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Topic ClosedLong hair on boys ok or not?

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priyanka View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2002 at 5:27pm
Originally posted by Tina Tina wrote:

Things have been real hectic around here. I havn`t even turned on my computer for days. Thank you Deb for your post. It`s good for everyone to know that there are more long hair little boys out there that love their hair. We had a big Easter celebration at my favorite aunts house. I wasn`t going to go because all the family expected to see Robbie with short hair. My aunt convinced my to come anyway. We got up real early to shampoo, condition, and dry. I put it in a side pony for the 2+ hour drive so he wouldn`t lean against it in the car. We stopped at a rest stop right before we got there so I could take out the ponytail and brush it out. I really wanted everyone to notice how great it looked. I think my aunt had used some of her influence, because everyone was so nice. Even my evil sister-in-law mentioned how nice Robbie`s hair was getting. After dinner while we were cleaning up two of Robbie`s cousins asked if they could brush his hair. I said OK and they spent the next hour or so taking turns brushing and braiding. I was so proud of him; he never complained once. It seems like the family has finally realized that I`m not cutting it. I`m so glad because family is very important to me. Bye.

Tina

Dear sis tina,

I woulld like to correspond with you. If it is ok with you can ypu please drop me a email.

Luv

priyanka

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duke View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2002 at 9:09am
no, Ally, I would not stop him cutting his hair if I saw how beautiful it was. That would be like saying
if I had control over Catherine Zeta Jones, I would forbid her to cut her hair. Yeh right. I think Zeta
Jones has gorgeous hair, but it`s hers, not mine, and if by some fluke she became my ward, I would
not act as if I could control her. So why would I control your son? You are the one who decided to
grow his hair long. But it grows on his head. The thing I last asked is, if I didn`t make it clear, is do
you think you have the right to dictate to your son how to wear HIS hair? Apparently you do and
that`s sad. If you liked green mohawks, would you force your son to wear one?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2002 at 3:52am
Ally, what exactly do you mean by a "big knot"? (This is probably self-explanitary to everyone else, but unlike some, I`ve never had long hair, I would have loved to have waist-length hair as a little tacker).
Also, do you have any pictures of you and your son (same to you Tina)? It would be nice if those of us who are less.. knowledgable? About this could see what we are all talking about.
Cheers
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Ally View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2002 at 8:08pm
Hi Duke,

I really don`t know what you want to know about my son`s hair. I grew it long because I loved having long hair when I was a little girl, and I thought it would be fun for both of us to grow it out. I can tell by your posts that you are a good person who cares about others, but you really don`t know me or my son. If you could only see him sitting in front of the mirror brushing out his hair every morning, and how proud he is of it when he gets comments, you would never let him cut it either. He has honestly never asked for a cut until about a week after the braid in the locker incident. I really thought tying his braid in a big knot would solve all the problems, because it did keep it a good 12" above the waist. I didn`t really think of it as a girls style, just a cute way to control long hair. I guess doing it that way made the teasing worse, because that`s when he started keeping his hair under his jacket, even in the warmer weather, and asking for a haircut. Things are better now, he hasn`t mentioned a cut in a long time. He wore it down on saturday to his cousins b-day party. One of the moms didn`t know he was a boy, but when I told her she was so supportive. I really think we are going to keep it growing, because he has always loved it long. I probably havn`t answered all your questions, but I`m trying to be honest.

Ally
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duke View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2002 at 8:58am
Ally and Tina, instead of just ignoring us, please come out and tell us what we`re curious to
know: do you believe you have the right to force your sons to wear their hair long? Or to
have it chopped off against their will if the "bug bites" you? Why don`t you just come out
and say how much your sons` opinions mean to you. I know Robbie likes his long hair, but
theoretically, what if he didn`t? Just tell us how you view your sons, for crying out loud.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2002 at 10:53pm
Hi To Alley And Tina:

Just like to say that I support both of you and your sons for keeping up your courage to keep your hair long. Hair is absolutely beautiful when it is long. Especialy down to the waist. I certainly know how difficult it can be. I did have my my long before but I gave into pressure and got it cut. I regretted it ever since. I would never do it again. I feel bold with out it. There is also another reason that I do go through a difficult time when I grow my long hair. I also grow it long because I am a M to F Transgender. But I still would decide to grow it long whether or not I was doing this or not. I just love the feel of hair too much to ever let teasing get me down or to cut it ever again. Keep posting.

Robin
Long Hair is Awsome!!!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2002 at 7:39pm
Things have been real hectic around here. I havn`t even turned on my computer for days. Thank you Deb for your post. It`s good for everyone to know that there are more long hair little boys out there that love their hair. We had a big Easter celebration at my favorite aunts house. I wasn`t going to go because all the family expected to see Robbie with short hair. My aunt convinced my to come anyway. We got up real early to shampoo, condition, and dry. I put it in a side pony for the 2+ hour drive so he wouldn`t lean against it in the car. We stopped at a rest stop right before we got there so I could take out the ponytail and brush it out. I really wanted everyone to notice how great it looked. I think my aunt had used some of her influence, because everyone was so nice. Even my evil sister-in-law mentioned how nice Robbie`s hair was getting. After dinner while we were cleaning up two of Robbie`s cousins asked if they could brush his hair. I said OK and they spent the next hour or so taking turns brushing and braiding. I was so proud of him; he never complained once. It seems like the family has finally realized that I`m not cutting it. I`m so glad because family is very important to me. Bye.

Tina
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duke View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2002 at 10:31am
Oh excuse me - she didn`t say "hate mail" but "negative comments". Tina, what did you mean by
this? That those telling you to let your son do what he wants to with his hair are giving you
negative comments? Just because Robbie likes long hair doesn`t mean he doesn`t resent it if you
are FORCING him to keep it long. I`m not saying you are but you haven`t made it clear if you would
forbid him to cut it if he wanted to. If so you are being very selfish and Robbie may well grow up
with a deviancy. I am not kidding.
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duke View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2002 at 10:26am
Deb, no one much seems to ASSUME anything. Read the comments. Ally "did not know what to
do" when her son wanted a haircut. At any rate, even if they`re not forcing their sons with
finality, these moms may well spend a WHOLE lot of energy talking them out of it - I`m thinking
more of Ally than Tina here. But how come they never come forward and say why they`re like
this? Tina says she`s been ignoring "hate mail". No one hates you here, we`re just trying to get you
to do right by your children.
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Deb View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 30 2002 at 7:11pm
It seems like a lot of the posters think that the mothers of the two little boys are forcing them to keep their hair long. Maybe the boys want to keep their long hair. Robbie especially seems to like his. A few years ago I worked in a day care. One of my dutys was to drive the van around to the schools to pick up kids and take them back to the day care to wait for their moms. My first day I picked up a darling little 4th grade girl with near waist length blonde hair that everyone called Jessica. In the van, and back at day care she was called Jesse. Two weeks later I drove the kids on a saturday fieldtrip. I was making name tags for the kids with their first name and our company`s logo. On Jesse`s tag I wrote Jessica. When I gave it to her she started to cry. I was totally confused until one of the moms told me that Jesse was a boy. I was totally shocked. There was no way you could tell. He had pierced ears, and his clothes were very unisex. I went thru the same feelings that some of you are having. How can a mother do this to her son? The kids at day care were nice to him most of the time, but I can only imagine what he went thru at school. After getting to know Jesse and his mom I totally changed my mind. I could see that he really loved his hair. He had @ 2 hours to wait for his mom to pick him up, and after he finished his homework he would brush and generally play with his hair. The next year when his hair was even longer I was helping him with a school assignment. He had to write a paper about his favorite hobby. Guess what he wrote about? ( his hair ) Basically he wrote about how much he loved it, and didn`t mind the teasing, and thanked his mom for all her help. I`m starting to ramble now, but the point I`m trying to make is that even with all the teasing he has gone thru he still wanted to keep his hair. I haven`t worked there for over a year, but I ran into Jesse and his mom last Dec. while Xmas shoppin at the mall. His hair was in a braid @ 3-4 inches below his waist. I complimented him on how great it looked. He seemed so very happy and proud. So maybe we shouldn`t be so quick to judge. Everyone is different, and that`s what makes our world go round.

Deb
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 29 2002 at 9:42am
Duke/Sherry:

Thanks for your support. I do think it is the responsibility of every parent to listen to their child -- regardless of their age and ask what they want --Whehter it be Barney or Magic School Bus, hot mustard or ketchup -- hair choices should be no different. Yet many parents presume that kids need to be a certain age before the should be "allowed" to make personal choices about their bodies.

But perhaps those concepts (teaching kids to become independent adults are better left for another forum and another board.

s
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2002 at 8:02pm
From my own parenting experience 10 years old certainly have a very good idea what they want to wear and how they want to look. It even starts younger actually.
Bearup its nice to see someone else doing the same thing. I never dictated what my sons wanted to wear or how they wanted their hair done.
I strongly believe that when we encourage some decisions they grow up not scared of making major ones.

Sherry your comment made me laugh. First of all most nursing home are more fun than homes. They play cards, socialize and have more friends than they care to kept . I do agree with you about bullying. Sadly enough through experience I been a volumteer visitor for a hospital and I have seem some very kind older people who spent hours crying every night and I among others would huged them, phone them and play cards with them and share part of my life with them etc. and those same loveable people have extremely selfish children who don`t want to take care of their parents and those parents gave them the world.
Let`s not go there as I find this society extremely selfish to start with. Children need to respect their parents and parents are responsible for their children and at times decisions are not so easy to make and sure enough kids do grow up accusing their parents for stupid things and vise a versa. But at no times should a parent fear their children and the children should always respect their parent.
I do have to add that children today cannot assume that they can place their parents in a nursing home without their will power because of the wonderful little paper called power of attorney which allows any person to decide who will make those decisions and no family member can`t fight it.


dianefromcanada
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2002 at 1:03pm
hi i read ue messege and i agree with ur qstion boys shoulde be allowed to have long hair mail me any body interest ted mu id is shishu_009@hotmail.com
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2002 at 12:40pm
That`s some quality imput, Bearnup. It shows you really care. It also shows a greater
emotional intelligence than some of what`s been posted. Bravo.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2002 at 7:05am
Bearnup, you are truly a special parent. Unlike the other parents you are helping your child become an independent adult who can make decisions for themselves. And to the other parents, remember the children you bully into keeping the hair length YOU want is the same child that could be making the decision 40 years from now to put you in a nursing home- and never visiting you!
Once i know who I`m not then I`ll know who i am. ~alanis morissette~
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 27 2002 at 11:44pm
I have been quietly reading all the different post here -- I find it interesting that the mothers who have had their boys grow long hair really don`t list in their posts -- the long conversations they (the kid and themselves) have had over the hair issues, whether it be teasing at schoolm, the constant need to brush, shampooing, etc.

While I don`t have a 10 year old boy I am the proud parent of an almost 10 year old girl. Ellen asked us (her mom and me) to let her grow her hair long until she was about 6 years. That was when she decided she was tired of the brushing -- whether she did herseld or I helped her -- YES we did the detangling sprays) Ellen just wanted to have that "wash and go" style -- It was her decision to cut her waist length blond hair back above her collar -- It was tapered to the bottom ...

That lasted about two years.. She put up with kids making fun of her, calling her a boy.. But she wanted to keep it short. -- Then she decided to let it grow -- She actually asked me -- and my response was -- "It`s your head kid -- whatever you decide is fine with me. Just make sure thsi is something you want" (Ellen has been growing her`s out since age 8 -- it`s to the middle of her back)

It`s possible the mothers with long haired boys ijn this forum did have similar talks with their kids - it is just not evident from the naratives of these "special" mothers.

I think the REAL special parents arte those who assist the kids with making their own decisions - helping them make their way in the world. not choosing the path that "mamma knows best"

FYI - I think long healthy hair is attractive on both men and women. But, I would no more presume to make Ellen`s hair length choices then I would my wife`s. Also, I have been growing my hair since August 99 and plan to keep letting it grow.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 27 2002 at 10:14pm
Well Im a lil late on this one but I think its OK for a boy to have long hair just as long as he wats to. Don`t try to convince him not to, when I was 10 I had long hair and my mom wouldn`t let me cut it so I walked around cursin about it to my freinds. I think 10 is that age where kids are like "Its my head if I dont want this much hair on it Im gettin it cut.". I personally was very mad my mom wouldn`t let me get it cut. I got alot of positive comments but when kids said I had a low boys voice (i do ha) I would like cry abd sob. And people would say I acted boyish... Which I didnt really they just didnt like me, and I would get really upset. I hate the mother knows best thing because mother knows whats best for her, kid knows whats best for him. I am glad your kid wants his hair long, I personally think its cool, but just make sure he really wants it and hes just not saying hell keep it because he knows u wont let him cut it.

Also it seems weird to me most people think that 10 yr olds are really THAT young. In years yea, but Im almost 14, and i remember being 10, and I know that by that point I pretty much wanted to make my own decisions. Actually... to be honest im not even sure which kid is 10, lol I just read someones post who said "10 yr olds arent dumb" and I assumed one was... sorry, blonde brain, brown hair...
23 w/ waist length hair, I just love
mascara.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2002 at 11:20pm
Hi Ally,

We just have to ignore the negitive comments. I know that I have. Stevie`s hair sounds great. It might be even longer than Robbie`s It sounds like things are looking for up his hair. You`ve just got to keep it long no matter what. Cutting now will be a big mistake. Just because Robbie goes to a private school doesn;t mean he gets teased, He is called Roberta or Suzie (agirl with our last name ) all the time. I have been using Pantene products for over 3 months, and the difference is unbelievable. I know that everyone has different hair, but works for us, and, his tangles aren`t a problem anymore. He brushes and braids his hair every night and we are both so happy about how easy it is to work with. Keep us posted.

Tina
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2002 at 10:54pm
Hi Ally,

We just have to ignore the negitive comments. I know that I have. Stevie`s hair sounds great. It might be even longer than Robbie`s It sounds like things are looking for up his hair. You`ve just got to keep it long no matter what. Cutting now will be a big mistake. Just because Robbie goes to a private school doesn;t mean he gets teased, He is called Roberta or Suzie (agirl with our last name ) all the time. I have been using Pantene products for over 3 months, and the difference is unbelievable. I know that everyone has different hair, but works for us, and, his tangles aren`t a problem anymore. He brushes and braids his hair every night and we are both so happy about how easy it is to work with. Keep us posted.

Tina
that is a hair DON'T
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priyanka View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 24 2002 at 1:44am
Originally posted by Ally Ally wrote:

Hi again,

Iwasn`t going to post anymore, but I felt I should respond to Dawn because she has been so supportive. I had a conference with his teacher, and things are much better now; Stevie hasn`t mentioned a haircut in over a week. I really think he is getting comfortable with keeping it long. We watched the Maury Povich show together yesterday. It was about guys with long hair getting it cut. He really liked one of the guys hair, and thought it shouldn`t be cut. We ended up having a nice talk, and decided that if the teasing remains good natured, not hurtful, we will probably keep it growing. I know things can change, but I`m excited.

Ally

Dear sis ally,

You are a great mom. Keep it up.

Priyanka
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