or 5 yrs. old, other kids when they are that age are a little meaner and know more than when they are 2. Then he would get a bad time from the other kids. If I were you I wouldn't get too angry with the person who had your son's hair cut. They were just trying to protect him.

But that's your problem to deal with.

Good luck to you and yours.

i think the whole point is this person did it agaist your wishes. which i feel that person had no business doing. just my 2 cents.

How many kids do you have Duke? My guess is none.

Wait until you have a son, if you ever do Duke. Let the kid have long hair when he goes to school. Watch the kid get beat up by other boys in the school and mocked by the girls.

Maybe Grandma was wrong to give the kid a haircut because it wasn't her kid. But the mother should have had enough common sense to give the boy a haircut.

And when children are small Duke we "force" them to do all kinds of things, otherwise they would grow up to be spoiled brats. I don't care if some freakish genius played the violin when he was little. Kids obviously need to learn things from their parents and adults, including that they don't always get their way about everything.

We "force" them to help with chores, we "force" them to be toilet trained. We "force" them to go to pre-school, to church. We force them to wear warm clothes in the winter so they don't catch cold, etc. We "force" them to do all kinds of stuff, including getting haircuts.

Children need to learn things, including they don't always get their way. If not they grow up stupid, selfish and spoiled, which is one of the big problems we have in the western world at least with the wealthier classes. They spoil there little darlings, let them do whatever they like, in the name of "sensitivity to the child". What a bunch of liberal elite BALONEY!!! What a bunch of AIRHEAD parents!!!!! I mean I'm liberal in some ways but my daughter is not a spoiled brat, and neither will the child I'm presently pregnant with be spoiled. I didn't grow up withe the rich liberal set of people, thank God!

Kids have to learn the meaning of no as well as yes. They need to learn they don't always get what they want. And parents often do make decisions for kids when they are little, otherwise you are not doing your job as a parent.

I hope you don't have kids Duke if you think that two year olds should be able to do whatever they like. They don't have maturity yet, they are not adults yet. They are little kids. They don't get to make every decision when they are a little kid. Geeezzz. Anyone would know that!

Thank God some people still have common sense when raising kids, that we are not all airheads yet.