QuoteReplyTopic: if looks could kill...... Posted: July 05 2006 at 9:56am
Have you ever thought about how often we spend time making ourselves nice looking? Well I have and it seems to me that the more I try to doll myself up the worse the stares I get ! I was aN undeniably secure person who straighted my hair..with the hot comb for 13 years, then went to the relaxer when my naps got a little too rough.. and after 16 years of that i have found my niche ..au natural. any way i have noticed more women than men looking at me with my new found joyous crown of thickness on my head. i have recieved insults, people pleading for me to get back on the relaxer train or "why did i go and do that huh love" look. Nobody really bothered too much before until now .I thought that living here in MS would not warrant such strange looks because one makes the choice to change their looks. Why is it that our most equal allies seem to be the less supportive when it comes to hair ? Do you think it is common where you live for people to accept you or reject you primarily on looks? I know that this sounds petty maybe even a little naive but i just wanted to know.
Edited by babyautumn - July 05 2006 at 10:02am
beauty is in the eye of the beholder;make sure that your vision of it doesn't blind anyone elses!
I don't think anything is wrong with spending a little bit of time on our looks, doing hair, make-up, and such, but when it becomes a chore or takes a large amount of time, then something might be wrong.
However, it's terrible that people are insulting your hair! My guess is that they feel a little threatened because in essence, your hairstyle negates their perceived need to spend all the time that they do. It's their right to do whatever they want with their hair, of course. But, it's also your right! If anyone else dares to criticize you, you could come back with "I like what God gave me!"
Do you think it is common where you live for people to accept you or reject you primarily on looks? I know that this sounds petty maybe even a little naive but i just wanted to know.
My experiences are that I've been pressured to cut my hair short. What I really think is that others like to tell us what to do because it validates THEIR choices in life.
If's almost a philosophy that If most other people wear their hair like I do, then I must be doing something right. When you do something different, some people may read it as questioning their choices.
julesyjul88
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You cant please everyone,so who cares? just worry about pleasing yourself! Seriously,they arent the ones who have to take care of your hair or look at it everyday~so it's none of their business what you do with your hair. My sister-in-law used to ride me and give me a hard time everytime I did anything to my hair at all. I finally had to tell her,"Look,if you dont like me,then dont talk to me. If i want a Mohawk,it's my choice.You either like me for who I'am,or you dont need to be in my life at all."
Well,that really changed her attitude!
People always give me dirty looks too.it's called the herded sheep syndrome. They see someone who is slightly out of the norm or not ;like them and they give dirty looks. I give em right back...
Stay how you are,dont change to please others,if you like your hair,that's all that matters!
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. and after 16 years of that i have found my niche ..au natural. 
any way i have noticed more women than men looking at me with my new found joyous crown of thickness on my head. i have recieved insults, people pleading for me to get back on the relaxer train or "why did i go and do that huh love" 
look. Nobody really bothered too much before until now .I thought that living here in MS would not warrant such strange looks because one makes the choice to change their looks. Why is it that our most equal allies seem to be the less supportive when it comes to hair ? Do you think it is common where you live for people to accept you or reject you primarily on looks? I know that this sounds petty maybe even a little naive but i just wanted to know. 
Do you think it is common where you live for people to accept you or reject you primarily on looks? I know that this sounds petty maybe even a little naive but i just wanted to know. 
Stay how you are,dont change to please others,if you like your hair,that's all that matters! 