$$ Problems -- Forced to do blonde AT HOME -- HELP

Two weeks ago, I used a Loreal Coleur Experte two step color/highlighting kit. I was going for a cool shade of medium blond, but it turned sort of red at the roots, then kind of orange when I did the second step -- highlights. I think my natural color must be too dark for this kit (I thought it was still a light brown color, but maybe it's darkened to a medium brown now), but I want to stay blonde. I ended up putting an ash blonde over the orange parts, not on the ends, and that helped some, but it's not the color I'm going for. I want something like the color of Kelly Rippa's or Kirstie Alley's (on the newest JC commercial), a cool blonde, but not platinum -- a nice buttery shade, without being gold. And, not one solid color, but two dimensional. Is it possible to get this color at home?

 

I was planning to try a high lift highlighting kit to get the dimension, but what about a base color? When I called Clairol, they said they didn't recommend using any of their all over colors on top of bleached highlights, because it might turn the highlights a grayish color. I'd like the base color to be a medium blonde, but I'm afraid anything that doesn't use bleach will turn red/orange again.

 

Can anyone give me a step by step process to follow? If I know the exact name of the products I should use, it would make it easier. I'm scared about doing this,  but I really have no choice.

 

There's a Sally Beauty supply store near me, if you think I should try using their products, instead of drugstore.

 

I like to stay away from gold and ash tones. I've had bad experiences with both colors at the salon. The ash toners tend to make my ends look gray, and the golds fight with my cool complexion.

 

I would really appreciate your help.