Update

Several weeks ago, I wrote this board with a plea for advice. As a 45-year old male who had worn his hair short for all of his life, I seriously considered growing it long and wondered if I should go with my desire. I got some great advice and lots of encouragement...all of it very much appreciated. I thought I would give an update.I just returned from the barber shop with my regular short hair cut. I had gone nearly 15 weeks without a haircut and it was starting to get quite long. I liked the feel of it and the look was sure different for me. Yesterday morning, I even went jogging with may hair pulled back in a tiny little ponytail...it was that long already after 3 months. I have not doubt that if I could have kept growing it for the rest of the year, I would have had hair long enough to pull back comfortably and stylishly.It was tempting, but I gave it up. Here's why.First of all, my job requires high visibility and credibility for a government agency. I just couldn't risk losing any credibility because of the length of my hair. I know that is a lousy reason...but it is reality, and I do cherish my job. The culture of my agency just doesn't allow for men with long hair....especially from its "spokesperson".Secondly, and more importantly, I found myself becoming too interested and almost obsessed with my hair. It was becoming too important and was distracting me from higher priority issues with my life. I could just feel myself getting more obsessed as my hair got longer. I didn't think it was healthy.I am comfortable with my ultimate decision. In a world where people are not judged by such things as hair length, I might have stayed with it. But with a family to think about and a job that is important to me....and the fact that I don't want to be too selfish with my own desires...this is the best decision at this time.I'm not trying to be a martyr in denying my desire. But I just don't think I was ready to go through with wearing my hair long.I even shaved off my mustache after 22 years. Talk about a different look!Thank you all for the encouragement and great dialogue. You are all thoughtful people and I would be the first one to encourage anyone else to follow their dreams. I hope I didn't let any of you down by giving in. I'm still a huge fan of long hair (especially on women!) and will keep reading comments on this board with great interest.Al

> Several weeks ago, I wrote this board with a plea for> advice. As a 45-year old male who had worn his hair> short for all of his life, I seriously considered> growing it long and wondered if I should go with my> desire. I got some great advice and lots of> encouragement...all of it very much appreciated. I> thought I would give an update.> I just returned from the barber shop with my regular> short hair cut. I had gone nearly 15 weeks without a> haircut and it was starting to get quite long. I liked> the feel of it and the look was sure different for me.> Yesterday morning, I even went jogging with may hair> pulled back in a tiny little ponytail...it was that> long already after 3 months. I have not doubt that if> I could have kept growing it for the rest of the year,> I would have had hair long enough to pull back> comfortably and stylishly.> It was tempting, but I gave it up. Here's why.> First of all, my job requires high visibility and> credibility for a government agency. I just couldn't> risk losing any credibility because of the length of> my hair. I know that is a lousy reason...but it is> reality, and I do cherish my job. The culture of my> agency just doesn't allow for men with long> hair....especially from its "spokesperson".> Secondly, and more importantly, I found myself> becoming too interested and almost obsessed with my> hair. It was becoming too important and was> distracting me from higher priority issues with my> life. I could just feel myself getting more obsessed> as my hair got longer. I didn't think it was healthy.> I am comfortable with my ultimate decision. In a world> where people are not judged by such things as hair> length, I might have stayed with it. But with a family> to think about and a job that is important to> me....and the fact that I don't want to be too selfish> with my own desires...this is the best decision at> this time.> I'm not trying to be a martyr in denying my desire.> But I just don't think I was ready to go through with> wearing my hair long.> I even shaved off my mustache after 22 years. Talk> about a different look!> Thank you all for the encouragement and great> dialogue. You are all thoughtful people and I would be> the first one to encourage anyone else to follow their> dreams. I hope I didn't let any of you down by giving> in. I'm still a huge fan of long hair (especially on> women!) and will keep reading comments on this board> with great interest.> AlHey, Al. You sound cool. I mean letting it grow out for nearly 4 months after getting it hacked back every month or so, I would guess, is a major step. Don't sweat your decision!The great thing about hair is that it keeps growing no matter what we do or don't do to it. And it sounds as though yours grows kind of quickly.After reading your message I had a few reactions I feel compelled to express. Take them as you wish, but they're meant in a positive way, man.My guess is you'll get the urge to let it grow out again in the very near future. And at that point you'll have the self assuredness to keep at it until it reaches the length you want. See, I don't think cutting it will stop your interest or "obsession" with your hair as part of your overall image man. And I think being avidly interested in your appearance is natural, normal and indicative of a healthy state of mind. And if your mind is healthy and fit you'll have confidence in your own mode of self-expression. You spoke of the "reality" of your job working against a guy with long-hair. Reality is what YOU make it. I mean you work for the friggin government! Geez! They can't fire you because of your hair, unless you're in food service. Visibility is in your position? Great! So what? I think the concern is more yours than theirs. Think about that, for a moment.I have chest length dreadlocks. Some times I wear them hanging loose. Other days, I pull them back into a neat pony tail or braid. I work in public relations with the Postal Service, visiting accounts and the only comments I ever get are positive. In fact, the longer they get the more frequent the compliments. At this point, I've set my naval as my overall length goal.It might be that some people who don't really like my long dreads still compliment me because they don't know what to say and feel compelled to comment. Who friggin cares? I've been locing for 4 or 5 years now and in the process I've had 3 promotions. I know my promotions were based upon the confidence, assuredness and goal orientation I show towards my work and display by my well groomed, full set of locs.When you-re ready Al, go for it again, but with gusto, not with hesitancy or self doubt! You'll see that as you freely express yourself, the regular attention you'll devote to your hair care and devlopment will seem as natural as eating or sleeping, and not like some clandestine, shameful pleasure. It's your body and your mind, Al. I'd enjoy them both while you're lucky enough to be in control of both.

Sorry, man, but I agree with a couple of the other guys. Ithink you really copped out. I hope you grow for it again. Just have some self-determination.Rod> Several weeks ago, I wrote this board with a plea for> advice. As a 45-year old male who had worn his hair> short for all of his life, I seriously considered> growing it long and wondered if I should go with my> desire. I got some great advice and lots of> encouragement...all of it very much appreciated. I> thought I would give an update.> I just returned from the barber shop with my regular> short hair cut. I had gone nearly 15 weeks without a> haircut and it was starting to get quite long. I liked> the feel of it and the look was sure different for me.> Yesterday morning, I even went jogging with may hair> pulled back in a tiny little ponytail...it was that> long already after 3 months. I have not doubt that if> I could have kept growing it for the rest of the year,> I would have had hair long enough to pull back> comfortably and stylishly.> It was tempting, but I gave it up. Here's why.> First of all, my job requires high visibility and> credibility for a government agency. I just couldn't> risk losing any credibility because of the length of> my hair. I know that is a lousy reason...but it is> reality, and I do cherish my job. The culture of my> agency just doesn't allow for men with long> hair....especially from its "spokesperson".> Secondly, and more importantly, I found myself> becoming too interested and almost obsessed with my> hair. It was becoming too important and was> distracting me from higher priority issues with my> life. I could just feel myself getting more obsessed> as my hair got longer. I didn't think it was healthy.> I am comfortable with my ultimate decision. In a world> where people are not judged by such things as hair> length, I might have stayed with it. But with a family> to think about and a job that is important to> me....and the fact that I don't want to be too selfish> with my own desires...this is the best decision at> this time.> I'm not trying to be a martyr in denying my desire.> But I just don't think I was ready to go through with> wearing my hair long.> I even shaved off my mustache after 22 years. Talk> about a different look!> Thank you all for the encouragement and great> dialogue. You are all thoughtful people and I would be> the first one to encourage anyone else to follow their> dreams. I hope I didn't let any of you down by giving> in. I'm still a huge fan of long hair (especially on> women!) and will keep reading comments on this board> with great interest.> Al