my hair sucks...please help!

I am a 36 year old male who's had the same hairstyle since I was 20. My hair is course and wirey and any hairstyle I try never looks good after I leave the barber shop. I have tried going to women's salons and all that crap, but nothing seems to work. My wife has moved me off of using Gel in my hair and I am now using pomade and or thin styling spray, but my hair still gives that wet or "greasy" look which I want to get away from.

Is there a way that I can keep from wearing anything in my hair and go with a natural and dry look, but keep in under control? I don't want my hair to be stiff but I want it to look good if I have been in the wind. My current style is like Howie Long's hair, but his doesn't appear to have the wet look.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

what type of hair do u want. do u want curls, waves, or what.