Dead animal on my head!

I have curly hair, and I really like it, but I also dislike it. When I cut it short, all my guy friends said it looked great. Once I started growing it out, the ladies in my mom's latin social club told her they loved it. All of the girls I knew said they loved it and that it looked better than short hair. The catch is that it only looks good during the "in between" ph when My hair is 3 or 4 inches long and wet on top of that. After that I can't control it anymore. As it dries the beast is unleashed, and it looks like it wants to eat people! During my sophomore year, the guys in my dorm called me "luscious hair Danny," but I don't think it was in a good way. My mom and sisters say that layering is not good for your hair, and gels and oils make me break out. I want my curls to hang close to my head and frame my face without covering my forehead. I went to a nice salon and even got a gay hairdresser, but no matter what I do, my hair poofs up like a mushroom. I'm a walking fungus! What signs should I look for when finding a good barber? What's the difference b/n a barber and a hairdresser? If there is a difference, is it important? Does anyone else have similar problems?
Help me unlock the inner do!