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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
> How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly> have appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate> treatment as such.Maybe I'm missing something, but didn't bb break up his family, largely due to a *haircut* by his wife? And if these men are limiting their searches for wives to only those women with long hair, how is that showing "appreciation for a woman as a person"?Maybe it's too late at night for me to be responding, but I'll be blunt. It seems as if a few people here are basing an entire person's worth or beauty on the length of her *hair*! This just seems very psychologically unhealthy to me. I think there are a lot of things more important in life than hair, yet there seems to be an undue emphasis placed on it.It's one thing to appreciate hair. But it's another to be so wrapped up in it to the exclusion of overlooking other attributes of people.
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
One day> she suprised me at work with her new HAIRCUT!!!!> Noticed I said SURPRISED me. There was never any> dicussion of how I felt. Never even a hint!!! And her> new LOOK was incredibly horrible!!! To this day I> think it was on purpose!!!!> Needless to say, everything else in the marriage was> falling apart,too. And it ended, not just because of a> haircut, but it did play a significant part in our> failing relationship because the trust and mutual> decision making was gone.>I was married for sixteen years bb and I would have never thought of mentioning to my husband about having a haircut plus I am sure that she felt she look more attractive that way because it is a female nature to want to look attractive . Lets face it bb it really didn't matter what either one of you did at that point. It was the end of the marriage and the hair was just an extra needle in the back.Diane
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Jena View Drop Down
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>They suggest we dress> a step above the students in order to look> professional,My TAs always wore jeans and t-shirts! As a grad student, taking classes, teaching, and doing research, I doubt you'll have much time to think about appearance, in all honesty.I don't think how you wear your hair will make a big difference one way or another. The exception might be if you start wearing exceptionally frilly or "little girlish" type of ribbons or barrettes, which most likely will detract from your status. Although we all have an interest in hair on this board, I don't really think your students will pay much attention, unless you wear your hair in a very unusual fashion or as I mentioned above, try to draw attention to it with several accessories. Simple is probably best. If you're running late, a quick scrunchie in the back will do the trick!Best wishes in grad school, Kim! :-)
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Erika View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Erika Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
> Isn't it a bit superficial to base a relationship on> the length of a woman's hair!? Just a thought, but> perhaps this is why some people get the label of> "hair-obsessed."Well, I don't know bb personally, so I can't say for sure, but it would occur to me that that a preference for long hair over short hair is not really any different than a preference for tall over short height or blue over green eyes. Everyone has a different concept of beauty, and, where love is concerned, apperances do matter at least a little. Just a thought.Erika
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Erika View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Erika Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
Jena,Please be nicer. From his letter, it seems to me that the haircut was not the reason that the marriage fell apart. In fact, it sounds a lot to me like a case of a woman cutting her hair just to make her husband mad. (One of my friends did this when she was having a bad breakup with her boyfriend. It happens.) And excuse me if I am being "old fashioned," but I think that, in a healthy relationship, both partners should try to please the other. This means at least warning your husband if you are about to get a haircut you know he won't like. Nobody here ever said that they looked at hair over all other attributes of people. The hair issue is merely a beauty issue, and, while appearences attract initially, it takes more than appearences to hold a relationship together. Form my readings of their posts, these men seem to acknowlege that. Sorry if I was harsh, but I don't like it when people throw verbal punches at each other.Erika> Maybe I'm missing something, but didn't bb break up> his family, largely due to a *haircut* by his wife?> And if these men are limiting their searches for wives> to only those women with long hair, how is that> showing "appreciation for a woman as a> person"?> Maybe it's too late at night for me to be responding,> but I'll be blunt. It seems as if a few people here> are basing an entire person's worth or beauty on the> length of her *hair*! This just seems very> psychologically unhealthy to me. I think there are a> lot of things more important in life than hair, yet> there seems to be an undue emphasis placed on it.> It's one thing to appreciate hair. But it's another to> be so wrapped up in it to the exclusion of overlooking> other attributes of people.
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Mark View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
>Jade,I love ladies with long hair. It is not asking very muchto requested a lady to grow her hair out. Ladiescut their hair as resentment against men. There are avery large number of men in this country,that wanta lady to grow all the hair that she can show.Long hair,is pretty,brilliant,a work of artistic enhancement. Long hair on a lady is for a man,to appreciate,and there are lot of men who love long hair on ladies.From the bible,God said "A womans long hair is her crowningglory" Those ladies that do cut their long hair againstthe will of man,are full of resentment against a man,but only hurt theirself.
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Mark View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
>ERICA,A lot of short hair females are jealous of other ladieswith long hair. That is why the husbands in my town,take care of their wives long hair,which includes,washing,shampooing,a slight one half inch trims. Thereare so many female beauticians who cut a ladies longhair,close to the scalp,with stunning speed,with scissors.Thats why the number of beauty shops has decreased.It seems that there are some women,that are so eagerto cut another womans long waist length hair,because someladies are so jealous of other ladies waist length hair.A lady who cuts her long hair against a mans will is loadedwith resentment. The lady only really hurts herself.A man is being very reasonable for asking a lady to growlong hair.
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Zorak View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zorak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> Maybe I'm missing something, but didn't bb break up> his family, largely due to a *haircut* by his wife?Well, maybe there were other problems. too....but essentially that appears to be the proverbial "camel's-back-breaking-straw" that ended it all.> And if these men are limiting their searches for wives> to only those women with long hair, how is that> showing "appreciation for a woman as a person"?They are not. To them a woman is only her hair. That is pretty shallow, IMO.> Maybe it's too late at night for me to be responding,> but I'll be blunt. It seems as if a few people here> are basing an entire person's worth or beauty on the> length of her *hair*! This just seems very> psychologically unhealthy to me.No doubt. It is kinda what I have been saying for months: people who will not even consider cutting (or changing in any way) their hair are not healthy in their minds.> It's one thing to appreciate hair. But it's another to> be so wrapped up in it to the exclusion of overlooking> other attributes of people.Amen, sister :-)Z.
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
I don't like it when> people throw verbal punches at each other.If voicing an alternative point-of-view is seen as throwing verbal punches, what would you like to see discussed in the "politics" forum?Perhaps you and Mark could discuss how ladies who cut their hair are all evil and jealous and masculine! ;-) Oh, I'm just kidding you. But seriously, if no other view than "long is the only true feminine style" for women is constantly touted and anything else is seen as threatening, then you've just proved JerkyFlea's point that this is truly a long-hair site with little or no room for other opinion.Also, people seem to take things soooo seriously around here. Hair is certainly an interesting subject, but some people not only can't joke about it at all, but seem to view it as a life-or-death situation. I agree that that we need to be civil, but it seems that it's okay to trash someone who cuts hair (Brian on the personals page) but anyone who doesn't agree that long hair is the ultimate is seen as antagonistic to the "cause." That's extremely one-sided and elitest, don't you think?Hair is hair. It is often beautiful giftwrap, but if you wrap your kitchen trash up in a beautiful box, it doesn't change the contents inside.
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Zorak View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zorak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> Jena, Please be nicer.She has in no way be "not nice"....she merely has pointed out that some around here are far too obsessed with long hair, and need to re-examine their state of mind.> From his letter, it seems to me that the haircut was not> the reason that the marriage fell apart. In fact, it> sounds a lot to me like a case of a woman cutting her> hair just to make her husband mad.OR.....just MAYBE the husband had been an extreme "long hair tyrant" for an extended period of time, and the woman was just exercising her individual rights to change her appearance to suit herself????Get a life! Changing one's appearance from time to time by cutting ones hair is MUCH MORE NORMAL than NEVER EVER cutting one's hair at all.There is far too much of a kind of sick "group think mentality" around here that should be examined carefully by each individual who is a participant in this board.> And excuse me if I am being "old fashioned," but I think> that, in a healthy relationship, both partners should> try to please the other.Hey, no doubt this is true. BUT, you reach a point of tyranny when you insist that your partner NOT do something of such a highly personal nature as get a haircut.This is not like making decisions about money or such....this is about a person's self-image. Any normal person will sooner or later "rebel" against such tyranny as their partner "forbidding" them to cut their hair.> This means at least warning your husband if you are about> to get a haircut you know he won't like.Yes, but in many cases where they couple has discussed this issue, one partner may KNOW from past experience that simply bringing up the subject yet again is just the genesis of another argument.So, sometimes ACTION is the only real alternative. Given bb's attitudes about "long hair", I can guess that this is what happened.Z.
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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>> proved JerkyFlea's point that this is truly a> long-hair site with little or no room for other> opinion.For the record Jena JerkyFlea never proved that point. He tried to use examples that weren't well represented at times and those participants corrected and challenge him.> Also, people seem to take things soooo seriously> around here. Hair is certainly an interesting subject,> but some people not only can't joke about it at all,> but seem to view it as a life-or-death situation. I> agree that that we need to be civil, but it seems that> it's okay to trash someone who cuts hair (Brian on the> personals page) but anyone who doesn't agree that long> hair is the ultimate is seen as antagonistic to the> "cause." That's extremely one-sided and> elitest, don't you think?Jena did you read my message to Jerky Flea that is title heart to heart? If so I would appreciate your understanding. Don't sweap this seriousness under the rug as I experience being stalked by a long hair cutter and believe me you would be thinking totally diffirent and seeing things on a diffirent view if you felt your life was in danger. Many people are very aware of the extremes that some people will take . I would appreciate a certain amount of respect . Maybe some of us didn't know how to express the concerns.All that situation had nothing to do with long vs short. Don't you understand this?> Hair is hair.Yes Jena hair is hair and sadly enought I wish some people would use it as a crime.JerkyFlea was totally off base and where is he now?
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
>>> Yes Jena hair is hair and sadly enought I wish some> people would use it as a crime.What I really meant to write was sadly enought I wish some peoplle wouldn't use hair .I couldn't catch my mistake in time sorry
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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>> Get a life! Changing one's appearance from time to> time by cutting ones hair is MUCH MORE NORMAL than> NEVER EVER cutting one's hair at all.That is only an opinion Zorak and by saying this you are not respecting others. Some people might think your atttitude of changing everything is not so normal also. ( Diane)> There is far too much of a kind of sick "group> think mentality" around here that should be> examined carefully by each individual who is a> participant in this board.Who gives you the right to be so mentally abusive on everyone? ( Diane)>> This is not like making decisions about money or> such....this is about a person's self-image. Any> normal person will sooner or later "rebel"> against such tyranny as their partner> "forbidding" them to cut their hair.Yes that is true that when there isn't any give and take a relationship will fall apart but within a short period of time you guys have dissected bb marriage without knowing one thing about either of them. I am very appauled by such behavior. People go through a lot of pain in a divorce no need to make them feel so little on this board ( Diane)>>
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
>>> A lady who cuts her long hair against a mans will is> loaded> with resentment. The lady only really hurts herself.> A man is being very reasonable for asking a lady to> grow> long hair.Excuse me Mark?????????First of all before you start on me after this post. I will tell you that I am a pro long hair person and I have have long thick hair down to my waist and plan to grow it down to my knees. I am a very active participant on the topic of long hair on the internet okay. I take vitamins for it to grow faster. I take care of my hair.First of all a man does not own a woman. We are not slaves.We are not some rare mammel that has long hair and is a rare breed of cat of some sort. IN the marriage there better be some give and take and comprimises to make that marriage work and not this I am more powerful than you woman attitude etc. If someone goes against someone else wishes then maybe the other party should question if they were reasonable in asking and if there was some give and take and appreciation of the person that person is supposely married for life!!People marry people and should accept them for who they are and if they marry them to change them in any shape or form or have these expectation then expect to be married a million times as every marriage will fail. So yes at times it could be very unreasonable to expect someone to grow their hair.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lady Godiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
I find your assessment here odd, because to grow hair long requires many years. So, to follow my concept, the "mature" person would have the long hair, while the "immature" person would have short hair. Not really my definitions of those two words, just just a curious thought. :-)Jennifer Eve> In general, I agree with the opinion that short hair> on a woman (reasonably short, like shoulder-length or> bob styled, not "punked" or> "buzzed" or "butched") is far more> professional than long hair in a bun or braid....that> seems just a little to immature, IMO.
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
Dear Diane,>I experience being stalked by a long hair> cutter and believe me you would be thinking totally> diffirent and seeing things on a diffirent view if you> felt your life was in danger.I'm very sorry to hear that! Certainly, I've never had that experience, and I can understand your being defensive of long hair. But it's the non-acceptance of any type of other hair that is at the heart of the matter.Interestingly enough, someone pointed out another site to me recently, which is almost the exact opposite of this one. It's: www.haircut.net There are stills from videos there that show women with waist-length hair literally getting it all shaved off!! I kid you not! I personally do not find extremely short hair on women attractive or feminine, but that is my opinion, and if these women honestly want to shave their heads and it makes them feel feminine, well, it's a free country! And undoubtedly, I think it would be an educated guess that when some of these women with bald heads or super close crops are out in public, they are harassed. It is no more right or wrong to harass a woman with long hair than it is one with short hair.>Many people are very> aware of the extremes that some people will take .I think that's what I'm trying to point out here. I honestly love long hair. I personally feel more feminine and sexy with long hair. But when one has an extremist view (such as "only long hair is feminine and sexy" or "only short hair is feminine and sexy") any arguments made tend to be invalidated because an extremist position usually indicates an unwillingness to listen to any views that don't support their own.> I would appreciate a certain amount of respect .I do understand and am sincerely trying to present ideas and debate issues, not personalities. I think it's also important to respect those who don't agree that long hair is the ultimate in femininity.> Maybe> some of us didn't know how to express the concerns.> All that situation had nothing to do with long vs> short. Don't you understand this?As I see it, the issue is hair. When someone like Mark starting spewing the same things over and over (women lose their female identity, *all* men love long hair, and so forth), I'll be honest -- it sounds so ridiculous that I almost want to go out and cut my hair shorter! Just kidding...I am not a "long-hair" enthusiast and I am not a "short-hair" enthusiast. But what I see here is people's lives totally revolving around the issue of hair and anyone who threatens their views with any other views is seen as evil.I'm not sure how to state this more plainly! What I see here is that long hair is the only accepted feminine style. We all have preferences, and that's great. But a preference for long hair is different from excluding others because they don't have long hair.Those who claim they are discriminated against because of the length of their hair are exhibiting the same behavior by being unsupportive of shorter hair.> Yes Jena hair is hair and sadly enought I wish some> people would [not] use it as a crime.I don't see anyone here saying that long hair is a crime. Although I'm sure Mark would say that short hair is a crime! And he is entitled to his opinion.> JerkyFlea was totally off base and where is he now?Probably enjoying his holiday weekend thinking, "I'm glad I'm not anywhere near a computer." ;-)Sincerely,Jena
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Mark View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> Dear JENAYou are free to cut your hair,nobody is stopping you.I have right to express my opionion. Well maybe youwill find the new hair style ideas at www.haircut.net.website that shows all the charming bald women.Feel free to get any hair style you want,Jena, I am justexpressing my opionion. I am sure all the ladies atwww.haircut.net site would be happy to give you closeshave and bald head,if you want it Jena.
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
And Mark should realize that he does not speak for *all* men anymore than you or I could speak for *all* women!Just a thought here....could you imagine this discussion if you substituted the word "fingernails" for the word "hair"!?! So then we'd get to argue over what length of nails constitutes the most femininity, and whether a curved or a square end is more flattering to the finger, and.... {grin}It makes the entire discussion seem rather silly, does it not?
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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> I'm very sorry to hear that! Certainly, I've never had> that experience, and I can understand your being> defensive of long hair. But it's the non-acceptance of> any type of other hair that is at the heart of the> matter.Okay I will give you that one Jena but please do use the Brian situation because the responses were really based on what they knew about the hair crime etc and nothing to do with acceptance . The only thing I am defensive about is the fact that some people would actually come after me because I have long hair and they feel it is their rights to cut it and that is a crime. I am talking about attacks on the streets etc. ( Diane)> Interestingly enough, someone pointed out another site> to me recently, which is almost the exact opposite of> this one. It's: www.haircut.net There are stills from> videos there that show women with waist-length hair> literally getting it all shaved off!! I kid you not!IT was someone like that stalked me (Diane)I> personally do not find extremely short hair on women> attractive or feminine, but that is my opinion, and if> these women honestly want to shave their heads and it> makes them feel feminine, well, it's a free country!It is really based on personalities (Diane)>> I am not a "long-hair" enthusiast and I am> not a "short-hair" enthusiast.It is obvious I tend to be a long hair enthusiast but of course I really do appreciate short hair. Heck I was a short hair lady once (Diane)But what I> see here is people's lives totally revolving around> the issue of hair and anyone who threatens their views> with any other views is seen as evil.We get that false idea because it is a hair web site. (Diane)>>> I don't see anyone here saying that long hair is a> crime. Although I'm sure Mark would say that short> hair is a crime! And he is entitled to his opinion.lol lol well it is obvious that Mark long hair and we can't change his mind.I was talking about the crime that people commit against people with long hair. (Diane)
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Dave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> And Mark should realize that he does not speak for> *all* men anymore than you or I could speak for *all*> women!> Just a thought here....could you imagine this> discussion if you substituted the word> "fingernails" for the word> "hair"!?! So then we'd get to argue over> what length of nails constitutes the most femininity,> and whether a curved or a square end is more> flattering to the finger, and.... {grin}> It makes the entire discussion seem rather silly, does> it not?Oh Diane Thats another fetish all on its own and people fromthe long nail community are most likely discussing this very topic check out the nail bytes message board for answerDaveT.O
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