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teachers with long hair

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Kim, the Not-So-Newbi View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:24pm
Hi there. I was wondering if there were people out there who teach and happen to have longer than average hair. I am starting a new job as a teaching assistant, which I have never done before. They suggest we dress a step above the students in order to look professional, which I have no problem with, but I am a little anxious about my hairstyle. I think a bun may seem either matronly or like I'm trying too hard, but I'm not so sure I should have my hair waving down my back, either. I want to look sort of authoritative without being school-marmish (I am a grad student, they are freshmen; I'm about ten years older than they are, but look pretty young). Is there anyone out there in a similar position with some advice? Thanks in advance.Kim
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Deana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Deana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:24pm
Hi, Kim! It might just be us two here tonight.I'll try to be of some help. I am not a teacher, but work in an grade school office. I also run the district sponsored before-school program. I have long hair, two or three inches below my bottom. I also aspire to be a teacher, and, after resolving some personal issues, will return to school to finish my education. This background may not be what you were hoping for, but may I give some suggestions?I've read both of your posts tonight, and we are also the same age! In your situation, you may want to hide your age somewhat. Some students this age still have a little growing up to do, and, if they perceive you to be "one of them", may enlist you to cover for thier lack of responsability. And ,yes, this may mean hiding some of your hair. Also out would be headbands, scrunchies, and the like. As an alterative to a bun, I think a long braid would be appropriate, but without any ornamentaition. This could get you started. Then, I would watch my peers, and emulate them.As for the over 40 issue, I think most ladies don't have long hair anymore when they reach that plateau. I think the "bar" has been lowered to around 25, as alot of ladies cut their hair when they have thier first child.
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Zorak View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zorak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:24pm
> As for the over 40 issue, I think most ladies don't> have long hair anymore when they reach that plateau. I> think the "bar" has been lowered to around> 25, as alot of ladies cut their hair when they have> thier first child.Just FYI: I have a graduate degree and have taught college courses as an adjunct, but being a man with a buzz-cut, I don't know much about the "women and long-hair" issue, only what I have observed. I do dress professionally (slacks and a nice shirt, tie is not a requirement at the university....in fact, some of the tenured profs wear t-shirts and sandals to class!)In general, I agree with the opinion that short hair on a woman (reasonably short, like shoulder-length or bob styled, not "punked" or "buzzed" or "butched") is far more professional than long hair in a bun or braid....that seems just a little to immature, IMO.Most of the women profs have pretty hair that is reasonably styled, a few have hair that is *very* nice to look at. Most have shoulder-length-or-above cuts.As to women cutting their hair after a child is born: YES, this is something that I have noticed MANY times throughout the years. I don't know if it is post-partum hormonal, or just a "ease of life" issue, but it is real. I have seen my neighbor down the street go from mid-back bouncy curls (really pretty hair) to shoulder-length curled under with bangs. Now she is again preggers, and she just last week showed up with a short haircut, chin-length and layers. Still, very pretty hair.My own wife is an example of someone who got a major cut right after marriage. She kept it long for the wedding and honeymoon, but within a few weeks of our return home, whack! All gone. Actually, that was pretty exciting for a newly married man, kinda like having a brand new lover :-)Cheers.Z.
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The other Dawn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The other Dawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:24pm
> Hi there. I was wondering if there were people out> there who teach and happen to have longer than averageMy advice as a certified teacher who has gone through all of this: be yourself! Dress nicely-- in other words no jeans, tennis shoes, etc. but don't worry too much about your hair. As long as it is TRIMMED REGULARLY so it looks healthy, no one really cares about your hair all that much. Of course, you may want to avoid some hair accessories (big pink bows and the like!) but as long as you are not overtly juvenile I wouldn't be too concerned.DawnRelated Link:The Piano Bloopers Page
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Dave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:24pm
> In general, I agree with the opinion that short hair> on a woman (reasonably short, like shoulder-length or> bob styled, not "punked" or> "buzzed" or "butched") is far more> professional than long hair in a bun or braid....that> seems just a little to immature, IMO.It's interesting to note how some people's perceptions of the maturity (or lack thereof) of others are associated with hair length. Objectively speaking, short hair is no more mature or professional than is long hair -- it's just shorter.> My own wife is an example of someone who got a major> cut right after marriage. She kept it long for the> wedding and honeymoon, but within a few weeks of our> return home, whack! All gone. Actually, that was> pretty exciting for a newly married man, kinda like> having a brand new lover :-)When in love, the idea of having a "brand new lover" is completely unappealing to me. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. The woman I marry someday will be the woman I want to be my lover for life. Along the lines of the old Billy Joel tune "I love you just the way you are."Dave
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:24pm
>> In general, I agree with the opinion that short hair> on a woman (reasonably short, like shoulder-length or> bob styled, not "punked" or> "buzzed" or "butched") is far more> professional than long hair in a bun or braid....that> seems just a little to immature, IMO.I see that you are there to add that extra spice when needed hey? lol Silly man ( teasing) Where you get this stuff? lol There is no truft to it at all. lolIn my children school we have an librarian that has long hair down to her buttocks and at times she wears it in a bun or a braid.In the upper grades I noticed my son has this wonderful strick female teacher that has long hair and often wears it loose.Last year my youngest son had this wonderful teacher and she also have long hair and she would braid it, or let it loose.Oh did I meantion the school guidence consuller has long hair down to her waist. She wears it loose.Now all these women are taken seriously.
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bb View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
> It's interesting to note how some people's perceptions> of the maturity (or lack thereof) of others are> associated with hair length. Objectively speaking,> short hair is no more mature or professional than is> long hair -- it's just shorter.> When in love, the idea of having a "brand new> lover" is completely unappealing to me. Different> strokes for different folks, I guess. The woman I> marry someday will be the woman I want to be my lover> for life. Along the lines of the old Billy Joel tune> "I love you just the way you are."> DaveI am with you all the way on this one, Dave!!!! When I do finally meet that special long-haired lover that I have been seeking, the last thing in the world that I would want her to do is go right out and have it CUT OFF!!!!!!!I want to share and enjoy that hair with her forever, or until she decides (hopefully never) that it is time to cut her hair.bb
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Jade21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jade21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
Kim,I just wanted to say that I know you will do well:)The other thing with regard to your actual question is that it's your attitude and demeanor and not your hair which will determine your positive or negative interaction with the students.It's like your somewhere between a student and a professor. Your not expected to know everything and don't project an image like you do:) With the college students, the fact that you are a student is a plus. You have been where they are. At the same time, since you have graduated from their level, you have to know how to get your message across re your expectations from day 1. Have a mental script, rather than trying to wing it:)At Hopkins, I can remember having TA's as young as 25. The vast majority of them looked just like "typical" college students. The best TA's I had were the ones who kept their distance in the sense that they had a job to do, which was to teach us, but also maintained a strong semblance of being a human being. No power trips, no unreasonable expectations, just GREAT guidance in the learning process and communication.All the Best,JadeP.S. Don't fight that baby face,girl:)Hi there. I was wondering if there were people out> there who teach and happen to have longer than average> hair. I am starting a new job as a teaching assistant,> which I have never done before. They suggest we dress> a step above the students in order to look> professional, which I have no problem with, but I am a> little anxious about my hairstyle. I think a bun may> seem either matronly or like I'm trying too hard, but> I'm not so sure I should have my hair waving down my> back, either. I want to look sort of authoritative> without being school-marmish (I am a grad student,> they are freshmen; I'm about ten years older than they> are, but look pretty young). Is there anyone out there> in a similar position with some advice? Thanks in> advance.> Kim
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Jade21 View Drop Down
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Dave and bb,Your words were beautiful and warmed my heart.How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly have appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate treatment as such.Much Love, Gentleman, from....Jade:)I am with you all the way on this one, Dave!!!! When I> do finally meet that special long-haired lover that I> have been seeking, the last thing in the world that I> would want her to do is go right out and have it CUT> OFF!!!!!!!> I want to share and enjoy that hair with her forever,> or until she decides (hopefully never) that it is time> to cut her hair.> bb
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Deana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Deana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
Dave & BB,Please don't limit your search for a soul mate to just us ladies with long hair. You may be overlooking the perfect life-long partner, just because her hair is not long. You may end up with a long-haired partner this way, but the relationship will not last if it is just based on a love of long hair. No one wins in a breakup, there is only heartache and sorrow. I honestly feel finding a true soul mate just happens, not when searching, but more unexpectedly. The work then begins by growing and nurturing that relationship. Who knows, the mate you find may see your passion for long hair and grow her hair long for you, or show you short hair can be just as desirable!However, I have to come forward and admit one thing: One of the reasons I keep my long is because guys do like it...(smile). And thanks, you two, for the many compliments you give on this board to us ladies with long hair!
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bb View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
> Dave & BB,> Please don't limit your search for a soul mate to just> us ladies with long hair. You may be overlooking the> perfect life-long partner, just because her hair is> not long. You may end up with a long-haired partner> this way, but the relationship will not last if it is> just based on a love of long hair. No one wins in a> breakup, there is only heartache and sorrow. I> honestly feel finding a true soul mate just happens,> not when searching, but more unexpectedly. The work> then begins by growing and nurturing that> relationship. Who knows, the mate you find may see> your passion for long hair and grow her hair long for> you, or show you short hair can be just as desirable!Thanks for all the kind words, Deana. You are probably right, that we should look at the person and not the hair when seeking a mate. BUT, if you find that very special person and she doesn't share your passion for long hair, then is she REALLY the right person??? I think that that is why I am drawn to the person who already has the HAIR to see if she IS the right PERSON!!! Does that make sense?Anyway, back to math, if you have 14 office workers and 12 husbands....................?bb
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
Isn't it a bit superficial to base a relationship on the length of a woman's hair!? Just a thought, but perhaps this is why some people get the label of "hair-obsessed."
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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if you find that very> special person and she doesn't share your passion for> long hair, then is she REALLY the right person??? I> think that that is why I am drawn to the person who> already has the HAIR to see if she IS the right> PERSON!!! Does that make sense?>First of all I read your reply about the school teacher and I understood that you would accept this special person how she is eventhougth one day she might change her mind and cut her hair. Right? Wrong?I wasn't going to post anything but the above message hit home. I went throught that situation with someone special in my life. IN my case he isn't a long hair lover but he is the perfect person. We learn to comprimised.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
> if you find that very> First of all I read your reply about the school> teacher and I understood that you would accept this> special person how she is eventhougth one day she> might change her mind and cut her hair. Right? Wrong?> I wasn't going to post anything but the above message> hit home. I went throught that situation with someone> special in my life. IN my case he isn't a long hair> lover but he is the perfect person. We learn to> comprimised.Hi Diane,Thanks for the comment. I read it, walked away and thought.One thing that you DON'T know is that I was married before. I persuaded her to grow her hair, and she did. And it grew and it grew, to below bra-strap length. At first, she only grew it for me, but then she saw its beauty and got many compliments on her hair and her looks. I have to say that in a crowd, she always stood out and I was always proud that she was my wife.Then came the baby. And then came the problems. And then came the arguments. And then came my long work hours. And.........you know where I'm leading. One day she suprised me at work with her new HAIRCUT!!!! Noticed I said SURPRISED me. There was never any dicussion of how I felt. Never even a hint!!! And her new LOOK was incredibly horrible!!! To this day I think it was on purpose!!!!Needless to say, everything else in the marriage was falling apart,too. And it ended, not just because of a haircut, but it did play a significant part in our failing relationship because the trust and mutual decision making was gone.I hope that gives you some insight into why I have remained single and where my thoughts were in my previous message.Your friend,bb
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Deana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Deana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
BB,It makes sense. You know in your heart what you want, not me, not even the new lady you might meet. If she does not share your passion for long hair, she may not be the right one for you, but you won't know for sure! We can not answer this, sitting at a keyboard. The answer will come from deep in your hearts, (yes, both of you!), and at that time you both will decide what is best.While we are doing math, try this on: How many phone calls does Deana have to make to her provider to read twelve new messages and post three more? So far, the answer is twenty, and I'm off line, now. Trying to get this one in...
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Jena View Drop Down
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BUT, if you find that very> special person and she doesn't share your passion for> long hair, then is she REALLY the right person???Do you really wish to base the entire relationship...on hair? Although it's wonderful to share passions with a spouse, it isn't imperative. In fact, often opposites attract! But I'm curious -- is there a particular reason that hair plays such a huge role in your life, in fact so huge that you wouldn't consider marrying anyone who doesn't share your passion?
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Jena View Drop Down
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>And it ended, not just because of a> haircut, but it did play a significant part in our> failing relationship because the trust and mutual> decision making was gone.I know this will sound very accusatory, but do you ever think that your interest in hair is perhaps overshadowing everything else in your life? Although it certainly would have been nice if your wife asked for your opinion before she cut her hair, the fact is that it is *her* hair.My husband very much loves long hair. When I cut it short, he was not happy at all with the haircut, but it never affected his love for me. Our relationship is too important to allow something as trivial and superficial as hair to ruin it.This is absolutely not meant to be a flame, but it sounds like your interest in hair really is an obsession and you're allowing it to dominate your life. I know, because I've been there. After I cut my hair, I HATED it and pretty much thought the world was coming to an end. Then, something just snapped inside and said, "Get a grip. It's *hair*. It grows. I'm no less feminine than before and my friends and family don't love me any less." And then my hair became.....simply hair and not an obsession.Just a thought.
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Dave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
I think we have all drifted alittle of topic. Dear Dawn be your self and were your hair wit pride in the most proffesional way you see fit. You may try it up one day ordown the next. I remember a teacher from my school days who always had her hair up. She always showed Authority andexpected the best of her students. The only time see took iteasy and really let her hair down was at the end of the school year and everybody wanted to see her long hair whichwas mid thigh length and she was not the most not likebeause her was so tough but was loved toward the end of the year because she knew when to let her hair down.DaveToronto> Dave and bb,> Your words were beautiful and warmed my heart.> How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly> have appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate> treatment as such.> Much Love, Gentleman, from....Jade:)> I am with you all the way on this one, Dave!!!! When I
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Mark View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
>Jena, The men in this country have a right to thefreedom and expression of their thoughts and ideas.The responsible and polite expression of my thoughtsand ideas on the hairboard,should be granted to me.There will always be men,who will have different thoughtsand ideas than you,Jena. This country is not a policestate for expression of what kind of hair styles men,want to see on ladies. There will always be people,with differing points of view,than what you have,Jena
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Jena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:25pm
I have never suggested that you (or anyone else) don't have a right to your opinion! I'm afraid you're introducing a brand-new topic to the discussion.
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