new member who's desperate

Is your hair colour-treated? If it is, it sounds like your hair has become very porous -- it soaks up the water and turns into a tangled mess when wet.

Another possibility is that the silicone from the Pantene products may have accumulated into a heavy build-up. Try washing your hair with a clarifying shampoo to remove the build-up. (Neutrogena makes a good one.) Make sure to condition your hair well afterwards. I'm sure some other people on this board will have conditioner suggestions. I use Shea Butter conditioner, but I don't know if it's widely available. I also occasionally use John Frieda Glistening Creme. It makes my hair super shiny and tangle-free. Redken makes some excellent hair care products as well. Do you have a local salon where you can buy Redken products?

Good luck. I'm sure with the right conditioner, you'll be able to save and enjoy your long hair.

P.S. I forgot to welcome you to the board, so "WELCOME!".
One more thing: Redken Snap is amazing for repairing damaged hair. My mother recently sort of fried her hair with a few hair colour disasters (trying to get rid of some stubborn greys). Her hair looked like a big pile of hay. She got some Redken Snap. She's been using it for less than a month, and her hair looks fabulous; the flyaways are gone and the shine has returned. (She's 61, by the way, and still has lovely long hair.) I think long hair is beautiful at any age.

If you can''t find it in a salon, there''s always ordering online. Good luck!

Hi Mab, welcome!

The type of oil you're using might be the problem. Olive oil does not work on my hair; it does not reduce tangles, and seems to bleach the color and is hard to remove. Yuck. Anyway, jojoba oil works best for me (and is reputed to be most similar to your own natural oil/wax - sebum).

Also, Pantene is notorious for silicones, which over time block the moisture out of your hair, so it gets dry and brittle. Watch out for silicones in conditioners, creams, and the like, and avoid those products that have "-cones" among their predominant ingredients.

Hi Mab!

There's plenty to know about haircare. This stuff just doesn't get gorgeous and healthy without efforts to help it avoid trouble. Jojoba is my fave because it most closely resembles sebum. I figure our bodies know best what is good for it (and as far as I know, nobody sells sebum ).

If you don't find a clarifying shampoo right away (which you should not use every wash anyway, just once every 2 weeks or so), a good way to get the buildup from the silicones and olive oil out of your hair is to do a vinegar rinse. I've heard it recommended many-a-time on long hair boards. You use one tablespoon of white or apple cider vinegar in one cup of water, pour it over your head, then immediately wash and condition. Since your hair has been dyed, it may dry it a little, so condition well, and use jojoba after dry. You can do that once a month if you don't buy any clarifying shampoo to use instead.

If the hair mats on top of your head when you wash, you don't pile your hair up on top of your head to lather it do you? The best way to wash is to leave your hair hanging, shampoo the skin of your scalp, and 2 inches of hair closest to the scalp, and not the length. As you rinse the shampoo out, it will clean the length well enough as it runs over it. Piling it on your head gives terrible tangles.