how to get seperated, soft curls instead of fuzzy curly mess!

I have naturally thick, sort of bushy, wavy/curly hair. I have kept it short in choppy, textured cuts for the last several years so I haven't had to deal with the curl/frizz in a long time. Well, I decided to start growing my hair out several months ago. It's been 10 months since my last super-short cut and now my hair is touching my shoulders! I get trims a lot but haven't had anything major cut off yet.

I normally blow-dry my hair straight with a round brush but now due to all the blow-drying my hair is getting really dull and even frizzier/bushier looking when I straighten it. I use salon shampoos/conditioners and styling products but my hair is still looking pretty dead right now.

I thought I'd STOP fighting it's natural texture and just let it do the naturally curly thing for a while...well I have just been putting some Clinique curl defining cream in it, letting it mostly air-dry then scrunching it with a dryer/diffuser on low. Well, my hair curls right up, but it's not nice, pretty curls. Instead of the shiny, seperated, loose spiral curls/waves I thought I'd get, it's crazy, wavy curls that aren't seperated at all! And it's still fuzzy!

My question is - do most people with naturally curly hair still have to use a curling iron or something to get their curls to look nice and seperated? Is there a different/better product out there that I could try? What products can I use that help the curl but fight the frizz?

Sorry so many questions...I haven't had to deal with my curls in 7 years and I was 17 years old then so all I did was put it in a ponytail when it was long!

I'd skip the blow dryer altogether. Using it results in more frizz and additional damage, diffuser or not.

I use a very light gel to define my waves.