QuoteReplyTopic: Cutting hair for someone you love Posted: November 19 2002 at 8:39am
I just read the thread from Anna whose grandmother apparently desperately wanted her to cut her hair.
Regardless of whether or not the post was real (I don`t really have an opinion one way or another), how many of you really would cut your hair (not a little but a lot) but a loved one who is NOT a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife?
To be quite blunt, I think it`s very selfish of someone to make that request. Now, a different hairstyle that doesn`t change the permanent alteration of the hair (yes, yes, I know hair grows, but I mean permanent concerning the next day, such as a cut or color), well sure!
If I had a grandmother who really loved my hair in a bun, I`d probably wear my hair in an updo when I visited her. That`s not an unreasonable request at all! But to cut, color, or perm the hair, well, again, I think that`s a very selfish request.
Just my opinion,
Jennifer
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Hey! I also agree that that`s a selfish request, and really none of the other person`s business. If its for a husband/wife I think its OK, and maybe between a boyfriend & girlfriend (altho that can get tricky). I love my grandma like crazy, but if she told me to do something drastic with my hair I wouldn`t (for her or anyone else).... if someone is that concerned with your hair that they feel they have to dictate how it looks, it would seem that they have a problem of their own, maybe some controlling urge or self-esteem issues. If its a non-permanent change, then sure, humor them. If they want your to cut it or change the color or perm it or whatever, its not really their decision. Just outta curiosity, has someone asked you to do something with your hair? Just wonderin`
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No one has asked me to do anything with my hair, although I know my dad prefers short hair. Too bad! I`m well into adulthood, and I`ll wear my hair any way I want.
I know ths is an old post, but I'm new! I teach high school,and I have a senior in my class that has a chin length blunt cut. I noticed her yearbook picture, which they display on a senior board, has her with much longer hair, well past her chest and off the photo. I commented on it. Many seniors who grow it long up until the senior picture chop it right after. She said, " I did it for my boyfriend, Steve, he loves it short. " She said it was easier to take care of, as an athlete, and she was very content that he liked it. Ispoke to him in a later class, and he said he told her he thought it would lk cute short. He said to me, " I think it would look cute even shorter, he's really pretty, and her hair took away from her face. " They are both happy as heck. I don't know... She is VERY popular, senior class VP, athlete in two sports- I knew her name well before I ever had her in class, so she could pick anyone if he was domineering. Thoughts?
Being a high school teacher myself, I think you should be careful on your involvement in this matter. I have also noticed the cutting of long hair of many seniors. I think it is also a sign of their approaching "freedom" and their desire to show it, though it doesn't sound like it in this case. I just remembered a case at my school that was the same. These things usually work themselves out - of course I would watch for any type of mental or physical abuse.
Such requests are selfish, including from parents to children (whether or not they're under 18, Jennifer). With boyfriend/girlfriend, the situation is different, but it's best not to try to change the partner, unless you do it subtly or their look really irritates you or you think a casual suggestion may not irritate them. Actually, I'm at odds with that aspect of this issue. Recently, a man who's had a mustache for like 20 years came with his wife on the Dr. Phil show because she wants to see how he'd look without it. He agreed to shave it off (and Doc told of how when he was dating Robin, she wanted to see how he looked without HIS mustache. Phil shaved it off speedily enough and Robin said he looked better with it. And the idea of Dr. Phil without his mustache is even harder for me to fathom than that of Alex Trebek without his lol). They sent him off to get it shaven, and the wife was overjoyed. Cute, but now if he asks her to think about growing out her (short red) hair, I hope she won't take it as an insult!
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