what is "too much"

I had medium/dark brown hair with nice honey, golden highlights which I liked. 6 months had gone by since I got the highlights so I went to a salon for it to be 'refreshed'

The guy dyed all my hair very dark brown, then while the dye was in my hair he added streaks with bleach, which turned out RED and brassy. I hate it. I wanted it lighter and instead it was very dark and and red.

A month later, I had a glaze put over the hair to tone down the red. This made my hair very dark brown, but at least the red was covered for a while

Now, 3 months have gone by and the red is back. I went to a new salon and was told that too much has been done to my hair that I shouldn't highlight it or dye it. It does look dry and the ends are splitting

I really want my medium/brown hair back witht he lovely carmel highlights.. What can I do? Am I stuck with dark brown/reddish hair until it grows out?
Shouldn't a good salon be able to do something for me?
any suggestions?