"Regard for style is lacking in substance" -- Dear Abby's take

The following is an excerpt from "Dear Abby" in today's newspaper (June8, 1999. Copyright Universal Press Syndicate) in response to a previousletter from "Loving Granddaughter." I've chosen to share just an excerptto limit the length of this post, but it is part of the overall storypresented within Abby's thread of conversation, all of which is compelling."Dear Abby,When my mother was in her 50s, she came to see me to get her hair cut.My father's sister had told her that she was getting too old to wear itlong. I'm sure my aunt was only trying to be helpful and bring Mothera little more up-to-date.I told my mother that it was her hair and that she should wear ithowever she liked it best. The next time I saw her, she had short hair.She had been so afraid of looking foolish to others that she hadn'tthought of the most important person -- herself.Her hairstyle may have been more "modern," but she felt like Sampson.She had always been proud of her long, thick hair but was now tooself-conscious to wear it that way. She kept her hair short after thateven though she didn't like it.I wish my aunt had kept her mouth shut. Hair is only an adornment, andit was much better to see Mother self-confident than stylish."Loving Granddaughter" should be glad that she has a living grandmother.My poor mother passed away about 10 years after that. She had metastaticbreast cancer and lost all her hair from chemo and radiation.-- Motherless Daughter"