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Does anyone get upset if their significant other changes their hair without telling them?

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Nera View Drop Down
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    Posted: November 14 2002 at 3:37pm
Most of the message is in the subject. I`m curious as to this, and any stories to go with it.
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Hal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 15 2002 at 8:25am
Originally posted by Nera Nera wrote:

Most of the message is in the subject. I'm curious as to this, and any stories to go with it.

not me...I love it.. but thats part of my game I like to see different styles on her.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote loveshorthair Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2002 at 12:10am
I too love change. Though I could see if it was a real bad change being disappointed that she didn`t run it by me first. I know, I know...selfish. Though I run things by her first.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ingrid16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2002 at 3:24am
Hey! I dunno if I would get upset or anything unless my sig/other did something VERY drastic & strange. However, I went and got a whole bunch of my hair cut off without telling my X-b/f, and he was really upset. He really liked my hair the way it was before that, even tho it was fried & damaged and looked like crap. So, maybe it would be a good idea to just let them know....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 17 2002 at 1:22pm
Have no significant other, but if I did, I would hope they`d tell me. And if they
looked nice, would hope they`d avoid changing. No expectations certainly, but
I am the kind of guy who reasons "if it ain`t broke? Why fixit?" But no, I don`t
assume I`ll have a wife like that.
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Nera View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nera Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 05 2002 at 3:56pm
I just had another thought on this. Has anoyone ever done something to their hair in order to spite their S/O?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gurus student Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 23 2003 at 10:08pm
Not me, never changed my hair, but I have a little different take on the matter. In my faith, we (Sikhs) cannot cut or shave our hair. Granted, there are some less traditional Sikhs that choose to wear shorter hair, but if my boyfriend ever approached me with a shorn beard or cut hair, I think I would faint!
Keep hope alive!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IRIS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 25 2003 at 1:04am
I recently went from shoulder length hair to a pixie without telling my boyfriend. He didn't care either way and just told me to do whatever I want to my hair as long as it makes me happy. In our 3 year relationship he has never made a negative comment on my appearence. Which I think is part of the reason were still together. I asked him if he would still think I was beautiful in 40 years and told me that I will always be the most beautiful person because of who I am, not how I look. I did have a boyfriend who told me I would be prettier if I had longer hair. I was very insulted, that relationship didn't last long at all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote demodoll Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2003 at 8:57am
Only a most insecure person would be bothered by a change in significant other's hairstyle. Even if you don't really like it, if it makes that person happy (or even if it doesn't--we all make mistakes), you should love the person, not their hair!
"It is better to look marvelous than to feel marvelous" Billy Crystal
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tina m Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2003 at 9:16pm
If you are really in love with someone, yes you should be considerate of them and AT LEAST let them know that you are planning to change your hairstyle.
Sure it's trivial compared to many things in life but isn't pleasing the one you are with important too?
Or am I just a fool in love?
tina
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rod Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 28 2003 at 3:39pm
If the person is a significant other, I would hope the communication is there that they'd feel they can share an appearance change. If they don't, either she thinks he doesn't care or his opinion doesn't matter. Either way there's something wrong with the relationship.

If I were in a relationship that lacked that communication, I'd be upset. She doesn't need my approval to quit her job or cut her hair, but if I'm important to her she should mention it to me first.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tina m Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 28 2003 at 10:09pm
Agreed Rod. Exactly!
tina
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brent E. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2003 at 10:50pm
Communication is the key to any good relationship. That and of course respect and love.
It is good to let your spouse know what you plan on doing, even if you are determined to do it anyway.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote John D. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 12 2003 at 1:55pm
I had a client who decided on a whim to cut her long hair into a very short style. She didn't tell her husband. When I finished, she said she loved the new cut.

About an hour after she left the salon, he came in and started yelling at me and the receptionist. He threatened me with physical harm. I can only imagine what he did to her...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote James Q Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2003 at 10:32am
About 10 years ago, my wife had the most beautiful red hair that reached down to her waist. It was gorgeous. One day her best friend was doing her usual hard sell to get her to cut it and my wife said OK. She came home and announced her decision and I told her how much I had always admired her hair. She essentially told me, "F*** You" , Mary thinks I should cut it. I asked what about how I think? She told me that sometimes if one partner makes a decision that impacts both, the other will just have to deal with it. I felt more hurt by the attitude, and the next day she came home with a hoorible short haircut. I felt like crying. I could not talk to her, it was too painful.
Next day at work my boss mentioned that there was a job opening in a location I liked that would be a nice promotion, while at the same time telling me the department would be laying some people off in the next couple months, so I suggest you seriously think about it. Hint: you had better take it.
I went home and while I really did not want to talk to her because I still felt hurt, I informed her of the job situation. She immediately accused me of retaliating against her. She told me I could just quit my well paying job with the company (16 years) and go find another. With her part time, minimum wage job, it certainly could not support us. Work in my career field was not easy to find in the area. Discussion of any intelligent nature was a moot point. If it were not for the recent attitude she copped, I might have taken the painful route to accomodate her desire to stay with her friends and family in the area. But I was certainly not getting any respect or consideration from her, so I just said the same thing she told me a couple nights ago, that sometimes if one partner makes a decision that impacts both, the other will just have to deal with it.
The next day, I notified my boss I would take the transfer. My wife decided that night to apologize for her attitude, and tell me she was sorry, however the damage is done. She then asked me if I would apologize too. And I did for being sort with her. So she said, great, we are NOT moving. No, I said we are. Well I'm not sorry she said and she held a grudge for awhile. To end this tail, we moved, the new position and the area is great. My wife forgive me and apologized for accusing me of retaliating against her. A couple months later, the whole plant closed in our old town, alot of people weren't offered transfers. My wife and I made peace, she have both matured a great deal since then, we are still married and we learned alot about the need to respect each other. A few years ago, my wife admitted she didn't like the short haircut and was angry at Mary for pressuring her. My wife grew to really like the new area too.
Oh, for you that are really more concerned about her hair then the relationship details, she grew it out a few inches but it has never reached her previous length.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rob7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2003 at 12:26pm
There are these pixie/boy type cuts that I really in my gut do not find feminine or attractive at all. (Repulsed is a better word.) How can I gently make this point to my wife? She believes that she can tell me what hairstyles and clothes she expects to see and not to see (but not the other way around). If I go along with all that she wants, I think it''s fair to ask just this one thing. Besides that, she has great taste. How can I express that?

In the end I just want to be attracted to my wife and vice versa.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caramia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2003 at 3:47pm
When my husband and I met I had long hair. Shortly after we were married I got it cut to a just-above-shoulder-length bob. Well, I guess he felt like I had breached our contract or something. At times, I have grown my hair out and then for whatever reason I am unhappy with it and I go back and get it cut again. It has never reached its pre-marriage length of BSL. But I'm really gonna do it this time. I really am going to grow it out (hopefully it will grow to BSL again). My husband doesn't believe me though. He really does prefer long hair. The last time I cut my hair and came home, he said, "You think you would prepare someone before you get your hair cut short. You didn't mention this to me." I think it's mostly the shock of it that bothers him - you know, that I don't at least consult with him.

Caramia
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rod Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2003 at 6:28pm
Originally posted by rob7 rob7 wrote:

There are these pixie/boy type cuts that I really in my gut do not find feminine or attractive at all. (Repulsed is a better word.) How can I gently make this point to my wife? She believes that she can tell me what hairstyles and clothes she expects to see and not to see (but not the other way around). If I go along with all that she wants, I think it''s fair to ask just this one thing. Besides that, she has great taste. How can I express that?

In the end I just want to be attracted to my wife and vice versa.


Your wife may be unreasonable. When she does it, it's love, and well, everyone knows women have taste and men don't. When you do it, it feels controlling.

I hope, for your sake, it isn't this way. Maybe it's the way you do it. Some guys can be a little heavy-handed and come across as controlling and bossy. Tell her, in an even tone, that you appreciate her input into your clothes and hair, because you want to be attractive for her. You hope that she would appreciate your input, because you love her as much as she loves you. You would never tell her what to do, just as you know she would never tell you what to do. You just want to give her your thoughts.

But you have to follow through. You may have to go shopping with her and you need to notice if she adds highlights or gets a trim. If she thinks you don't care, then when you do stick your nose in, it's unwelcome.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HeadBoy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 05 2003 at 10:50am
Naw, not upset about it at all.
When my wife went to cosmotology school, she, along with many of her classmates, became practice heads for each other.

It became a mystery almost daily, what she'd look like when she got home from school.

Change is good for the soul, or so I'm told.

Peace to all
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twanda Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 05 2003 at 12:48pm
When our relationship was new I cut my medium length hair to a short bob to eliminate layers and my boyfriend now husband sort of freaked out but he got over it. Now he really doesn't care what I do to my hair as long as I don't cry afterwards or make him look at pictures of possible new hairstyles.

Twanda
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