35 w/ long braids & now confused

maybe you could have your hair with some nice updo while working? I know for a fact that they look very respectable and professional!!!!

I agree with John-- this was rude and totally out of line. Who is he to tell you what to do with your hair?

My own opinon would be that it depends on how you braid your hair: If you wore it in two pigtauils ala Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm I might say yeah, this looks a little too little girlish. If you braided it in one big braid and wrapped it around your head like the lady on the Folger`s can, I would suggest yodalling lessons.

But there are many MANY elegant ways of braiding the hair that are very adult and very romantic!!. My favorite is to braid a little higher than the nape of the neck and then to turn the braid inside out. Then I rebraid whatever is hanging below in to more than one braid of different thicknesses. Turning the braid inside out gives the hair a nice fat upswept feeling which is just lovely! Try it!

Tina,

Don`t be confused. Your boss is unfortunately expressing an "old-fashioned" belief that used to be commonly held. Not too long ago - I`ll say 10 to 20 years ago - it was common advice that long hair after age 40 (or 35, or even 30) was a no-no. About 10 years ago, I remember this advice in the newspaper in the small North Carolina town in which I was living: "After age 35 wear hair no longer than shoulder length."

More recently, there is more support for the view that women can wear their hair as long as they want for as long as they want, provided that it is kept in good condition. For example, see Karen Shelton`s article - I think the title was "Long Hair After Age 40" - which I read on this site in the last year or two.

I suggest you make copies of Karen`s article and a few others to show your boss. It should not be hard to find several others on the web. We may have saved a couple (from back when my wife`s grandmother was pressuring her to cut her hair, which she did at age 38, only to regret it - she`s now 41 and with long hair again!), so let me know if you have no luck finding any.

Let your boss know that presenting a professional appearance is important to you, but that in your opinion and lots of other people`s opinions that does not rule out very long hair or braids. Maybe challenge him in a good-natured way to find better support for the position that you are too old for long hair!

I agree with the other post that some styles of braids can look childish, but I doubt the styles you have been wearing look childish.

I find it strange that in this day and age your boss made the comment. I doubt that any customers complained, so why should he care in the first place? However, you certainly don`t want to lose your job over it, so go about correcting his "old-fashioned" beliefs in a humorous way.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

Tina, I think it is hilarious that men comment on women`s hair, while most women would never tell a man - "hey, that comb over is really phony and comical looking! - Why don`t you just shave it?" You should look at your boss`s comment in perspective. Will you be working here long? Do you want a future in this company or do you think you will be moving on soon? Also, is it a male dominated industry? Maybe that day, you were wearing a braided style that was more youthfull than the culture accepts in that company. Your boss may be old fashioned, yet he may also be doing you a favor (in his own sort of tacky way) by letting you know that people do often judge by appearances. I am in no way suggesting that you cut your hair. I think instead you should experiment with buns, french braids, and other, more sophisticated looks that hide your hair at work. I work in a very male dominated industry and over the years I have learned to wear masculine suits, and I let myself look "dowdy" at work. It has paid off financially. Doesn`t mean I need to be frumpy at home for my beau! Tie your hair up at work, and let it down at home. Some people may think this is bad advice but I still think women have a long way to go to be accepted in certain roles. Try not to be so sensitive about it and chart your own life descisions. I wish you well and truly do sympathise!

ROFLMAO - I love Jennifer & Crystal`s advice!!! Depending on your boss, maybe you can combine them: "Was my last project OK? Thank you, I`ll consider that. How about you consider shaving your head?"

Hello Tina

Wow how unbelievable this manager can be. Work is tough enough without the added pressure of jerks.The stories we could put together in a book that we have all tolerated one time or the other that the general public wouldn`t believe that actually happened in the workplace. It seems to me that he wants you to be part of his fantasy. Hey maybe next time he will ask you to change your hair color too!! It sounds to me he is not happy and looks to change others. That is actuallly on the border line of harassment you know. Protect yourself and write it down in a notebook and date it in case you need it in the future.
Man I would agree that he should take his own advice and really look around. Gee he has become a real hair style consultant hey!!! I guess the best thing you can do is just smile and keep on doing your best in your work.

If this jerk really looked around he would have easily noticed that not all intelligent women have one type of hairstyle and are very capable of making changes and keeping up with the latest styles that suits them well. I think very few women need men to update them and often it is the women that update men eventhough my own boyfriend has better taste than me at times but neverless ...... IN fact if he really opened his eyes and took notice he will notice that women have many hairstyles and he might just surprise himself and see that many many intelligent women no matter what age they are very capable of making their own decisions some do make an attempt in keeping their long hair like my own boss who is a doctor and she bounces around the office with a long blond braid. While I was going for my interviews I met many diffierent women who wear their hair very short to medium to long and it really didn`t matter what career they had. In fact the other day I was in emergency with someone and while I freaking out in my own head and pretending everything was just fine I started to really study the nurses, the doctors , the health care aides to take my mind off things. I noticed that many nurses etc had very short hair but once in a while I did notice a nurse wearing a bun and I notice a male doctor with ponytail and so many diffierent ages.

Welcome to the working world. The people that say that your boss has no right to tell you this I believe are just plain wrong. If you came to work with you head shaved and purple in color do you people think that the boss (he or she) has no right to say anything?

If your boss believes that your style (hair, cloths, or other) is not appropriate they have every right to tell you. If a business is trying to present itself in a certain way these are part of the rules. Look at IBM, they have a very strict dress code for certain employees. Businesses are just trying to present themselves in certain ways, maybe your boss wasn`t the most tactfull but maybe he/she did it the best way they could.

A previous person said to try wearing your hair up, I think that is a great solution. Give it a try.

I think your boss has no right at all to tell you what you should and shouldn`t do with your hair. That is discrimination. If he had said something like that which refered to your gender or race, then you could certainly get him fired or sue him. Because the discrimination was about your hair though, its kind of hard to take action. Actually, I used to have super long hair but one day a friend made a remark about it, and suggested that a cut some of the length off. I actually did get it cut, and I look years younger. But this might not be the case for you. If you truly love yourself with long hair, then don`t listen to your boss and go with what you believe!

Tina, I am hopefully all is well with you and your hair is still long and braided.

My best wishes

wolfgang