Please Help me

Well, I remember what it was like to be 11....you`re at that age when image is starting to be important -- primping, make-up, nail polish, clothes, and BOYS......

She was obviously very proud of her hair and judging by what you wrote, she said repeatedly that she wanted just a trim. I don`t know what kind of relationship you have with your daughter, so I can only say from what I went thru growing up with my mom and with my hair, and what I go thru with my son and his hair.

I grew my hair out for about 5 years, only to have a bad perm by my mom when I was in jr high that fried my hair and I had to have my hair cut off. I was humiliated and angry just to name a few. There was a huge screaming match and mom and I didn`t talk for a while....we were best friends. I am almost 30 and it still upsets me.

With that in mind, I let my son make his own hair decisions to some extent -- he is not dyeing it blue...but as far as style -- he picks it. He goes from long hair, to shaved bald, spiked and back to long again. He is the one that washes it, fixes it, etc, so he is the one that pics the style. When stylists ask me how I want his hair I tell them to ask him, because he is the one who has to wear it. He also does his own clothes, as long as they are clean (sometimes he doesn`t match but that`s ok he is learning).

The one thing I really appreciate about my mom, is (after the hair incident) she was able to step back and not "rule" me so much. That way I could learn how important it was to be able to think things thru and make good choices. I am sure there were days that your daughter got fed up with all that hair but she had a goal to grow it out...obviously she did with hair that long.

Pick your battles carefully because soon they will be teens and the battles get much harder. These are the years where we build trust with our kids so when they are confronted with sex, drugs, and peer pressure they will turn to us because we have laid a good foundation.

I would say yes, judging by the number of times she stressed "just a trim" that you are to blame, and you might want to talk to your daughter. Kiss up time, Mom!! :)

(((Hugs)))
Trix

Glad you worked it out! who knows, in a year or two she may decide to grow it out again! lol

That`s the thing about hair -- it`s a renewable resource.

Trix

The mom wanted it cut off. The daughter wanted a trim. The hairdresser was listening to the mom and cutting it off....it had nothing to do with a distraction. I think that is guilt transferrence on the mother`s part.

IMHO, that stylist would have cut that hair off, book or no book.

trix

a mom wrote: My 11 yr. old daughter had been growing her hair out for 3 yrs. with occasionnal trims and it was about an inch away from her bottom. Well, I had been thinking she would look better with a shorter sort of cut and told her so. She shot down the idea the second I expressed my feelings. Well, about 2 weeks ago I told her I had made an appointment for her at a new hair place. She said OK because she was in a good mood but also warned me that she would only get a trim and I agreed. Well, when we got there the next day a teenage girl had just got to work obviously late, grabbed a cape and told me and my daughter to please come to the back. As she was washing my daughters hair, she was asking me what kind of style I wanted for her hair. I told her flat out I had wanted it short but my daughter wanted "just a trim" and said ok. Well I went to look at a magazine while my daughter was getting her hair trimmed and came back to ask the stylist if I could have my hair done with a short pixie because mine was an inch below shoulder length and getting boring. As she turned to look at the picture she cut a large piece of my daughters hair. My daugter had not been looking and even if she had been she couldn't have seen anything because the chair was turned around. Anyway, she cut the large piece of the back of her head, crooked. She had to straighten it out and my daughter ended up with an even shorter pixie cut that I wanted. I just wanted to know if it was my fault that my daughter got that cut? Please help! I feel awful.

When I was 5 years old I had always had beautiful long ash blonde hair and I have no idea how often it was cut. Then my mum introduced me to a private hairdresser and 80s inspired haircuts and throughout primary school i had short boys hair or a mullet with a rats tail. Just before Intermeddiate School I bravely announced I had to grow my hair shoulder length to fit in. From then on I was happy was long hair but felt cheated for the years I couldn`t say what i thought.
P.S I`m glad your daughter hair has turned out okay but I would of made a complaint to the hairdresser! :)

I hate to tell you this, but unless you were literally shaved bald, just cutting your hair short is not getting rid of lice.......

Jennifer

Waist length hair and lice made for a 6 hour ordeal of combing by sectioning off hair by the centimeter. That was several years ago and I *NEVER* want to have to do that to myself again. And I had no idea how I got lice!

I know that it wouldn`t get rid of the lice, and we did get lice killer shampoo or whatever, but I had lice to bad that it would`ve taken weeks to get it all out of my hair.

hmmm....

i think it is a little narrow minded to say that i am vetoing my son, before even asking how the whole situation turned out.

or better yet, without even knowing what my parenting beliefs are.

trix