Outspoken critics of long hair

Lurker,This has been an interesting threat of messages and I confess, even as a man with long hair, that I would like to add my ³two cents².> Depends on who is doing the crique, AND the type of> critique. If it is destructive criticism, then> definitely not. But, if it is constructive criticism,> and I respect the source of the critique, or if I> think they have a valid point, I will probably think> about it.We all tend to listen to those we respect, but even those we respect can exert a lot of negative pressure.> If it is your boss, maybe you should listen. If it is> your lover, maybe you should think about it.When you have to make a monetary decision the stakes obviously go up. In relation to your lover, you have to determine how important the relationship is. And, you can always assert yourself and say this is who I am. It may require negotiation, but any relationship involves that.> If it is a stranger on the street, then be as rude to> them as they are to you: tell 'em THEIR hair looks> like crap, and you like your own just fine!!!I don¹t think I would feel comfortable, myself, to fight back in that way. But then, as a Christian I would probably ³turn the other cheek². I can also ignore what they say and brush it off. It still hurts, but I have to be true to my convictions. ³Fighting fire with fire² doesn¹t solve anything and just gives the other person more reason to feel the way they do.> It is a point of view quite like your own! You have> frequently espoused the blanket opinion that women> look best with long hair, that you don't understand> why women cut their long hair, that there is a> "conspiracy" to coerce people into cutting> their long hair, you hate to think about women> "cutting inches of hair"....in short, you> are biased toward long hair!> This is a long hair point of view!!!Some of us prefer long hair. My wife has short hair and I love her dearly. After almost 30 years of marriage you learn to accept the other person. I still would prefer her to wear her hair long, but that is her choice. It isn¹t worth ruining a great marriage! I believe Dave is simply sharing his preference and belief that too many women are coerced into cutting their hair. It would be a boring world if everyone thought the same. And it is a shame to see someone coerced into doing something they don¹t want to do. Sometimes, when you are baraged by criticism or comments on a frequent basis, it is easier to give in then to hang on.> May be allowed??? Like someone is standing with a tape> measure and a pair of scissors, telling the person> that their hair has reached "critical> length", time for a cut??See my last comment.> Hey, the violins are playing! Wa Wa Wa. I guess the> moral of the story is to get a backbone! It is like> telling your kids not to let their friends make them> do drugs or steal.This is what really caused me to respond to this post. Again, I am speaking as a man, but I¹m sure many women might have experienced the same feelings. Three years ago I had grown my hair for two and one half years. I buckled under my own pressure to cut my hair for a job interview (which didn¹t pan out). When I realized my mistake it was too late, but the pain of growing it back was very real. Yes, I am an adult and I don¹t expect any violins, but those previous two plus years had been very difficult.... my home flooded, my elderly father moved into our home to die, my older son was preparing for a wedding (with the involved stress), and my wife lost her job. Then we had my older son¹s wedding, my father died, and my younger son left for college, all in three weeks. My wife and I went from a house of five to an ³empty nest². What I¹m trying to say is, the fear of what would lie ahead while I was growing my hair back made the pain of losing my hair worse. Perhaps only a person who has had long hair and ³involuntarily² cut it would understand what I am saying.> Like these (supposedly) adult women cannot make up> their own minds??? If the women let themselves be> influenced, THEY still made the final decision to go> with the cut. Gee, Dave, you make it seem like these> gals are just so damn PLIANT that any smooth-talking> hair-cutting kind of guy can just charm the hair right> off their pretty little heads!!!I still think that constant pressure from others can force us to make irrational decisions. It isn¹t easy to ³go against the crowd², it takes a lot of courage.> If they are unhappy after the cut, call it a cheap> lesson in life. At least they won't be going to prison> for making a mistake in judgement!A cheap lesson can also be a painful one!> Again, as long as the person is not being forcibly> held down and having their hair cut off against their> will, my only response it: get a backbone! We are> (mostly) all adults, and adults make choices. Learn to> say "NO".Easy to say, not always easy to do.I just wanted to add my opinion.

JerkyFlea,It's not a dig at your column. The point I was trying to make in thatparagraph was to differentiate the methods of receipt of the message.When someone criticizes you to their face, there is no avoiding it.If someone is criticized in writing, they need not be aware of itunless they actually seek out the feedback on themselves, in which casethey are choosing to receive the message.> This may just boil down to who you know.Perhaps. Between us, we know of examples of both situations.As for what you see as being somewhat of a contradiction (item 2)...A given woman who has short hair either (a) has always had short hair,(b) had short hair for a long time, or (c) has recently cut their hair.For the women in category (a), there is no issue. For the women incategory (b), "time heals all wounds" seems to hold largely true. Formost of the women in category (c) that I have known, they were, to agreater or lesser extent, emotionally upset.However, the actual percentage of women in category (c) is *very* smallrelative to categories (a) and (b). Thus, upon seeing a short-hairedwoman, I never make any assumption about how she feels about her hair.It would probably be a safe bet that a given short-haired woman chosenrandomly from a crowd is not presently experiencing such emotionaldistress.Dave