QuoteReplyTopic: Need to go short but am resisting Posted: May 20 2006 at 12:51pm
I'm just over 40, tall with a medium build and an oval face with relatively small features. My hair is dark blonde with just a very few little white hairs in it. I have bangs, and the rest is all one length just below my shoulders. I really love my long hair and I know that women over 40 can wear long hair, but it's really making me sick that I don't think I'm one of them. Even though my hair isn't thin, it's just looking bland and (I really hate to say this) is dragging my face down. Intellectually, I know that I need to cut it short. I've had lots of consultations with several stylists, and they all agree. As an outsider looking in, I think short hair is really what I need, but my own feelings are that I really don't want to cut it. So, what do you do when you know that it really would look great if it was cut but you just don't want to do it? I'm also a little afraid that the way my hair looks now might be hurting my career because it doesn't look very professional. I've tried to put it up, but it doesn't stay. Help!!
DaveDecker
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"Outsiders" in the short hair forum may suggest you cut your hair, and those in the long hair forum may suggest you keep your hair. I hear you say that you love your hair. IMO, that's what matters most - not what outsiders think, or stylists whose professional interests may well bias their recommendations on what they think you should do with your hair.
"Intellectually" speaking, I shouldn't wear my hair the way I do, but I wear it as I do because I like it this way. And it hasn't seemed to hurt my career, either.
Skydancer
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Can you not update your hair to give it more style without losing length? I just had some layers in my hair which was growing out a one length chin-length bob and it looked so much better but I didn't lose much length.
If you like your hair then you will only regret cutting it short, why not try and make your long hair work for you?
It's easy to say that we should wear our hair like we want, but when others are constantly making comments about "holding onto long hair" and "long hair does nothing for you" and you sadly realize they may be right, I don't know if I'm resisting cutting it because I really love the long hair or because I just don't want to give others the satisfaction that I'm cutting my hair short, just like most other women my age! People really love to tell others what they should do with their hair. Personally, I hate mullets, but I've seen people with mullets really get raked over the coals for their hairstyle. It's hard to keep hair that basically no one else in the world likes except you! I'd like to think that what others say doesn't matter, but somehow deep inside, I think it does. I don't know, I'm just really confused.
Hair length only has something to do with age if your hair changes with age. Some people don't have the thick lush head of hair at 40 they had at 20. Your face can change. Your body can change. What looks good at 20 might not look good at 40.
It sounds like you're both not psychologically ready to cut and maybe it's just what you need to pick you up. Which could mean do it or don't do it.
I suggest buying yourself a short hair wig. Hopefully, if you try a bunch on, you'll find one that you like. Wear it around for a while, but only away from work. It sounds like you want to change there only if you're sure. If you wear the wig some, you'll get an idea if short hair is for you.
Some short hairstyles look like you're getting old. Some look like you're young and funky. It depends on what you choose.
Heratic
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From what you say it sounds like you have decided that your current style does not suit you. Its not clear how long you have had this style for but if it is many years then updating it in someway may be what you need, which may not be short.
If you have a trusted regular stylist you could ask the open question "I feel like I need a change. If I just let you do what you want to make me look fantastic - what would you do?". You stylist would hopefully give an honest opinion and possibly suggest more than one option - ranging from long to short options and she may even suggest something that you would consider to be a bit wild, but giving it a try for a month or so may be worthwhile and you still have the option to go short after that if doesn't work.
You need to approach the situation with an open mind and be prepared to have some fun en-route to a new hairstyle, whether it be long or short.
I have to go along with Skidancer, maybe you just need to update your style rather than focusing on what length you or someone else thinks it "right". Look for hair styles you like rather than some notion of age and length.
Thanks for your replies, I really appreciate them. I made a decisiont that I'm really happy with. I did trim 2 inches off, which made a fair amount of difference. I just kept thinking in terms of short/long, and it doesn't have to be that way at all. I will make a consultation with a stylist to just find out what other styles I can do with my length. because even though it's not that long, I just don't want to go much above the shoulders at all.
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