Please help me with my daughter's hair

There are no quick answers.. But if you are willing to do a little reading and some homework, I would start by reading ALL of the sticky threads on this forum.. There is a LOT of good information there that you need to familiarize yourself with

Hair Advice for Our Newbies
Hair technique instructions
What is the best hair oil/oils?

And then there is this thread..
Newbies: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

Lastly she is 6 years old, and she is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to young for a relaxer for a LOT of reasons.. You'll find that lots of us here either shy away from relaxers, use them sparingly by "stretching" the time between relaxers, or texturizing (applying the relaxer for less than the full processing time).. Even so, many of us are not advocates of using relaxers on a child that young.. I'll even go out on a limb and say that very few of us who did or still relax were ever that young when we got our first relaxers..

HTH...

Edited by Divavocals - April 05 2008 at 12:12am

No no more relaxers.. She's MUCH too young for such a harsh chemical process.. Don't feel bad.. You can turn this around..

One more thing.. Her hair is curly.. and curly hair no matter who's head it's on tends to require more moisture than most textures.. There are some good curly haircare websites that also will have LOTS of good information.. I will see if I can find some of those sites and post the links for you.. The bottomline is this: you will need to do some serious homework so you can learn HOW to care for her hair.. The one piece of advice I can give you is this: clear your mind of ANY preconceptions upi might have about black haircare. As you do your homework, keep in mind that yo must treat her hair as something that needs to be cared for, versus something that needs to be beaten into submission.. Don't take shortcuts.. Her hair is very manageable once you learn how to care for it.. (if you are willing to learn) You will be SURPRISED how easy it is.. It's VERY important for her to learn to appreciate and LOVE her natural hair.. I have always loved my thick kinky/wavy hair, and I learned to love it because my mother taught me to appreciate, protect, and nurture my hair.. Your daughter will learn to do this through you.. (Trust me when I say this is a VERY important part of her self esteem) There's lots of information here on this forum.. Stick around.. Do LOTS of reading.. You will do fine.. I'm sure you will have more questions once you've done your "homework".. HTH..

BlueRoses wrote: I guess I just always figured there was some one miracle product I could use and her hair would always stay nice and shiny. So I've tried a lot of products without much success. Not surprising since it looks like caring for her hair is going to be a little more complicated than that. I'm really eager to learn what I need to be doing. As far as self-esteem I've really tried to instill that in her. About a year ago she came to me and said she wanted hair like mine. I told her I loved her hair, that it is beautiful the way it is. I'm actually a little jealous of her hair- all those gorgeous spirals. It's hard though because she wants to be a able to run a brush through her hair like I do, but I told her her hair is special and needs to be taken care of in a different way. Thank you for your encouragement. I wish I had known about this site earlier. Well, I'm off to do my "homework." :)

Good for you.. Keep telling her that.. It's important.. Giving her healthy hair habits and a healthy appreciation of her hair will keep her hair nice for life..

Good for you for taking the time to learn how to care for your daughters hair the RIGHT way. My cousin married a caucasian woman, and unfortunately their daughter's hair is a mess.. My cousin's wife ALWAYS treated Marissa's hair like it was some beast to be tamed, and she NEVER bothered to learn how to care for her own daughter's hair.. (My sister and I BOTH tried to help teach Pat, she just NEVER tried to learn) She was always looking for quick fixes or miracle products to suddenly turn her daughter's BEAUTIFUL curls into something she could quickly run a brush through in the morning.. As a result Marissa has NO CLUE how to care for her own hair at all, and it shows.. What used to be beautiful curls is now a tangled damaged MESS... The only time she looks decent is when she wears braids.. She also does not appreciate or lover her own hair.. (which is truly the saddest part of this whole saga)

So in short I am saying that there are no miracle products, and no shortcuts.. You just have to come up with a good healthy haircare routine for your daughter based on her hair type and what works for her hair.. Black haircare isn't that complicated once you figure out which products work for your daughter's hair. We don't have "brush and go" hair, but we also do not have hair that needs to be beaten into submission either.. (as my cousin mistakenly thought..)

Here's the link I promised. On my website, I've compiled some good curly haircare sites. HTH: Curly Hair Care

As you do your homework, you'll find there is LOTS of good information here.. The ladies here really know their stuff.. Feel free to ask questions as you start on your journey to learning..



Edited by Divavocals - April 06 2008 at 1:19pm

BlueRoses wrote: Thanks for the links. A lot of my questions were answered, but I still have a couple. What is involved in a protein treatment? What kind of product do you use? When do you do it- before washing, after washing? On wet or dry hair? And when you say "moisturize twice a day" does that mean moisturizing lotion? I put some on my daughter's hair every morning after spritzing her hair with water. Is this what I need to be doing, or am I doing it wrong? Ok, so maybe that was more than a couple of questions. LOL

Hang tight.. I'm gonna go get reinforcements.. Keep watching this post girl..

I'm emailing you now. Thanks so much!

Hi Blue,

cmesweet wrote: Hi Blue,   Diva has given you alot of information.   I noticed you mentioned shine. Most curly, depending on the degree of curliness will not shine. There will be a slight sheen to the hair however. This is because, the reflection of light is not on straight silky hair and has various surfaces to bounce off of. So it is ok if your daughter's hair does not SHINE.   Also, this site might be of assistance as far as keeping up with moisture. www.Biracialhair.org. Although the owner of the site has A LOT looser curl pattern than me, her technique as made a difference in my hair.   Hope that helps.

Girl I'm dancing as fast as I can.. I was waiting for more of you experts to get in here!!! (what took you so long!!!)

BlueRoses wrote: Thanks for the link. I'll check it out.

Keep readin girl, and keep asking questions.. Stick around.. You'll be an "expert" in no time!

Divavocals wrote: Girl I'm dancing as fast as I can.. I was waiting for more of you experts to get in here!!! (what took you so long!!!)

Girl, I been on so many forums that I forgot about this one.  I know, shame on me. 

Edited by cmesweet - April 09 2008 at 10:02pm

Samanthajones67- I got the link you sent me to your website- lots of good info there. Thanks!