I find it *very* weird! If someone wants a girl, then she should adopt a girl. She's setting him up for a large sexual identity crisis. Life is tough enough as it is! If he chooses to do something like this totally on his own, that's a bit different. But a woman who encourages her son to look like a girl sounds like she has a few concerns of her own to work on.....
Jennifer
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Member
Joined: November 30 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 748
No one knows what the future will hold. Meantime, your "child" will have to use the restroom sometime when he/she is in public.
What should he/she/it use? That's a very serious question. If he uses the boys' restroom, most likely he'll get beaten up! Yet, he isn't a girl, and should not rightfully use the girls' restroom. When the girls find out a boy is in their restroom, he'll most likely be labeled with some highly destructive words questioning his motives.
Legally and biologically (at least it sounds like...), he is a boy. Are you teaching him how to handle the incredibly cruel remarks that will undoubtedly occur as times goes on?
If your son is interested in fashion, then by all means, he should learn about it. But there are men's fashions, too! Of course it's ludicrous to say that men can't learning "cooking skills" (someon else's example) because it's a "feminine" thing. Many of the world's greatest chefs are very masculine men! Why not help him pursue his interests without making him look like a girl?
I'm trying to figure out if this is all a big joke, or if you're sincere. I hope it's the former, because, I really worry if it's not a joke.
Hi Andrea, If Jamie wants to try out dresses or skirts let him. He can then decide which he prefers - to dress as a girl or a boy. As long as you let HIM decide which he prefers - later he may wish to revert to more masculine hairstyles & clothing but for now let him enjoy the fun.
bobbedguy
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Junior Member
Joined: December 06 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 52
Why does everyone seem to think that Andrea is forcing Jamie into this? I'm a guy and when I was a bout 6 or 7 I started getting into my aunt's closet and playing dress up in her dresses and skirts. I loved it. It was a lot of fun. Soon, when I was home alone I would put on makeup, pull my hair back in barrettes, and step into a dress or skirt and have fun. Nobody forced me into this. Some boys/guys just have a feminine side or a curiosity about girls and their hair and their clothes and lingerie. Everyone must admit that girls/women have much prettier clothes than guys and much more variety and freedom with them. Girls also have that same variety monopolized when it comes to hair length and styles because girls can do whatever they want with their hair where guys are usually mandated by parents or society to have short hair. Well, I'm a guy and I like to venture into my feminine self sometimes and I like to be different because if I just sit back and ride with the stereotypes then I'm just another guy. I proudly wear my hair in a bob cut that comes just below my ears with bangs. Yes most people consider this a girls style but I love it and I have found that people I meet find it easy to remeber me because I am not just like all the other guys. Anyway, it is Jamie's choice and he shouldn't be forced, but there are guys that choose to be a little girly.
bobbedguy
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Junior Member
Joined: December 06 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 52
Why does everyone seem to think that Andrea is forcing Jamie into this? I'm a guy and when I was a bout 6 or 7 I started getting into my aunt's closet and playing dress up in her dresses and skirts. I loved it. It was a lot of fun. Soon, when I was home alone I would put on makeup, pull my hair back in barrettes, and step into a dress or skirt and have fun. Nobody forced me into this. Some boys/guys just have a feminine side or a curiosity about girls and their hair and their clothes and lingerie. Everyone must admit that girls/women have much prettier clothes than guys and much more variety and freedom with them. Girls also have that same variety monopolized when it comes to hair length and styles because girls can do whatever they want with their hair where guys are usually mandated by parents or society to have short hair. Well, I'm a guy and I like to venture into my feminine self sometimes and I like to be different because if I just sit back and ride with the stereotypes then I'm just another guy. I proudly wear my hair in a bob cut that comes just below my ears with bangs. Yes most people consider this a girls style but I love it and I have found that people I meet find it easy to remeber me because I am not just like all the other guys. Anyway, it is Jamie's choice and he shouldn't be forced, but there are guys that choose to be a little girly.
Jennifer
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Member
Joined: November 30 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 748
"I have dressed Jamie up a few times at weekends and on vacation and I have decided to try and grow his hair as long as possible (before the hormones kick in! LOL)
He is now a lot more comfortable in more 'feminine' attire"
Sure sounds like she is dressing him that way and making all the decisions. And since he is now "more" comfortable, it sounds like he wasn't very comfortable with it before. A young boy with a dominant mom dressing him like a girl. Oh "boy," some psychologist someday is going to make a fortune off of him!
I think the "feminine hair style" is not reserved only for girls or women. Sometimes I think natural long flowing hair fits young men or boys as much or even better then young girls. Sorry, with fashion like (short) hair styles I have no relation. I remember as a young boy I was always impressed from the long girl`s hair and I wanted to get it for me, but my parents always react very strong against longer hair. I think this permanent pressure against my wishes has damaged something of my psyche. Later on, in my twentys I had long hair some years and I am sure it looked feminin, from the back or in the darkness (of an evening) some people couldn`t decide if I am male or not. That doesn`t has maked problems to me in any way, I knew I loved women and I loved their long hair and I tried to present something of this enthusiasm through my own appearance. A psychologist told to me I would try to discover the woman insite myself, he may have right but he had much more problems with himself then I had with me.
wolfgang
dianefromcanada
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Member
Joined: December 15 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 559
Wow Jennifer who needs soaps when we can read all this! lol Anyways you fogot to meantion that she talks about her best times and nothing to do with the child. She should have had a daughter.
dianefromcanada
dianefromcanada
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Member
Joined: December 15 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 559
Yeah Wolfgang I can understand your comments but lets face it the whole topic goes beyond letting a child have long hair or taking cooking classes. I agree with you that the pyschologist was nuts in your case. I was a tombboy myself as a child but I wasn`t wearing male underwear or my parent tried to dress me and pass me like a boy. That would be like me all of sudden putting stockings on my sons and making them wear panties just for fun. Reality check.
dianefromcanada
dianefromcanada
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Member
Joined: December 15 2000
Status: Offline
Points: 559
Yeah Wolfgang I can understand your comments but lets face it the whole topic goes beyond letting a child have long hair or taking cooking classes. I agree with you that the pyschologist was nuts in your case. I was a tombboy myself as a child but I wasn`t wearing male underwear or my parent tried to dress me and pass me like a boy. That would be like me all of sudden putting stockings on my sons and making them wear panties just for fun. Reality check.
Hmm. Well, sorry if I sound judgemental, but look at those who are in favour of this unusual get-up; Bobbedguy who seems a bit more in touch with his feminine side than most guys, Diva Mikey who I think speaks for himself, Guy with Braids and Boy in Curls ditto on both counts and Wolfgang who saw a shrink to discover "the woman inside himself". I dont decry their way of life at all but are they really representitive of society? Come on Andrea, those who think this is a good idea are the converted anyway, you`ll probably do your own thing to Jamie whatever but don`t be surprised if Joe Public finds it all a bit odd. (You`ll no doubt see that as a vindication)
Yes, I am sure you are having fun playing "dress up." But what is that doing to your son`s self-esteem? You are telling your son you like him better as a girl - something he can never be. You should tell your son you love him the way he is. Don`t go messing with his sense of self worth like that. Besides, dress up is for children. You are a mother now. An adult.
wolfgang
Members Profile
Send Private Message
Find Members Posts
Add to Buddy List
Junior Member
Joined: January 04 2001
Status: Offline
Points: 97
I think you have right, this hair thing is very big for me and I neglict or forget sometimes other parts of reality. I have no own childs so my thoughts about childs are a little bit speculative. I guess I never would react like my parents about the child`s hair and I would support it`s growing but I also would respect the gender of the child in clothes and colours. I think the choice to look somewhat feminine for me was strongly related to hairs and it was really subjective.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Topic Options
Post Options
Thanks(0)
