Big ears

I am a guy and can relate to your boyfriend in terms of having the hair really short. I have had my hair long for about 3 years now and when wet it is probably 4 5 inches below my shoulders. My problem is that it has gotten totally out of control and even though I wear it in a pony tail I am just thinking of shaving it all. I tried to get 3 or 4 haircuts last year at different places and could not get anyone to cut my hair saying it would be a pity to cut it. I guess if I had insisted on having it cut I would have had it but I guess I got sucked into not cutting it.

I just want to be able to get it under some control but have no idea what I should do. It is not as curly as it is wavy but I have like 3 strands of hair coming out of each folicle and it look unbelievably thick due to the volume of hair involved (both of my parents have straight/slightly wavy hair, I guess I turned out inheriting a weird genetic combination hehe). I think I would like to keep it long but I just need to find something that will keep it a bit flattened to my head and not have it fly in every direction. I don't want to wear it without a pony tail but even with it, it seems to thick; if I ever take off the band, it will kind of fall to both sides parted from the middle but it will be about 5 inches away from each side of my head. Pretty much it looks like an aphro without the top part making it fully round and unless I can come up with something to smoothen it up a bit, I am going to have to revert back to a crew cut or clean shaven head which I really don't want to have to =( Anyway I would appreciate any help that you may give.

Thanks..