Wives & their hair

An item of interest from a recent edition of the Boston Herald:

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The Boston Herald

November 21, 2002 Thursday ALL EDITIONS

SECTION: ARTS & LIFE; Pg. 050

LENGTH: 496 words

HEADLINE: Guys at root of women`s hair issues

BYLINE: By Beth Teitell

BODY:
Carmela`s lucky she didn`t get whacked. Most people who disrespect Tony the
way she did probably don`t get off with a verbal reprimand.

In case you missed last Sunday`s " Sopranos, " here`s what happened: Carmela
was in the kitchen, slicing some high-fat delicacy, when Tony walked in.

"What`d you do to your hair?"

"I cut it."

"I taut we agreed you were going to talk to me first if you were going to do
something to your head."

And with that, the phone rang - in my house, that is.

"What`s with men?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.

It was a friend who has long hair, which she has been wanting to cut for
the past five years but hasn`t, because her beloved - the man who promised to
love her in sickness and in health - has made it clear that "with long hair or
short" was not part of the vow.

"He says he signed up for a long-haired brunette," she said.

Stylists all over the city tell the same story: "They come in with pictures
of Reese Witherspoon`s new hairstyle, and say `I`d love to look like this,` "
reports Richard Wright, an owner of Salon 350 on Newbury Street.

But don`t expect to see an army of short-haired Witherspoons parading around
town. Such is the power of love.

Wright said no man has ever come into the salon to avenge a pixie cut, but,
then again, the stylists have scissors, so maybe it`s just fear that keeps the
men away.

One long-haired woman told me she taunts her husband before going to the
salon: "I`m going to cut it really short," she says in a sing-songy voice.

"It`s like I`m saying, `The boogeyman`s going to come and get you,` " she
said.

Meanwhile, another woman with long hair reported her boyfriends basically
"insist" she not cut it. "They say that when a woman gets married, the first
thing she does is cut her hair," she said.

Wedding. Reception. Haircut.

Why do men care so much? One theory holds that they don`t have good vision.
"They only see two things," one observer explained. "A woman`s body and the
length of her hair."

I know a man (with glasses, I might add) who keeps a lock of his wife`s
long hair, so I called him for some insight.

"I`m looking at a bag of her hair from when she cut it seven years ago," he
said. "I hope that doesn`t sound creepy."

He recalled the circumstances of the cut: "We were in France together and
she`d had long hair - it was halfway down her back - and I`d been pleading
with her not to cut it. She said, `I`ll go to a French hairstylist and it will
look great.` "

He accompanied her to the salon, and after the first lop, he reached down,
picked up the hair and put it in a bag. "I made the Frenchwoman laugh," he said,
"and that`s something."

"Why did you care about the hair?" I asked.

"I guess it`s a very primitive thing about plumage," he said.

"There`s a point in your married life," he added, "where you suddenly realize
your wife`s hair is getting shorter and shorter, and then one day it`s shorter
than yours."

Tony better watch out.

LOAD-DATE: November 21, 2002

Duke, try this: a friend whacks off her hair and makes comments like, "Yes, I decided it was time to get a MODERN haircut."

Stylists ask if a woman wants to "update" her long hair.

Magazine articles that talk about hair almost always mention cutting it off for a "new" look.

If a woman changes careers or just wants a new look for more professionalism, one of the first things that is mentioned is cutting off a lot of hair.

Makeovers -- ever seen one where there wasn`t a fairly significant change in length?

To sum it up, I`d say that pressure from all sides weighs in pretty heavily. Let`s face it: most women have short hair. And a lot of people like to "fit in."

Sure, we all like changes, even in hairstyles. But for some odd reason, the word "change" and "haircut" seem to be synonymous! There are many ways to change. Cutting is but one of many. But we just don`t hear that mentioned very often.

Jennifer

>>>I am curious - what had made you cut it?

Good question. Got time for a horror novel? {grin}


>>>How long is it right now?

Well, it was several inches below my shoulders until a stylist did me the "favor" of cutting in several layers (all I wanted was a trim). I could not STAND those %$#@! layers, so I simply trimmed my hair myself to where it just barely lies below the shoulders. It generally looks shoulder-length though with the natural waves in it. As much as I dislike short hair, I`d rather have the hair shorter than those horrid layers in it.

Although Mary Tyler Moore`s hair looked very lovely on her back in the 60s, that look simply is not "me!"

I can`t remember when I`ve been happy with a stylist who has trimmed my hair. I do have very light highlights put in my naturally light/medium blonde hair, and thank God, I`ve always been happy with the highlights.

In several months, I`ll just have hubby skim the ends of my hair. And that`s IT!

Jennifer

Hi Ingrid,

More, more, more! Change, change, change!

You are so right. I am certainly not advocating stagnation or never changing. But American culture is starting to run around in a vicious circle. I was doing some research last night in financial matters, and guess what -- the personal debt in the US has hit an all-time high, and I`d believe it. Don`t be satisfied with what you have -- go buy new! New car! New wardrobe! New haircut!

I`ll be the very first to admit that I`ve "bought" into a lot of this myself. You bet I love new clothes and "stuff!" But, is it honestly improving our lives? If you have a 4-year-old car, and it`s working perfectly fine, will a brand-new one enrich your life that much? I doubt it. Now, of course, if you`re driving a clunker that is costing more money in repairs than it would be to buy a new one, then yes!

But it`s the cumulation of all the "things" that adds up. Instead of spending money in EVERY area, choose one that is important to us personally and try to be happy on less in other areas. I like highlights in my hair. Since my hair is already blonde to begin with, I understand it`s a bit tricky to do. Thus, I am willing to spend more in this area. But I was just going through my cosmetics the other day. Why yes, every woman needs 542 lipsticks! Okay, I didn`t have that many, but I had a whole lot more than I needed.

Now, trying to bring this back to the subject of hair.....we are sometimes buying into the notion of more, more, more with our hair. I`ve read comments from stylists in magazines that said, "Every woman should color her hair just once." Well, if she`s perfectly happy with her hair the way it is, why mess with success? Change ONLY for the sake of change is not necessarily good. If someone wants to experiment a bit, great -- do it. But doing so to satisfy a bored stylist or the nagging voices that accumulate in your head from all those "helpful" comments in magazines, your friends, co-workers, family, and so forth is not a good idea.

Ingrid, I`m quite impressed that you aren`t letting others influence how you wear your hair!

All my best,

Jennifer

Dear Ingrid,

Obviously, I don`t know you other than the words that you write on this forum, but I have to say: if you are anything like the words you write, you are a real gem and a sweetheart! If I were anywhere near where those incredibly rude people called you names, I`d probably be in jail right now for what I would do to them.....

All my best,

Jennifer

My husband loved my long hair.
When he met me I had hair about 6 in past my shoulders.
I had been growing it for about two years. He adored it.
Which is funny, cause normaly my hair is shoulder length or shorter,
I wonder if he wouldn`t have noticed me if my hair was short.
Life is weird like that.
But shortly before we got engaged I cut it,
It ended up at chin length. Yea it was really bad.
I wondered if he would still like me, he was afraid I would be mean to him and blow him off like the short haired girls in high school.
But he loved me anyway and was so sweet.
Well that was May of last year.
We`re happily married now, but this week we finnaly talked honestly,
and I found out how much he loved it long.
but he never had the heart to tell me.
Because I`m really self-concious about my looks.
And he was also afraid of comming across, like a dictator.... "You must have long hair"
He was really sweet about it. So I decided to grow my hair.
I don`t know why but it make me nervous, I`m not big on patience. And I feel really shy when it`s long. So it`s actualy a big loving commitment for me. If he had been a jerk about it or had been demanding at all. I would never have grown it out again.

Juliet

You women got it backwards.

Men need women as much, if not more, than we need men.
Most men are not gay, they like women, and they are even more hung up on sex than we are. And they need us for that. If your guy is giving you a bad time about your hair or whatever, then let him know he may not be "getting any" tonight from you. You`ve got that power over him. Besides a guy who is a real man isn`t going to care if you have long or short hair, as long as you are feminine, sexy and affectionate to him!
Everyone has their preferences of course but we have got power over guys.

I like long hair on guys. My fiancee, who has his own small construction company, has been growing his hair out lately. I have let him know, in the ways that only a woman can, that I love his long hair and I want him to grow it a little longer(it`s past his shoulders now). He knows where he is getting his loving from! So two can play this game!

I wear my hair in a short pixie, fortunately my man likes me in this hairstyle, but ladies, regardless of what fellas believe, we can manipulate them as much, if not more, as the other way around! Never forget that! And always play a little hard to get on various issues, and then relent a little, make the fella work for your love! The loving is better that way!
You got the power sisters, men know they need women!