QuoteReplyTopic: Well Coifed Hair Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:07pm
This concerns an ongoing battle that I have had with me wife. Whenever we get romantic in bed, she does not want me to "mess" up her hair. I consider the running of my fingers through her hair to be an enjoyable part of the experience. I also reason that she will have to fix her hair again next morning whether or not I touch it. If any of the women who read this have short to medium length hair that requires significant maintenance each morning can comment of this I would appreciate it. What "rules", if any, have you established with your mate touching your hair in bed? Your responses will determine if it is my wife or I who is being unreasonable. Thanks.Jimmy S.
Perhaps you should tell her that the beehives which are the backbone of the hairspray industry have been out of style for the past 30 years and that you'd love to see a new hairdo that makes her look younger than age 80.;-)
Ouch, poor guy. Its hard for me to imagine a "romantic interlude" that didn't involve a good deal of mussied hair but if this is a for real situation I would definately avoid the sarcasm that's been offered as a response since it might alleviate your problem in a different way, like you'll find yourself sleeping on the couch!Why don't you just gently advocate a more natural, less high maintainence look for your wife? Tell her you love her hair, maybe buy her some new hair care products, compliment her during one of those times when its just been washed and is free from any "coifing" and in a kind and sincere way express that its actually much more fashionable and "in" to have a softer less "helmet hair" look these days anyway. Maybe she's tired of all the effort it seems to be taking also, but somehow feels she "has" to do it to look good? Assure her thats not the case.Alternative concerns are, of course, the issue that sometimes what we bicker about isn't what's really bothering us so maybe you could explore that too, but its a much more personal subject area and way beyond the scope of this board.Good luck! My personal opinion is she should just relax, but that's just me, I like the fluffy tousled first thing in the morning look as does the hubby, so you can't necessarily use us as a guide!Hope it works out, but also, please don't just go throw at her that a bunch of strangers say she's being unreasonable, that'll probably end you up on the couch too!Very best wishes to all,Dawn> This concerns an ongoing battle that I have had with> me wife. Whenever we get romantic in bed, she does not> want me to "mess" up her hair. I consider> the running of my fingers through her hair to be an> enjoyable part of the experience. I also reason that> she will have to fix her hair again next morning> whether or not I touch it. If any of the women who> read this have short to medium length hair that> requires significant maintenance each morning can> comment of this I would appreciate it. What> "rules", if any, have you established with> your mate touching your hair in bed? Your responses> will determine if it is my wife or I who is being> unreasonable. Thanks.> Jimmy S.
Heh. My Aunt Ela used to spend an hour every morning applying her make-up. She more or less blotted out her face with foundation and then re-drew her features from scratch. When she fell in love with my uncle and they first went to bed, she told him, "You can do anything you want. Just don't touch my face."Now, I don't wear make-up, but I don't like people touching my face because I don't want oils from their hands on my skin, wrecking my complexion.SO...is your wife trying not to disturb her hairstyle, or does she just not like the sensation? Does her hair tangle easily perhaps?I can tell you that short and medium hair sometimes have a harder time recovering from tousling. Disheveled long hair looks wild and sexy, whereas as short hair tends to just stick up. It doesn't have the necessary weight to fall back into place. So your wife might be self-conscious. Maybe she fears your perception of her attractiveness will be "wrecked" if you see her in such disarray. It's hard for a woman to relax and enjoy herself in the bedroom if she feels she looks silly.If none of these is a factor, however, and she really is just trying to save time in the morning, then I think she's being unreasonable. As Jena lightly suggests, that's /some/ high-maintenance hairstyle if it can't recover from one night of passion. If your wife's 'do requires more than 20 minutes' styling time, a significant amount of hairspray, or scaffolding, urge her to explore some more natural options.Life is short. Why let vanity get in the way of a rocking sex life?Ally
Ally, a few moments ago, if you thought you heard some uncontrollable giggling, you're not imagining things. It was me! I love that term -- scaffolding!!BTW, you seriously made me realize what it is about short hair that I always found unappealing. It wasn't so much the length (well, sure that is some of it) but it's that "molded" TV anchorwoman, everywoman type of look. I don't care for ratty hair, but that tossled look with mischevious eyes is *very* sexy! It's easier to achieve with long hair but not impossible with short.
>Ally:Thanks for your response. Yes, my wife spends at least 20 minutes to style her hair each morning and uses a "moderate" amount of hairspray. I have no idea what scaffolding is, so I cannot accuse her of that. Your response and some of the others have encouraged me to urge my wife to seek a new, lower maintenance hairstyle. Maybe then we can get things rocking. Thanks again.Jimmy S.
> Ally, a few moments ago, if you thought you heard some> uncontrollable giggling, you're not imagining things.> It was me! I love that term -- scaffolding!!** It's a good word!!!> BTW, you seriously made me realize what it is about> short hair that I always found unappealing. It wasn't> so much the length (well, sure that is some of it) but> it's that "molded" TV anchorwoman,> everywoman type of look.** I agree. I dislike any hairstyle, long or short, that looks contrived. The 80s were a very bad time for me. I like hair to look like the wearer possibly rolled out of bed that way, not like a light rain might bring the whole thing crashing down.Same goes for those heavily-layered, blown-out, sculpted 90s looks. No one's hair grows like that!The worst is when someone with fine or thin hair hair uses a dryer and hairspray to torture it into "big hair." The result is usually see-through. Work with what [insert deity of choice] gve you.I don't care for ratty hair,> but that tossled look with mischevious eyes is *very*> sexy! It's easier to achieve with long hair but not> impossible with short.** Not impossible, no. But you can't /sleep/ on wet, short hair. Usually.Ally
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