my hair dilemma (a little long)--any suggestions?

I always wanted blonde hair growing up, but only found the courage (or insanity) to highlight it starting 6 years ago.  The thing that gave me the courage  to change my haircolor was when I heard a guy ask another guy if he had ever seen Chipper Jones (of the ATL Braves) wife.  He said, you would have remembered her if you had because she is a yellow haired woman.  That just really cut to the bone because the message it sent to me was that is what guys notice--blonde women.   I am currently very light blonde like Paris in the same pic I linked to earlier, but my hair really doesn't look that healthy to me.  I have gone back a little darker several times but am never happy with my hair as it is.  When I am darker blonde I want to be lighter and when I am lighter I want to be darker.  It is a never ending cycle and I want it to stop.  

I wish I had never started highlighting.  I know I did it for the wrong reasons.  I think deep down inside I would like to go back to my dark hair but I want to do it slowly so it won't be such a shock.  Does anyone have any hints on how to go back slowly to my "natural"hair color?   Thanks for listening.