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how did you start coloring your hair?

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duke View Drop Down
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    Posted: February 21 2004 at 5:04am
This is a companion to my question about wearing your hair naturally. To those who perm or in any way change the color of their hair (including the tiniest highlights) or who have done so in the past, how old were you when you first did it and what motivated you? Or did your stylist suggest it and you accepted it?
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Kuroneko View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kuroneko Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 22 2004 at 3:13am
The first time I dyed my hair, I was 13. It was around the same time I first had it cut, and I had to do both with my own money and no consent from parents or other authority figures; I knew if I asked permission for what I wanted, they would never have let me do it, but if they didn't find out until afterwards the worst they could do was scold or punish. The reason I first dyed my hair was because of a comic book chara I really related to and wanted to more closely resemble. But since then I've decided I really hate the mousy brown my hair is naturally (not to mention the little bits of grey in a couple of places :-P *is old*) and I like to do it more interesting shades.
More awesome than a manatee!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote joec Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 22 2004 at 9:55pm
I began coloring my wifes hair about a year ago.
I was 42,it was an off shute of another hobby.

Auto body refinishing,I always liked hues and colors,and I always liked womens hair,so the 2 kind of blended.As a matter of fact their are trend in automtive finishes that follow the cosmetic industry,metalic followed glitter nail polish in the late 50's.Pearl essent followed women's eye shadow in the 60's.Clear coat wich is standard any more folowed lady's lip gloss in the late 70's.
I first started with LoREal highlights then moved to total color.Then(being she had dark hair) moved to bleaching then recoloring.
I find it very rewarding.
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Captain Japonica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Captain Japonica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 07 2004 at 5:10pm
I was 13 years old when I started coloring my hair.


For whatever reason, My mom just drove my 15 year old sister and I to Ulta Cosmetics and told us to go pick out a shade while she was looking at make up. Both of us had very dark brown hair. My sister made a bee line for the brunette shades, obviously not wanting to make too big a change and settled on Loreal Feria bronze shimmer, which, four years later, she is still useing to spectacular effect with her golden-olive skin tone. I went for Clairol Natural Instincts Egyptian Plum which, on my long dark hair, turned more plum-black. This gave me an interesting Marilyn Manson fan look what with my fair skin and all.
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duke View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 10 2004 at 7:14am
Did your mother force you to color your hair, Captain Japonica?

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Captain Japonica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Captain Japonica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 18 2004 at 12:39am
Yeah, she did.
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duke View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 19 2004 at 4:46am
Would you do me a favor, Captain Japonica, and tell me more about your relationship with your mother? A mother taking her kids to the store and just making them color their hair, that's WEIRD. Do you have the faintest explanation for this? Is your mother a liberal or conservative type? Does she have a history of demanding strange things from her kids, ordering them around?
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Karen Shelton View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Karen Shelton Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 19 2004 at 10:30am
Wow. Good topic. It brings back memories for me.

When I was in the 7th grade about 1 million years ago, my arch enemy Susie, showed up at school one beautiful Spring day with really blonde highlights. Before that point she had mousy dishwater brown hair, like me. So in the past we were on an even playing field, with the boys because we were both dishwater blondes.

Then she showed up at school that memorable day with beautiful blonde highlights. She looked amazing. I was bright green with envy. :-)

I asked around to try and figure out what she did to her hair to transform it like that. Everyone said Susie claimed to use lemon juice and sit out in the sun.

Yeah right. Like that would work. But hey, I was in 7th grade and would believe just about anything.

Of course I now know that the only way to really get hair to have those types of highlights is to use a bleaching agent that lifts the dark hues out of the cortex.

Anyway, I went home after the Susie blonde unveiling, bought a ton of fresh lemons and sat in the sun for days. I mean days and days. Nothing happened. My hair remained dirty blonde. Arggggh.

Then my aunt, who was a hairdresser asked me why I was doing the lemon trick. I explained the Susie story. She laughed and said "Sun In". She also told me that I could put 1,000 lemons on my head and sit in the sun for a year and would still never get highlights like Susie's. And of course she was right.

I bought the SunIn (without the knowledge of my mom) and applied it while hiding in the bathroom. My hair was instantly ashimmer with buttery blonde highlights. By that point Susie's roots were growing in, noticeably, so I ascended to the top of the beautiful blonde heap for about 2 weeks until my roots popped out. :-)

Which then started my lifelong quest for really great, all natural looking blonde hair. Yes I finally found it, but that is another story for another thread. :-)

And by the way, I have since learned that SunIn will turn medium or dark brown hair orange. It is also very damaging for your hair. So if you are reading this and longing for blonde highlights, please go to a hair color expert and have them painted on with foils. That is what I do now and they look great.

Thanks again for a great topic.

Best wishes,
Karen

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger or drives you totally insane. :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khayeth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 24 2004 at 4:35pm
So you can add this to the cliched list of moms out there.

When i was entering 5th grade i had somewhat long hair - just below my shoulders - which is still poker straight and quite fine. This was before conditioner was popular and my mom still isn't aware the stuff exists so you can imagine the state of my hair after a summer playing outside.

So my mom gave me a Beatle cut. I cried for days. I looked like my kindergarden school picture again. People mistook me for a boy for two years.

And after she let me grow my hair a little longer, the perming started, it continued every 4-6 months until i was in college. That's how she was raised, so that's how i was raised.

I didn't let anyone else besides me touch my hair for about 5 years, and since my one venture that cost 8 inches of growth, i haven't again let a professional touch my hair in 4 years. My hair is now mid-back, about halfway between bra and waist, and completely straight.

Pop psychology probably has something to say about my not very original story.
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Captain Japonica View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Captain Japonica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 24 2004 at 8:01pm
And you didn't crack her upside the head as soon as you were big enough?!?!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khayeth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 25 2004 at 7:35am
Tee hee. I just got done reading your treatise on parents, Captain. I feel bad for complaining about my parents at all!

No, i've never struck my mom. She, too, is insane, but only a little, and only in the way that she kind of wants what's best for all of us. Granted, she wants what's best for us in a way that makes her look good, but seriously, we all put ourselves first on some level, and some people make it look altruistic, and others are overly self-absorbed.

If she damaged my psyche by making me look like a boy the year i was undergoing the worst of puberty, then she is definitely the one who suffered the most by having to live with it for the next 7 years until i went to college. All kids hate their lives and their parents, so from our point of view a crappy childhood is normal. But the parents have to put up with our tantrums and rebellion. Bad parents have it worse than the children of bad parents, i think.

Well, i'll amend that to bad parents who care what their kids are up to. The ones who don't care obviously get off scot free. But we are clearly discussing the controlling ones here :)

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2004 at 3:46am
That's hogwash, Kayeth. I don't give a hoot how much controlling parents can be "excused". Something should be done about them, because they hurt their children, traumatizing them and making them miserable. Parents owe you a healthy existence. They shouldn't treat you like you're in a gulag in return. They should care about your happiness and your well-being, otherwise they're probably being selfish. Don't tell me it's because they are supporting you. That's their duty. They made you, now they must nurture you and help put you on the road toward adulthood. No one ever said parenting is easy. It's one of the greatest, most selfless duties you can ever hope to take on. And the kid doesn't ask to be borne. How dare parents use their kids for their own satisfaction and be selfish toward them? And some of your "excuse" is just pathetic. Putting up with tantrums is surely nothing compared to some of the suffering and trauma caused by parents who behave like dictators. Yeah right, tantrums etc hurt parents more than forced haircut, being cooped up at home, having every aspect of your life regulated hurts the kid. What planet are you on?

Who brainwashed you this way? Maybe you brainwashed yourself. My mother (whose controllingness and abuse I highly resent and whose repentance I desire) was controlled by her mother in similar ways (even with hair. Her mother chopped off her hair when she was about 7 "so that she would be neat for school") but for a long time she was "excusing" her mother in pathetic ways (along the lines of "she washed the dishes so that I could practice the piano"). Now, however, she is dealing with the hurt in a totally opposite way. As long as we excuse the parents and have so much understanding for what is basically bad parenting, we'll continue having parents who raise their children badly and hurt them and result in them growing up damaged. I am a hurt, somewhat obsessive-compulsive grownup because of my restrictive, authoritarian and ultimately downright abusive mother's treatment of me. Whatever excuses she might have for this, I think parents like this should have to answer to society for their actions. If I assult someone on the street, I have to answer for it, whether or not I have an "excuse" for it. But parents are easily excused and treated as if they were above reproach. Don't tell me it's normal to grow up hurt and deviant as a result of parents' treatment - that notion seems to be accepted by many people who have suffered at their parents' hands. So they grow up to be bad parents too. But there are other people who are good parents, who want their children to grow up happy, healthy and independent and don't stifle them.

I am not expressing anger directly at you. I am just vehemently countering your arguments and trying to open people's eyes. Back to the subject of hair: kids are small, weak and dependent, and some people easily distance themselves from their kids' feelings. But when you think of it, a parent forcing a kid to have their hair chopped off is not much
worse than a stranger coming up to a grownup with clippers or shears on the street and giving them a haircut. The effect is similar - you're shorn of the hair you treasure. But kids don't count for much in society, and who cares? If we respect kids, they'll be more likely to be healthy, honest grownups. This is not spoiling: nurturing, meeting a child's needs and allowing them to pursue honest happiness is legitimate. Spoling is overindulgence or allowing bad behavior toward others. I don't want society to be made up of people with complexes who go on to cause complexes in their kids and so ad infinitum. Look at Michael Jackson. His father treated him and his brothers like dirt, and essentially got away with it. Now Michael is a love-starved man who is obsessed with children and overprotective of his own children, and is even accused (though I hope it's just exaggerated warmth toward kids on his part, but we don't know, for he's "innocent until proven guilty") of child molestation.

I feel strongly about this and will fight for people to consider my views.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2004 at 3:49am
Correction: you said that bad parents have it worse than their kids. Even if that's true, it's no excuse, and what you say undermines the suffering of the children of bad parents. And some bad parents have it royally good, at the expense of their children.

Not all children have a bad childhood or think they have.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote joec Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 30 2004 at 8:02pm
Duke you need profesinal help.This is a hair board and your going off on some weird tanget.
I could care less about your relationship with your parents.
Instead of telling everone where their parents went wrong.Spend a little time on the couch yourself.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2004 at 3:39am
COULDN'T care less, Joec.

Look, other people started the tangent, essentially (okay, maybe I did in a way, when I asked Captain Japonica why his mother made him color his hair - but how weird is that? I needed an explanation and therefore I thought it was a good reason to go off on a tangent) and I don't easily discuss digressing issues on message boards. But sometimes a digression develops which has some importance, therefore I'm sorry, but I feel I must discuss it. When I go off on a tangent, believe me, I don't do so lightly.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 04 2004 at 1:21pm
Thank you, joec.

Duke -- CaptainJaponica and Kayeth have merely expressed how they felt and how they were treated. Sadly, you've turned it into an indictment of them for what you perceive to be a "failure" to demand righteous consideration from their parents. You are welcome to express your disappointment with their parents, sure. But if your aim is to help people to learn treat their children with more respect, there is surely a more effective way for you to channel your energies.

Kind regards.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Captain Japonica Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 19 2004 at 4:48pm
Originally posted by duke duke wrote:

COULDN'T care less, Joec.

Look, other people started the tangent, essentially (okay, maybe I did in a way, when I asked Captain Japonica why his mother made him color his hair - but how weird is that? I needed an explanation and therefore I thought it was a good reason to go off on a tangent) and I don't easily discuss digressing issues on message boards. But sometimes a digression develops which has some importance, therefore I'm sorry, but I feel I must discuss it. When I go off on a tangent, believe me, I don't do so lightly.



Yeah, I though it was weird at the time as well. I see no problem with Dukes tirade.
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