QuoteReplyTopic: should I tell her I can't do hair for her? Posted: January 18 2007 at 5:04pm
This may be a little off-topic for this section, but I wanted to get some feedback from y'all because you're all so helpful. (I posted in the wedding hair section, but there's almost no activity there.)
My cousin asked me to do hair for her wedding in June. She has 5 bridesmaids and wants them to wear "some sort of formal curly up-do". She asked me to show her some pics of styles to choose from. I spent hours searching high and low on the internet for pics of styles I would be able to duplicate. I emailed dozens of pics and links to her. She said thanks, but never got back to me about it. Later she told my mom to ask me to send her some more pics!
I also asked her to tell me what each girl's hair is like so I'd know if the styles she picked would work or not. She never got back to me on that either.
I also told her to ask them how they felt about having me do their hair (since I'm not a professional, and have never met them). One said no, she wanted a pro. Another said she didn't care. She never asked the other 3. I won't be able to meet any of the girls until I fly there a few days before the wedding.
We don't live in the same state so most of the communication is going on through email. The date was set for over a year after the engagement so she's had plenty of time to plan. She has most of the plans completed already, so it's not like she's stressing out and doesn't have time to get back with me. I don't understand.
Should I just tell her that I've decided not to do it? Because I'm stressing out over it.
First of all, don't you stress out over anything. It's your cousin's wedding, not yours. If she wants this part of the ceremony to be "successful," it's up to her to make sure that the bridesmaids work with you to choose a style based on their hair length, texture, and tastes.
Ask your cousin for the email addresses of all of the bridesmaids, and contact each of them (cc: your cousin) to gauge interest (one already said "no," that's no reflection on you. P.S. In my book you're an updo expert so she's a fool to bypass the opportunity), and then to get into the planning with those who are interested.
Thanks Dave. For some reason, getting in direct contact with the bridesmaids never entered my mind. I guess I was focused on trying to get my cousin to choose some styles she liked. Anyway, I'll ask her to help me do that.
DaveDecker wrote:
(one already said "no," that's no reflection on you. P.S. In my book you're an updo expert so she's a fool to bypass the opportunity)
Thank you for the wonderful compliment! I really don't understand her anyway. I've dealt with her in the past (she's the wife of the bride's brother, I forgot when I said I'd never met any of them). She asked me to do her hair for her wedding, then changed her mind and had it done professionally. About a year later, I found out that she wished she'd had me do it after all. Anyways.....
I agree with Dave, there's no reason for you to stress or go way out of
your way, she should be taking care of this for her own wedding and if
she's not worried about it, not your problem. Its her day.
I would call or email and ask what she thought of the pictures you'd
already sent before spending time looking for any new ones since it
takes a lot of your time, and you need some feedback so you know what
to look for to not waste more time. Until she gives you some
feedback, I wouldn't put any more effort into sending her stuff, I'd
just be planning to have some time available right before the wedding
for if she gets it together and does want you to do something.
Emailing the rest of them yourself is good too, maybe they'll send you
a current pic of their hair at least and you know how many to plan for.
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
Thanks Susan. I guess the reason I'm stressing is because I'm afraid things won't turn out well because of her lack of planning and it'll reflect bad on me.
Well, it really is her lack of planning - you are trying. I guess
what you are afraid of is that someone will blame you? If they
even try it I'd point out her lack of planning and mention all your
efforts and her lack of response to them. No one should blame you
for that, and it probably will turn out fine. What's the worst
that can happen, the bridesmaid's wear their hair down? That's
not so bad! The wedding is in June, so maybe she just feels she
has lots of time, so I'd try not to stress about it, especially this
early.
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
So I started by sending her an email asking if she still wanted me to do their hair because it's been about a month since I've heard from her. She replies with "they all want to go to the salon with me, but thanks for the offer." Not only did she not notify me (the decision was made before Christmas), she had the audacity to thank me for offering! As if I was the one who asked her if I could do hair for her wedding!
*sigh* Ok, I'm calm. It is a load off me now, so I'm relieved.
Thanks for the help/suggestions/encouragement. And thanks for letting me vent a little too.
Well, I'm glad you don't have to do their hair, if they're going to be
that way, the less effort you have to spend on them (probably with them
being picky about their hair too), the easier!
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
DaveDecker
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I'm inclined to agree with Susan's sentiment. Given the way your cousin has been treating you, I would feel relief at not having to be bothered. It was sweet of you to have been concerned for the bridesmaids hairstyles, but I think you're better off without the hassle of catering to what would no doubt be their continued frustration.
Thanks, both of you! It is a relief to not have to deal with it any longer. And I know I'll now be able to leisurely enjoy my visit and her wedding day.
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DaveDecker wrote:
