man's opinion on cutting hair

I love experimenting with my hair, and when I want to change my look, I ask my boyfriend his opinion on how he thinks i should get it cut. All he tells me is that it doesn't matter to him, it's my head and i'm the one who has to live with it. I totally understand that, but I wish he would just suggest. I've even thought about asking him to go to the salon with me, but i'm afraid he'll say no. An opinion isn't that much to ask for. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

> Hi Laurie,> I don't know your boyfriend (and can't speak for him)> but it seems to me that he has made it clear that he> really does not care what you choose to do with your> hair. The question seems to be, do you accept that he> doesn't wish to express an opinion?> Hope this helps,> DaveDave,I may have failed to mention that if I get it cut too short, then he gets upset. I had it cut to above my shoulders and he complained that there wasn't enough for him to play with. So, could it be that he's afraid to voice his opinion? If so, how do i get it across that I need to? And may i ask how old you are?thanks

Laurie,Actually there are two questions a woman should never ask a man because there are no "right" answers. The questions are:1) Am I fat?2) Should I cut my hair?If he says yes, you should cut your hair, and you end up not liking it, he's in the doghouse!! If he says no, you should not cut your hair, and you really kind of want to cut it, he's in the doghouse because he's "preventing" you from cutting it!> I may have failed to mention that if I get it cut too> short, then he gets upset. I had it cut to above my> shoulders and he complained that there wasn't enough> for him to play with.Perhaps you're asking him questions that are too general. Instead of "Should I get my hair cut?" perhaps you could ask, "If I got my hair cut, what is the shortest that you'd like to see it?" That way, he isn't "telling" you how to cut it, but he's giving you his opinion on what he likes.Good luck!Jena

> I love experimenting with my hair, and when I want to> change my look, I ask my boyfriend his opinion on how> he thinks i should get it cut. All he tells me is that> it doesn't matter to him, it's my head and i'm the one> who has to live with it. I totally understand that,> but I wish he would just suggest. I've even thought> about asking him to go to the salon with me, but i'm> afraid he'll say no. An opinion isn't that much to ask> for. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!Laurie,Men have definite opinions on hairstyles they like. They are sometimes afraid to make recommendations thinking that their mate will become upset with them, if they prefer a different hairstyle than she does. Make a game of it. Buy a hairstyle magazine and ask him to set with you and view the hairstyles. Say I really like this style, whatdaya think. Given enough time and playfulness, men will usually respond and you can find out what they like.Remember thoough, sometimes guys say they hate a hairstyle, and they love it when their mate gets it.Another thing, don't blame the guy if you wind up hating the hairstyle he said he would like. That is men's fear, suggesting something their mates may hate.Better than a mazazine, go to a salon using computer imaging. The salon can show you in various styles before making the cut. This variety of hairstyles on you may help you and your mate decide what you both like.

> Laurie,> Men have definite opinions on hairstyles they like.> They are sometimes afraid to make recommendations> thinking that their mate will become upset with them,> if they prefer a different hairstyle than she does.> Make a game of it. Buy a hairstyle magazine and ask> him to set with you and view the hairstyles. Say I> really like this style, whatdaya think. Given enough> time and playfulness, men will usually respond and you> can find out what they like.> Remember thoough, sometimes guys say they hate a> hairstyle, and they love it when their mate gets it.> Another thing, don't blame the guy if you wind up> hating the hairstyle he said he would like. That is> men's fear, suggesting something their mates may hate.> Better than a mazazine, go to a salon using computer> imaging. The salon can show you in various styles> before making the cut. This variety of hairstyles on> you may help you and your mate decide what you both> like.

> Steve,> Thanks for your advice. The thing is, he has sat down> and glanced at magazines with me, but he suggests the> really crazy styles, such as purple hair with spikes,> etc. I'm not sure our area has salons that use> computer imaging.> Thanks,> LaurieLaurie,Try the many sites on the web (ie www.clairol.com), or buy software for makeovers. The software is relatively inexpensive. Then you could show off dfffferent hairstyles to him. It is the only way for a woman to go before considering major hairstyle changes. Please let him know how important this is for you.

> Laurie,> Try the many sites on the web (ie www.clairol.com), or> buy software for makeovers. The software is relatively> inexpensive. Then you could show off dfffferent> hairstyles to him. It is the only way for a woman to> go before considering major hairstyle changes. Please> let him know how important this is for you.Addendum-Laurie,A husband was into long hair on woman, while his wife was into shorter styles. She tried to please her husband and her hair grew below her knees. They got a divorce and she cut her hair.A husband was into short hair, while his wife was into longer styles. She tried to please her husband and let him take her to the barber shop for clipper cuts. They got a divorce and she grew her hair long.A husband was into long hair, while his wife was into shorter styles. She pleased herself and cut her hair short. The husband grew to like the hairstyle. They are still married after twenty-five years.The moral to this story is: You cannot please everybody, so you gotta please yourself. And, in the matters of personal preferences, don't try and manipulate your mate into your mindset.Men do have opinions, but often keep it to themselves. Ultimately, our opinions matter only to the extent another allows our opinion to have sway. When men say "whatever", they are saying what pleases you is ok with me. Accept that the subject may not be an important to them as it is to you.To paraphrase a poet, people must endure their going hence, even as their coming hither, maturity is all. Relationships mature by talking and learning about another. Be open, willing to share your innermost thoughts, and becomes friends. Friendship is important in the relationship for understanding and acceptance of individual differences, preferences, and habits. Open dialogue must be the hallmark of the relationship. Tell him how important his discusszing your hairstyle is to you. Let him know how important his opinion is to you. If he really does not have an opinion, believe him-he may not be an much into hair as you. Accept it, and move on.