FRIENDS dont let friends do your hair!

Last Saturday 12/3/05 I went to get my nails done at my friends house.  She has gone to cosmetology school, and is a very persausive lady.  In the past she has done many beauty enhancements for me, eyebrows, make up, massage, even a test with the relaxer.  She had tried a little bit of a relaxer in my hair about a month ago and the results were very nice.  Though it was on for a few minutes, and on one long strang.

Continuing to my hair

My hair is very thick and wavy, with a coarse texture to it to start with.  I basically have been dying it blue black for years, as I like the gothic look.  Recently I have been using a flat iron to straighten it, and loved the results.  I am not sure what the heck I was thinking, but she  used  OPTIMUM Medium relaxer on my coars caucasion hair.  In the beginning she did not use a base, so she went putting the relaxer in.  In a few minutes, I felt a burning a bit , but assumed that it meant it was working.  (just used to some discomfort when dying my hair at times)  Well she was going at it, combing the relaxer through my hair.  She told me to let her know when 24 minutes was up.  (I assumed this was a good time since she does say she knows hair)  Well what a mistake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To make a long story short, my hair was burning when she went to wash it off, I had told her it was bugging me.  I saw some hair in the drain, and was worried.  And she kept commenting on how the dye was just washing out of my hair.  I had burns along side my entire scalp.  I was left with hair breakage all over, and very dry brittle hair.  She was saying, " You must have really brushed the hair in the front a lot because it is breaking off".  I mean my bands were like breaking in pieces!!!   When putting my fingers into the scalp now it just feels so dry at the roots.  She used a neutralizer , then conditioned, and also poured olive oil on when she was done.  After she used a blow dryer to dry it, and a hot comb!  At the time I had no clue, but had trusted in her, which was my mistake.  Personally I think I was in shell shock over the whole event.  I literally was dazed.

It is now a week later, and I have gone to three different hair dressers, one thing they all say.

Why did she put a African American product that was  medium relaxer in my hair?  If anything I could use a kids or lite relaxer.

That one should not put a relaxer in dyed hair or recently ironed hair.

Condition condition

HELP!! Does anyone know of something that is a work of art for trying to help hair?  I have been using some Biolage Deep Treatment Masque thing that seems to be working okay.  I just am left with very straight, lifeless, dry brittle hair, which is no longer black but a dingy brown.  Only three days after I went to put it in a pony tail, and it was breaking off.  Then it was hurting my head for a while with a burning sensation. 

I am actually just devastated since I was known for my long thick locks. Now they are dry , brittle, and limp.

I realize I was a FOOL on that Saturday night, but I can not take back this mistake.  I am probably going to cut the ends here rather quickly and just pray it grows out fast.  But personally i am finding there is nothing I can do with my hair but keep it down during the day.  I am now just using a wide tooth comb sometimes.  Trying not to wash it too often, and wearing it up in the satin bonnet at night. 

If anyone has had any horror story like this, please help? advice?  anything is welcome.  I seriously am dealing with depression with this, because it was a great deal of my life, my hair.  I just feel it is not my hair but someone transplanted this damaged mess while I was not looking.

Is there anything I can use that is a good leave in conditioner? how often should I wash it?  will I be able to rinse it black anytime soon? (I realize I can not dye it now for months but have a semi perm rinse I would like to use) 

Do these relaxers ever relax and come out?  will my hair be ruined till it grows out in a few years?    I am just praying the hair folicles were not damaged , in which to stop growth...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:( 

Claude

  Thank you so much for your insight into this hair disaster!!  I know I am to blame for letting her get away with hair murder.  :)  I am just getting used to feeling so depressed, about this issue.  I am going to call a salon today to see if I can make a appointment for the L'ANZA 5 Step Deep Conditioning Treatment.  Hopefully the salons will do it by me.  :)

    I do have a question though.  Some people have mentioned keeping hair moisterized with oil , like using a bit of Kemi oil?  Is that too much oil for my now very dry, brittle hair? 

     Everyday is such a pain because I have to have this now mop on my head, that is lifeless.  Thank you very much for the information.  I am going to read this everyday for weeks on end!!

     My friend usually does my nails, and now I am in question of even going back to her.  She did mention she should have based me before the treatment. I just do not know why she did not do other appropriate measures for the hair, and am confused.  What really makes things worse, is I do have a beautician that I go too, and she knows my hair well.  I have learned a valuable and costly lesson. 

     If there is anyone else who is caucasion (spell?) and used a relaxer on their hair, I would like to hear what their experience was like? 

THANK YOU AGAIN GLAUDE.....I deeply apprechiate any and all information for this matter...

Well I did it, I had the 5 Step L'ANZA process for my chemically damaged hair.  She stated the hair is just very dry, and almost like straw in the front.  To this date my scalp is still red in the back from the relaxer.  But the products she put on my hair felt wonderful.  I let my hair air dry instead of blow drying it.  She recommended coming in for six treatments.  My next one is next week....so hopefully my hair can recover some, or at least have healthy new growth. 

This is still so depressing........  but the hair kind of feels a bit softer...and cleaner! :) 

Susan W....

Thank you for the excellent tip on the shampoo....Right now, I am not going to wash it or anything until maybe a few weeks into this treatment stuff.  But I will definately be diluting the shampoo with your suggestion!!! 

Thank you!!! 

Today my hair just is very flat and dry, but not as bad as it was...the worse thing is I have a trip to go on next week, and have to walk around with this new...unbecoming hair do...:( 

Thank goodness for this site...I think I would be so depressed I would not even come out of the house, except for work....if it were not for this site!  thank you everyone!!!

I realize this is going to be a long and slow process to get my once thick hair back!  I just hate now that I can not really put it up in a pony tail like before, and have to use a wide tooth comb instead of a brush in the mornings....:(

I did just buy some new make up, .....but I think maybe also I need to invest in a wig or two...:)

sydCarter'

glad you replied.  I hope your hair gets a lot better too,  It has been three weeks,and I can honestly say I am learning to live with hair I hate.  It is very dry, and when I wake up in the mornings it is sticking up where all the hair has broke off in the front.  :(  My boyfriend says it looks the same but brown. I know he is really being quite nice as the entire thickness of my hair has changed.  I hope the treatwments help you as well.  I have had two treatments and so far they are doing some help...but not enough.

I am off to read your post.....take care

UPDATE:  As of 2/21/06 ( a little over two months since the disaster) 

Well I have had about five treatments using the L'Anza five step repair program.  It really felt bad at first under the dryer my skin was so sensitive.  But I made sure we did not blow dry it after the first few treatments.  My hair was still looking better but was still without a lot of body, and the ends were kind of fried.

My stylist also put on something called hair cavier (not sure the spelling) , it smells great, but is a bit more expensive. 

And I am happy happy happy to announce I was able to get a rinse back in my hair, which is now black.  I figured if it is going to be ruined, why not at least have it the color of my choice.  The rinse was very gentle, and did not really do any damage.  I am just using a wide tooth comb on it at this time.  Still I am not able to do the magical styles in the past.  I am about 50% more happy with my hair, when before I was just devastated!

The lady is still my friend, but she just can ONLY do my nails now!!! 

Hang in there everyone......I just know it takes forever to actually feel good again about the hair.  ((((Hugs))))