silky hair help

hello i am new to the forum and was wondering if anyone out there can help me with a hair issue i am having. I am at my wits end with my hair. i am mixed but do not have that naturally curly beautiful mixed girl hair- rather my hair is extremely course and very thick frizzy and unruly. ive always gotten my hair relaxed but since ive movec out and started living on my own i have not been financially able to get my hair relaxedprofessionally in a salon. when i do relax my own hair at home it doesnt get nearly as straight and soft. I would like some suggestions on the best home relaxers as well as hair moisterizers, deep conditions, oils/butters etc. that will make my hair lay tame silky and smooth.thank you.