Oiling scalp without weighing hair down

First of all, stop the blow drying...This is what is drying your hair out.  Sit under the dryer with a leave in conditioner (infusium 23 is the best and cheaper than most of these others).  You need to build up more protein in your hair.  Start using deep conditioners (pantene makes an excellent conditioner for women of color) and also watch how you pull on your hair.  Some people are heavy handed and impatient with their hair.