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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> Oh Diane Thats another fetish all on its own and> people from> the long nail community are most likely discussing> this very topic check out the nail bytes message board> for answer> Dave> T.OI never mentioned anything. Why are you addressing this to me?Diane
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> Well, I don't know bb personally, so I can't say for> sure, but it would occur to me that that a preference> for long hair over short hair is not really any> different than a preference for tall over short height> or blue over green eyes. Everyone has a different> concept of beauty, and, where love is concerned,> apperances do matter at least a little. Just a> thought.> ErikaHi ErikaTHANK YOU very much for a few words in my defense. I do have a preference for long hair. An obsession? I don't think so. As for someone's cruel comments that I broke up my marriage due to my ex-wife's haircut, that wasn't the case at all. Yes, the marriage was becoming sour, and I think that the haircut was a VERY SYTRONG message to me that the love was gone. For anyone who thought that our breakup was totally due to a haircut, how shallow of a person do you think I could be??????? Our lives together were based on so much more than just HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!The haircut may have been as someone suggested "the straw that broke the camel's back"!!Thanks again for some sensible thoughts in my defense. Now can we please DROP the subject and move on to other issues.Thanksbb
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Dave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
Where to begin...1) Erika, I agree 100% with what you said(http://www.hairboutique.com/hairpolitics.pl?read=2194), which was:> Nobody here ever said that they looked at hair over all other> attributes of people. The hair issue is merely a beauty issue,> and, while appearences attract initially, it takes more than> appearences to hold a relationship together. Form my readings> of their posts, these men seem to acknowlege that.2) Thank you, Jade, for your kind words:> How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly have> appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate treatment> as such.Jena's reply: (http://www.hairboutique.com/hairpolitics.pl?read=2190)> If these men are limiting their searches for wives to only> those women with long hair, how is that showing "appreciation> for a woman as a person">> Maybe it's too late at night for me to be responding, but I'll> be blunt. It seems as if a few people here are basing an entire> person's worth or beauty on the length of her *hair*! This just> seems very psychologically unhealthy to me. I think there are a> lot of things more important in life than hair, yet there seems> to be an undue emphasis placed on it.>> It's one thing to appreciate hair. But it's another to be so wrapped> up in it to the exclusion of overlooking other attributes of people.Jena, I am at a loss to understand where you fabricated your ideasabout my supposed dating style and my supposed basis of evaluationof a person's worth. Please do not put words into my mouth whichI have not stated, and which are inconsistent with my point of view.I feel that you have erroneously put me in the same category as BB.3) Deana, thank you for your kind words re: my compliments to theladies on the board. It's nice to know that you appreciate them.4) Jena and Deana, for what it's worth, it may interest you to knowthat my ex-wife's hair was short-to-medium length for the 12 yearsthat we were dating/married. Her not having long hair did notpreclude me from being in love with her, neither was it a factorin our breakup!5) Jena said:> And if these men are limiting their searches for wives> to only those women with long hair, how is that> showing "appreciation for a woman as a person"?Zorak's response:> They are not. To them a woman is only her hair. That is> pretty shallow, IMO.Zorak -- the same question I ask of Jena applies to you also...Who are you to be my spokesman? I can speak for myself wellenough, so "no thanks" to you for mis-speaking on my behalf.That you think you can sum up my feelings on the subject, andsay so in a very derogatory manner toward my character, seemsto be rather presumptuous of you.Zorak also said:> It is kinda what I have been saying for months: people who> will not even consider cutting (or changing in any way)> their hair are not healthy in their minds.I fail to understand the association you draw betweenmental well-being and frequent hairstyle changes...Zorak also said:> ... she merely has pointed out that some around here are far> too obsessed with long hair, and need to re-examine their> state of mind.Wouldn't it also be fair for someone to say that "some aroundhere are far too obsessed with *change* and need to re-examinetheir state of mind?"Zorak also said:> Changing one's appearance from time to time by cutting ones hair> is MUCH MORE NORMAL than NEVER EVER cutting one's hair at all."Normal" in the sense of "customary?" Yes. "Normal" froma mental health standpoint? Pure conjecture on your part.Zorak also said:> There is far too much of a kind of sick "group think mentality"> around here that should be examined carefully by each individual> who is a participant in this board.How's the self-examination going, Zorak? And what exactly isthis "group think mentality?" It's a shame that you are unableto discern each person's unique perspective here.6) Last, but not least, is a commentary, based on observationof Mark's posts. Mark began participating on these boardsusing various names, including Mark, Jack, and Bald Woman,variously advocating headshaving and/or very short haircuts,and later, long hair. Lately, Mark has been expressing strongopinions that women *should* wear long hair, which quiteunderstandably has begun to irritate some of the women onthis board. But then, he seems to have had a reversal.In his latest post, Mark said to Jena:> You are free to cut your hair,nobody is stopping you.> I have right to express my opionion. Well maybe you> will find the new hair style ideas at www.haircut.net.> website that shows all the charming bald women.> Feel free to get any hair style you want,Jena, I am just> expressing my opionion. I am sure all the ladies at> www.haircut.net site would be happy to give you close> shave and bald head,if you want it Jena.I ask -- is this what you would expect to hear from someonewho has been strongly advocating long hair? The real question,though is this: Given Mark's thinly-veiled preference for veryshort hair, might Mark's statements that women *should* wearlong hair be intentionally extreme so as to irritate some ofthe women and dissuade them from wanting or having long hair?Dave
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Erika View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Erika Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> "long hair tyrant"Please refrain from making such assumptions about a person until you know the whole story. "Tyrant" is a very harsh accusation.> Get a life!Please wait until you know me well enough to know whether or not I have "a life" before you make such statements.> Changing one's appearance from time to> time by cutting ones hair is MUCH MORE NORMAL than> NEVER EVER cutting one's hair at all.Well, first of all, if I had "never ever" cut my hair it would be really ragged, and that just wouldn't do. I keep my hair long because *I like it that way*. I also object to people telling me how I should or (in this case) shouldn't wear my hair. In fact, that is the reason I grew my hair out in the first place.> This is not like making decisions about money or> such....this is about a person's self-image. Any> normal person will sooner or later "rebel"> against such tyranny as their partner> "forbidding" them to cut their hair.BB never said that he had forbidden her to cut her hair.
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Erika View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Erika Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:26pm
> If voicing an alternative point-of-view is seen as> throwing verbal punches, what would you like to see> discussed in the "politics" forum?No, I don't see voicing alternative opinions as "throwing verbal punches," but I don't like it when people make unfounded negative character assumptions about others without knowing the whole story.> But seriously, if no other> view than "long is the only true feminine> style" for women is constantly touted and> anything else is seen as threatening, then you've just> proved JerkyFlea's point that this is truly a> long-hair site with little or no room for other> opinion.I don't recall saying anything like that.> Also, people seem to take things soooo seriously> around here. Hair is certainly an interesting subject,> but some people not only can't joke about it at all,> but seem to view it as a life-or-death situation. I> agree that that we need to be civil, but it seems that> it's okay to trash someone who cuts hair (Brian on the> personals page) but anyone who doesn't agree that long> hair is the ultimate is seen as antagonistic to the> "cause." That's extremely one-sided and> elitest, don't you think?But I don't view long hair as "the cause" or the "ultimate." I merely like to keep my own hair long. I don't like people telling me that I should cut it. The reason why I don't object to being encouraged to keep my hair long is that the long hair was my idea in the first place and people who encourage me to keep it long are only restating my point of view, so to speak. Other people can keep their hair any way they like it.> Hair is hair. It is often beautiful giftwrap, but if> you wrap your kitchen trash up in a beautiful box, it> doesn't change the contents inside.It is taking a considerable amount of mental effort on my part not to be severely offended by that remark.Erika
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Erika View Drop Down
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Oh, I forgot to remind you, Jena, that my plea for peace on the Brian issue was directed at both sides of the argument.Erika
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I said:> Hair is hair. It is often beautiful giftwrap, but if> you wrap your kitchen trash up in a beautiful box, it> doesn't change the contents inside.You responded:> It is taking a considerable amount of mental effort on> my part not to be severely offended by that remark.It was a general comment, not directly at you personally or anyone else. I think this is part of the problem. Many here seem to be so ultra-sensitive that nothing can ever really be discussed without having someone taking comments personally or becoming offended by another view. I made the comment based on the impression (and perhaps I was wrong) that some men looked first at the outside package, and if the hair length didn't meet their specificiations, the inside of the package was never opened. A diamond ring can easily be thrown inside a Cracker Jack box....I did not mean to offend, but rather to point out that with the information given, that many seemed to limit their choices based on hair length, and to me, that seems a bit superficial. However, after reading Dave's comments, I do believe I unfairly lumped him together with bb, who did in fact say that his wife's haircut was a "significant" factor in their divorce.
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> Where to begin...> 1) Erika, I agree 100% with what you said>> (http://www.hairboutique.com/hairpolitics.pl?read=2194),> which was:> 2) Thank you, Jade, for your kind words:> Jena's reply:> (http://www.hairboutique.com/hairpolitics.pl?read=2190)> Jena, I am at a loss to understand where you> fabricated your ideas> about my supposed dating style and my supposed basisHey Dave!!!!!!WHAT caregory is it that I am IN?????? This whole board has become nutso!!!! YES, I do prefer and love LONG HAIR on women, but I am certainly not shallow enough to base the entire relationship on her hair. YES, I did say that my marriage broke up, but it certainly wasn't solely because of her unexpected haircut!! And I agree with many of those who commented that I should be looking for the person, not the hair!! COME ON!!!!! If I was just looking for the HAIR I could just go out and buy a blow-up doll and put a wig on her!!!!!I've had it with this thread!!!!!!!!! Let's get back to some sanity here!! As you all know by now, yes, I prefer long hair. But it is not an obsession, and I am not different enough from any of you to be placed in some kind of CATEGORY!!!! WE ALL HAVE and are entitled to our opinions. I think, especially in the USA,(no offense to other nations) THAT IS what POLITICS are all about, our freedom to express our opionions. Also, hopefully, our open-mindedness to at least consider another's viewpoint!!!Thanks.bb> of evaluation> of a person's worth. Please do not put words into my> mouth which> I have not stated, and which are inconsistent with my> point of view.> I feel that you have erroneously put me in the same> category as BB.> 3) Deana, thank you for your kind words re: my> compliments to the> ladies on the board. It's nice to know that you> appreciate them.> 4) Jena and Deana, for what it's worth, it may> interest you to know> that my ex-wife's hair was short-to-medium length for> the 12 years> that we were dating/married. Her not having long hair> did not> preclude me from being in love with her, neither was> it a factor> in our breakup!> 5) Jena said:> Zorak's response:> Zorak -- the same question I ask of Jena applies to> you also...> Who are you to be my spokesman? I can speak for myself> well> enough, so "no thanks" to you for> mis-speaking on my behalf.> That you think you can sum up my feelings on the> subject, and> say so in a very derogatory manner toward my> character, seems> to be rather presumptuous of you.> Zorak also said:> I fail to understand the association you draw between> mental well-being and frequent hairstyle changes...> Zorak also said:> Wouldn't it also be fair for someone to say that> "some around> here are far too obsessed with *change* and need to> re-examine> their state of mind?"> Zorak also said:> "Normal" in the sense of> "customary?" Yes. "Normal" from> a mental health standpoint? Pure conjecture on your> part.> Zorak also said:> How's the self-examination going, Zorak? And what> exactly is> this "group think mentality?" It's a shame> that you are unable> to discern each person's unique perspective here.> 6) Last, but not least, is a commentary, based on> observation> of Mark's posts. Mark began participating on these> boards> using various names, including Mark, Jack, and Bald> Woman,> variously advocating headshaving and/or very short> haircuts,> and later, long hair. Lately, Mark has been expressing> strong> opinions that women *should* wear long hair, which> quite> understandably has begun to irritate some of the women> on> this board. But then, he seems to have had a reversal.> In his latest post, Mark said to Jena:> I ask -- is this what you would expect to hear from> someone> who has been strongly advocating long hair? The real> question,> though is this: Given Mark's thinly-veiled preference> for very> short hair, might Mark's statements that women> *should* wear> long hair be intentionally extreme so as to irritate> some of> the women and dissuade them from wanting or having> long hair?> Dave
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Dave,I read your posts again. I did unfairly put you together with bb who said that his wife's haircut was a significant factor leading to their divorce. I did put words into your mouth, and I resent when that happens to me. I humbly apologize.>Given Mark's thinly-veiled preference> for very> short hair, might Mark's statements that women> *should* wear> long hair be intentionally extreme so as to irritate> some of> the women and dissuade them from wanting or having> long hair?Keen eye!! I sincerely am growing my hair yet when I read how I *should* have long hair to "please" my man, it almost does give me the urge to cut it! {grin} However don't worry, I haven't touched it and will not until my next 1/8" - 1/4" trim. ;-)
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> 3) Deana, thank you for your kind words re: my> compliments to the> ladies on the board. It's nice to know that you> appreciate them.I don't get many, so it really bothered me to see you get hit with all this.> 4) Jena and Deana, for what it's worth, it may> interest you to know> that my ex-wife's hair was short-to-medium length for> the 12 years> that we were dating/married. Her not having long hair> did not> preclude me from being in love with her, neither was> it a factor> in our breakup!I feel somewhat responsible for this unleashing, because I said (or posted) something without knowing all the facts. I do this over and over and seem to never learn. Until I move out of my "Glass House", I'll try to keep the stones in the closet. I guess I do not deserve your compliments.
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> Dave,> I read your posts again. I did unfairly put you> together with bb who said that his wife's haircut was> a significant factor leading to their divorce. I did> put words into your mouth, and I resent when that> happens to me. I humbly apologize.> Keen eye!! I sincerely am growing my hair yet when I> read how I *should* have long hair to> "please" my man, it almost does give me the> urge to cut it! {grin} However don't worry, I haven't> touched it and will not until my next 1/8" -> 1/4" trim. ;Hey Jena!!!!!!!!!!!Put the stones down!! Read my re-post to Dave's last comment and quit putting me into the nutso category. I have feelings and opinions like every other person who posts on this board. AND I am open-minded enough to AT LEAST CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Put the stones down, or start covering all the glass in YOUR house. I have had it with your put-downs and categorizations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bb
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>> haircut!! And I agree with many of those who commented> that I should be looking for the person, not the> hair!! COME ON!!!!! If I was just looking for the HAIR> I could just go out and buy a blow-up doll and put a> wig on her!!!!!bb I know what you were trying to say. Don't worry about it . It is no big deal. Sometimes it gets a bit hairy around here. (Diane)>
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> bb I know what you were trying to say. Don't worry> about it . It is no big deal. Sometimes it gets a bit> hairy around here. (Diane)Thanks, again, Diane!!It's a good thing that we have a referee here, and a bell!!, to put me back in my corner of the ring once in a while.bb
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>For the record Jena JerkyFlea never proved that point. He>tried to use examples that weren't well represented at>times and those participants corrected and challenge him.Nope, only challenged by Lady Godiva/Jennifer Eve (not sure I understand the dichotomy there) and I think her counter-argument was weak. I stand by what I said...and fully expect her to respond nastily to this since I probably won't post it on her thread.> JerkyFlea was totally off base and where is he now?Wow, but most of this discussion is proving my point.And, it being Labor Day weekend in the US while this discussion was taking place, I, like most folks, was on vacation.JFRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:28pm
> Hi there. I was wondering if there were people out> there who teach and happen to have longer than average> hair. I am starting a new job as a teaching assistant,> which I have never done before. They suggest we dress> a step above the students in order to look> professional, which I have no problem with, but I am a> little anxious about my hairstyle. I think a bun may> seem either matronly or like I'm trying too hard, but> I'm not so sure I should have my hair waving down my> back, either. I want to look sort of authoritative> without being school-marmish (I am a grad student,> they are freshmen; I'm about ten years older than they> are, but look pretty young). Is there anyone out there> in a similar position with some advice? Thanks in> advance.> KimJust some very quick thoughts on the original purpose of this thread:1) Kim, being in college, you have a TREMENDOUS amount of leeway, especially if you are a TA. I remember having male TAs that looked like they had awakened in the car that they had been sleeping in for the last month and stumbled directly from there into class.Given that, A nice wardrobe with neat hair will most likely be more than a cut above the students anyway. Don't cut it unless you really want to.2) If it helps, one of the teaches that I'll always remember was my 5th grade teacher, Miss Stuart. Blue eyes, waist-length black hair. Think Lynda Carter in her "Wonder Woman" days. One of the more entertaining scenes during the year was when the school nurse did a lice check (they did them every year back then for some reason) and she did Miss Stuart as well. By the end, she looked like a brunette Cousin It. =)JFRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:28pm
> Hi there. I was wondering if there were people out> there who teach and happen to have longer than average> hair. I am starting a new job as a teaching assistant,> which I have never done before. They suggest we dress> a step above the students in order to look> professional, which I have no problem with, but I am a> little anxious about my hairstyle. I think a bun may> seem either matronly or like I'm trying too hard, but> I'm not so sure I should have my hair waving down my> back, either. I want to look sort of authoritative> without being school-marmish (I am a grad student,> they are freshmen; I'm about ten years older than they> are, but look pretty young). Is there anyone out there> in a similar position with some advice? Thanks in> advance.> KimJust some very quick thoughts on the original purpose of this thread:1) Kim, being in college, you have a TREMENDOUS amount of leeway, especially if you are a TA. I remember having male TAs that looked like they had awakened in the car that they had been sleeping in for the last month and stumbled directly from there into class.Given that, A nice wardrobe with neat hair will most likely be more than a cut above the students anyway. Don't cut it unless you really want to.2) If it helps, one of the teachers that I'll always remember was my 5th grade teacher, Miss Stuart. Blue eyes, waist-length black hair. Think Lynda Carter in her "Wonder Woman" days. One of the more entertaining scenes during the year was when the school nurse did a lice check (they did them every year back then for some reason) and she did Miss Stuart as well. By the end, she looked like a brunette Cousin It. =)JFRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
3 pm is simultaneously too late and too early to start anything.
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> I don't get many, so it really bothered me to see you> get hit with all this.> I feel somewhat responsible for this unleashing,> because I said (or posted) something without knowing> all the facts. I do this over and over and seem to> never learn. Until I move out of my "Glass> House", I'll try to keep the stones in the> closet. I guess I do not deserve your compliments.Deana,Your expression of humility is charming. I readily forgive you your transgression. Keep your chin up and smile!Dave
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BB,I'm sorry to have put you off. You seem to be a good man. I was trying to emphasize to Jena that she ascribed your words to me (and as we know, your words were wildly twisted). Doesn't permit me to be careless in my response to her, though. So, once again, I'm sorry.Dave
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