I'm just getting back from a trip (yes, Sueann, again)and saw this thread. Hope it's not too late to join in-I guess it never is.I don't think I ever heard of someone being forced at 17-not that I don't believe it! I'm just curious, wasn't there anything the 17 year old could do about this? Maybe this sounds like a dumb question, but I know that in the states there are laws that a person has at this age to give him/her rights. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that's the case in New York. At any rate this whole situation with Jamie is terrible, to say the least. Before I even read any of these posts I had the same ideas (jealousy on the mother's part, etc.) and I wonder if the father of this child is around and has any say in the matter? Some women are so domineering though their men don't get to have two words to say in the matter. If the husband is around (or even if he's an ex-husband) I would hope he would have some compassion for his daughter and take over this whole mess and NOT ALLOW it. Sounds right to me, anyway.Holly
Before I even read any of these posts I> had the same ideas (jealousy on the mother's part,> etc.) and I wonder if the father of this child is> around and has any say in the matter? Some women are> so domineering though their men don't get to have two> words to say in the matter. If the husband is around> (or even if he's an ex-husband) I would hope he would> have some compassion for his daughter and take over> this whole mess and NOT ALLOW it. Sounds right to me,> anyway.> HollyHolly, I had the same idea. is Jamie's father around, and if so, does he have any say in his daughter's doings? The pre and early teen years are crucial in a girl's forming her idea of what her life as a woman will be. A forced *anything* is bound to hurt this, to give her a skewed view of things. Of course, she's the same person where it counts, but the outside does matter. Hearing that she is worthwhile and beautiful no matter what, is important from members of the same sex, but there's nothing to compare with a father's influence.I'm praying for Jamie and her family.Kestra
I can't wait for Dawn to find the answer to our thoughts. It is very easy for all of us to jump to all kinds of conclusion that the mother is jealous or abusive. Parents take a lot of abuse from the public on what they should do or not . Everyone has an opinion about child raising .Personally I think that a 11 year old doesn't really take care of herself yet and who knows maybe the mother was tired and had little time in the day. I am just saying this based on my observation of the girls I know from my friends etc.We can't do much about it. It is her child. Cutting hair is not consider abused. As a parent I make decisions about how long my sons hair will be for now but as a parent I also take into consideration of what they would prefer as a style.Dawn is in a tough situation. She has to mind her business as it is not her child but at the same time she can pamper the child if she wish and nicely ask the mother without the mother feeling she is being accuse. After all I wouldn't want to see Dawn lose a client over a hair discussion.
Hi other Dawn,What a sad, sad tale. The issues of parental control can be so twisted at times and have such heartbreaking consequences for the children who are the victims. My one point on this topic would be that, while it is admirable, even righteous, healing and so important for you to offer this girl support and encouragement within the confines of your relationship as her teacher, to make any attempt to reach the mother, offer insight or otherwise enlighten her might actually backfire since the mother would realize the girl has shared with you her anquish over the mothers actions and the mother may then make life even worse for the little girl since control and domination are obviously big problems for her already. Just quietly let the little girl know that she is not alone and one day she will be free and find those who support and encourage her dreams and desires. It worked best that way for me when I was a tormented pre-adolescent and teen. Trying to reach an already unsympathetic mother can become a nightmare.Good luck! What an admirable and enviable job you have, teaching piano!Very best wishes to all,Dawn> Hi! I am a piano teacher, and today one of my 11 year> old students came to her lesson w/ her previously> long, healthy, beautiful mid-back length hair hacked> off into a pixie cut. She was almost in tears, and> told me that her mother made her cut her hair for some> strange, unknown reason. This girl is *very* mature> for her age, and takes care of her own hair, so there> was no legitimate reason for this haircut. I'm> wondering if it gave the mother a power trip, or was> motivated by jealousy, or *what*. It is one thing to> have short hair if you want it, but it is quite> another thing to have a forced haircut. What is up w/> this? I wanted to scream at this mother, and tell her> what a witch she is, but I couldn't. I tried to> comfort my student by telling her that when she is> older, she can grow her hair as long as she wants to.> Have any of the rest of you ever seen psycho moms> forcing haircuts on kids that ARE old enough to take> care of their own hair?> Dawn
> Hi! I am a piano teacher, and today one of my 11 year> old students came to her lesson w/ her previously> long, healthy, beautiful mid-back length hair hacked> off into a pixie cut. She was almost in tears, and> told me that her mother made her cut her hair for some> strange, unknown reason. This girl is *very* mature> for her age, and takes care of her own hair, so there> was no legitimate reason for this haircut. I'm> wondering if it gave the mother a power trip, or was> motivated by jealousy, or *what*. It is one thing to> have short hair if you want it, but it is quite> another thing to have a forced haircut. What is up w/> this? I wanted to scream at this mother, and tell her> what a witch she is, but I couldn't. I tried to> comfort my student by telling her that when she is> older, she can grow her hair as long as she wants to.> Have any of the rest of you ever seen psycho moms> forcing haircuts on kids that ARE old enough to take> care of their own hair?> Dawn
> Hi! I am a piano teacher, and today one of my 11 year> old students came to her lesson w/ her previously> long, healthy, beautiful mid-back length hair hacked> off into a pixie cut. She was almost in tears, and> told me that her mother made her cut her hair for some> strange, unknown reason. This girl is *very* mature> for her age, and takes care of her own hair, so there> was no legitimate reason for this haircut. I'm> wondering if it gave the mother a power trip, or was> motivated by jealousy, or *what*. It is one thing to> have short hair if you want it, but it is quite> another thing to have a forced haircut. What is up w/> this? I wanted to scream at this mother, and tell her> what a witch she is, but I couldn't. I tried to> comfort my student by telling her that when she isYOU HYPOCRITES!!!!You have concern for one persons emotions when they are forced to cut their hair. But, when it comes to a man wanting to grow hair long or in some style that Society dictates as improper for a man to wear. We all get so uptight that the veins in our forehead just about rupture.Where is this "EQUALITY" that women want so bad for all of us (including men I hope). Is it considered EQUAL to allow one sex to do things that the other sex can't do? If we have a true equality thing going on here, we would not impede others from what they feel they want to do. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone or violate anyones rights.> older, she can grow her hair as long as she wants to.> Have any of the rest of you ever seen psycho moms> forcing haircuts on kids that ARE old enough to take> care of their own hair?> Dawn
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