Need Advice: I have the worst hair in the world

 

I totally understand your problem with difficult hair. I'm also mixed (Japanese/German) and my hair is very hard to style.  My hair is thick and course and if it gets wet, when it dries, it poofs up and out. Styling gels make my hair either too stiff/dry or don't work at all.

 

But don't despair! You don't have to walk around with that cap on any longer.  There are several things that you can try that will solve your bad hair. The thing that really made the difference for me is using products designed for black people's hair. I got this advice from a friend of mine who was black, and she told me that I should start using those products. At first, I thought she was crazy but I decided to give it a try.

 

What I was doing before that,  was that after I shampooed and conditioned my hair, I'd have to add more conditioner to it and leave it once I got out of the shower. But that was only a temporary fix. Once my hair completely dried it would poof up again. So I decided to take my friend's advice. At first, some of the products I used were too greasy, but I continued to test different products. Eventually I did find several products that worked wonders form my hair:

 

LUSTER'S PINK-OIL MOISTURIZER

SOFTSHEEN CARSON'S-OPTIMUM OIL THERAPY

TCB'S-LITE HAIR & SCALP CONDITIONER (although this might be a little too light for really thick hair)

PANTENE'S-RELAXED & NATURAL DAILY OIL CREAM MOISTURIZER 

 

All of these products are basically the same thing, so you don't use all of them at the same time, I just listed the different brands. What they are is basically cream oil moisturizers that you leave in the hair after you shampoo and condition it. They're heavier than wash out conditioners and lighter than oil serums/solids that can actually make hair look and feel greasy. And what they do is that they give shine and manageability to hair that it dry, thick, course, or damaged. This makes the hair lie some-what flat and gets rid of the frizzy ends and poof that also happens to our type of hair.

 

You still have to put a styling product on top of it, to shape/style the hair.

 

Also, when you get a cut the next time, you should tell your stylist to thin out your hair. They do this with special scissors or a razor blade and it really gets rid of the bulk that can make hair look like a "hump" on top of the head. One thing you shouldn't do is cut your hair shorter than one-inch. I did that once and the hair would NOT stay down no matter what I did. If you want a shorter hair style, explain this to your stylist and tell him/her of the problem with your hair and if the stylist is good, they can give you what you want and you won't look like a plant.

 

BUT, you have to have a very good and experienced hair stylist who has some knowledge of ethnic hair. I was going to one person back in the 90s and I wanted to get that Brad Pitt hair cut that he had in the movie "Fight Club," well when the stylist finished, I looked like I had a little plant sitting on top of my head. It was HORRIBLE! I thought I could never have that type of hair cut. I ended up going to a different salon a year or so later, and I was explaining to the stylist what I wanted but I couldn't have because my hair was too difficult. Well the stylist told me that I could have that Brad Pitt hair style and insisted that I let him try. So I did. And I was very surprised that he did achieve it and on my hair ! That's when I learned that you really have to find a hair stylist who is not only experienced in hair in general, but who also understands ethnic type hair, particularly those who know Asian hair.

 

Which means you have to shop around, because good stylist like the one I found work in salons and charge more  than say a place like "super-cuts". And I'm not knocking Super-cuts, if I could get my hair done there I would, I could save money but it wouldn't work for my hair and it would be a problem. I'm not saying that all expensive salons will be good, you just have to try them out until you find one that can give you what you want. A good stylist will give you the hair style you are looking for, even though it may not be the "exact" same thing as a picture you bring in, but it will be very close (visually). I can't stress finding a good hair stylist enough, because it doesn't matter how many hair products you put in your hair, nothing can cover up a bad cut.

 

TerribleHair wrote: I don't know what perms do, would that help?

 

A perm or process or relaxer is a chemical process to either straighten or curl the hair. In your case,  it would mean to have your hair straightened, even if your hair is already straight. What this does is chemically alter the hair strand so that the hair would take on whatever shape it is in, either in perm rods to create curls or flat on the head, when the chemical is on the hair. After a specific amount of time, the chemical is treated with a "neutralizer" and then washed out.  The hair retains the shape for several months after that.

 

I had this done once, because my stylist suggested I try it. And I had mixed feelings but I did it. My hair was straight and flat and smooth. In fact, for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to put any oil cream product in it. At the time it my hair was medium length, about down to my shoulders and my hair had movement, and everything else. So it was remarkable. But after a few days, I started to realize that my hair was so flat, that unless I actually took the time to blow dry it and style it, it looked as though I had worn a cap all day long and took it off. After a while it did look kind of strange to me. It just hung there, you know, it was kind of like people who have very thin-fine hair, and to us we would think that would be a blessing, but they have other problems to deal with, especially if they don't style their hair. So I wasn't too crazy about it. It eventually wore off after about five or six months, mostly do to the re-growth of my "un-processed" hair, so it didn't look too bad after a while.

 

It could be an option for you, but if you are going to do it, don't do it at home. I'm not sure if the chemical relaxers/home perms that you can buy in the store are the same grade/strength that they use in the salons, but if you're not careful you can get serious scalp burns and hair breakage (meaning your hair will break off if combed or brushed). If your hair is wavy, not exactly curly, but poofs out like an afro, having your hair relaxed or permed might actually help.

 

TerribleHair wrote: EDIT: Sorry just to clarify.  I'm almost 100% sure that my hair will never look good in it's natural form.

You are right. I'm the same way. The only time my hair has nothing in it, is usually the night before I color it. I cannot go out with nothing in my hair. Well, I could but then it looks like a fright wig or a helmet or a scarecrow.

 

TerribleHair wrote: How should i ask hairdressers not to put any water in my hair (sometimes they refuse to cut it if not damp)?